


Puppy Love

by MissGillette



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Anthropormorphic!Jesse, Bottom Hanzo Shimada, Explicit Sexual Content, Hanzo is a Furry, Inspired by Zootopia (2016), Interspecies Sex, Knotting, M/M, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Rimming, Size Difference
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-03-06
Packaged: 2018-09-14 15:38:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 58,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9190007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissGillette/pseuds/MissGillette
Summary: Genji signs Hanzo up for a wolfmen/human speed date. Hanzo falls head over feet for a wolf well versed in weather trivia.-Squinting at his brother, Hanzo mumbles, “I do not understand. What is a ‘furry?’”Genji rubs a forefinger under his nose to hide his face-splitting grin. “Literally you."





	1. All Bark and No Bite

**Author's Note:**

> I just... I just wanted big, boofy, fluffy McCree and his little human boyfriend Hanzo... So this happened. Gotta wait until chapter four for nastiness, so if that's what you want, cOME back later. ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ As a disclaimer, there is **no** bestiality in this. None. 
> 
> Wanna make it official? [Follow this](http://missgillette.tumblr.com)

Wrapped up in an electric blanket while his breakfast goes cold, Hanzo watches Channel 5 News with his full focus. Genji stands, unseen, behind him in the doorway between the kitchen and living room. A filthy grin splits his face. The news has reached its weather forecast segment, and Hanzo perking up and actually paying attention hasn’t escape Genji’s keen eye. The walls of the living room are peppered in posters and calendars, some from years ago. The constant theme from poster to poster, from all the calendars is the beefy, smoldering wolfmen posing on the paper. Wolfmen aren’t exactly Genji’s type, he prefers felines, but that’s not the hilarious part. He’s here to once again confront Hanzo about his love—or maybe lust—of these animal men. He bites back a giggle as the weatherman takes his place in the shot and gestures with his arms. He’s a handsome wolf, with pale grey fur and a smart suit. Hanzo snatches the remote from the low coffee table and turns the volume up. 

_“... And for the five day forecast, be on the lookout for scattered showers as this giant low pressure system pushes all the moisture coming up from the Gulf back down south. This system is gonna bring cold, **cold** temperatures and possibly some pretty gusty winds…”_

Genji can’t contain his mirth at this point. He bursts out laughing and nearly scares Hanzo off the couch in the process. He scrambles to change the channel while also glaring daggers at Genji, who leans on the wall. 

“Perhaps knock before entering someone’s home next time? Who does that?” Hanzo grumbles and slouches down the couch. 

“Me, of course!” Genji helps himself to the rest of the couch, despite Hanzo shoving his feet against Genji’s thigh in an attempt to discourage him. “You and the wolfmen. When will you admit that you’re a furry?” 

Squinting at his brother, Hanzo mumbles, “I do not understand. What is a ‘furry?’” 

Genji rubs a forefinger under his nose to hide his face-splitting grin. “Literally you. You love those fluffy wolves, with their big hands and big di—” 

“Please stop.” Hanzo squeezes his eyes shut, as if that could block out Genji’s presence. “Just… stop.” 

Genji’s grin lessens some, sensing he’s taken a step too far. He shrugs. “When will you gather the courage to ask one out?” 

“Nonsense,” Hanzo mutters. “For the last time, I do not have a… **Thing** for wolfmen.” 

“A **thing** , like capital ‘t’ Thing?” Genji cocks his head and unleashes another grin. He doesn’t miss the fading blush on Hanzo’s face. “Uh huh. If the outdated calendars didn’t speak for your ‘thing,’ then your collection of wolfmen dildos and—” 

“Must you be so crass?” Hanzo swats at Genji and kicks him for good measure. “No such items exist in my house!” 

“Or the hidden folder of wolfman/human porn on your computer,” Genji grumbles just loud enough for Hanzo to hear. 

That gets him a lumpy pillow to the face. 

On the floor with his arms up to protect his face, Genji laughs as he bats the pillow away with his feet. Hanzo is red in the face again, all the way to the grey hair mixed in with the black. Finally, he throws the pillow as hard as he can and enjoys watching it bounce of Genji’s stupid head. Genji plays dead for a moment, spread eagle on the floor with his tongue hanging out of his mouth. Hanzo sighs and tucks his feet back under the glorious heat of the electric blanket. When the living room quiets again—except for the laughter track of some sitcom Hanzo had tuned to—Genji rocks himself to his feet. He flops back to the couch, bouncing his brother on the other end. 

“Aw, come on, brother, don’t be so cold. We all have our vices.” 

Hanzo regards Genji out the corner of his eye. “Not me,” he insists. “And if I were attracted to wolves, they would be women.” 

Rolling his eyes, Genji leans on Hanzo’s legs hidden beneath the blanket. “I don’t believe that for a second, Brother. I’m sure there’s a handsome, hairy, thick—” 

Hanzo pinches Genji’s ear to put a stop to that line of thought. He’s blushing again and pulls his blanket up to his chin. Genji sticks his tongue out at Hanzo while rubbing his abused lobe. 

“I’m **sure** there’s a wolfman out there somewhere, just waiting to fall for all your…charms…” 

Hanzo’s lips twist into a frown. “Nonsense,” he repeats. “I have no need for such foolish things.” 

Genji grins to the television playing softly in front of them. “We’ll see.” 

“What do you mean by that?” Hanzo sits up, preparing for another assault. 

Before Hanzo can unwind his hands from the blanket, though, Genji springs from the couch and makes quickly for the front door. His twinkling voice dances through the nearly empty house. 

“You’ll see! I have something great planned!” 

The front door slams shut behind him and plunges Hanzo into the tight squeeze of anticipation. Genji’s playful threat—Hanzo takes it as a threat to his comfort and dignity—has him brimming with nervous energy. It finds routes out of him in annoying ways. Hanzo kicks his feet free of the blanket and bounces them on the edge of the couch. His palms sweat where they clutch at the warm inside of the blanket, and soon Hanzo throws it off in a tantrum. He squirms from the couch and picks his phone off the floor, where his fight with Genji had knocked it off. Luckily, Genji hadn’t grabbed it for a quick peek. Still neck deep in his denial, Hanzo flicks and taps the screen to navigate back to the imageboard full of the beastly, hairy men exactly to his taste. Genji had recommended him other platforms to view porn, but he’d grown up on imageboards and they still work. Besides, taking up Genji’s advice would be admitting to this “vice,” and he can’t handle Genji’s victory face. 

Hanzo abandons the phone with the screen still on while whipping his clothes off. Naked, he throws open the double doors of a wardrobe to stare at the exact dildos Genji isn’t supposed to know about. Hanzo stares his denial in the face, picking out which of the silicone sculptures will delight him for this evening. Anger at Genji’s constant, unrelenting interference drives him to pick one of the larger boys: a towering, purple monster with a knot wider than his fist. Hanzo’s face flames with a renewed blush as he seeks the tub in bathroom across the hall. He’ll need time to prepare.

 

-

 

Tiny snowflakes dance from grey clouds darkening in the sunset glow as Genji and Hanzo stand outside a bar. It’s oddly bright inside, Hanzo notes as his perpetual frown turns deeper and deeper. Beside him, Genji’s grin only gets wider and wider as they watch the festivities inside. The grin is slightly crazed, and although the snowflakes are a chilly shock on the buzzed parts of Hanzo’s head, he’s not exactly willing to go inside. When Genji had shoved him into the tightest jeans he owns and a black v-neck henley, he’d grown suspicious. Now, with a scarf around his neck and a leather jacket on top of the ridiculous outfit, Hanzo knows why Genji had made such a fuss. There’s a professionally printed poster in the window of the bar, below the neon “Open” sign that boasts loudly: Puppy Love! Wolfman/Human Speed Dating! 

Hanzo leans away from Genji’s arm wrapped around his shoulders to give him a withered look. Not all the monsoon rain in India could rehydrate him. Genji’s boastful grin loses some of its vigor, but he drags Hanzo from the curb to the front door with all the strength he has. Hanzo digs his heels in, but the cobbles are slick with rain and snowflakes, so he slides right along. A human greets them, and Genji gives only Hanzo’s name as a participant. Meanwhile, Hanzo rubs his forehead and resists the burn in his palms that hungers for Genji’s throat. Genji wraps a hand around his bicep and pulls him inside. Waiting for them in the bar is a sea of towering, fluffy wolfmen with nametag stickers pressed to their shirts. 

“Genji,” Hanzo hisses under the jazzy lounge music filtering through the bar. “These are all **male** wolves.” 

“Exactly!” Genji’s smile beams brighter than the sun. “What else would they be?” 

One of the organizers of the event hands Genji the sticker with Hanzo’s name on it, which he helpfully slaps on Hanzo’s chest with a bit more force than necessary. Hanzo lets out a wheeze as he stiffly turns away from Genji and wanders towards the many tables set up for the participants. Genji waves at his back, but Hanzo doesn’t turn around. Rather than congregate with the others, Hanzo pulls out a chair at a table with one side labeled “wolf” and the other “human.” His leather jacket ends up hanging on the back of it. That squared away, he drops his weight in the seat and immediately pulls out his phone. Social media is a waste of time, but he can at least open a weather app and investigate what this snow thinks it’s doing. 

Hanzo remains on his phone as a female wolf takes charge at the front of their little area to explain the rules of speed dating. Hanzo pays enough attention to know the wolves get up and move around the room while the humans remain seated. He has only three minutes with a wolf before time ends and they move on. Hanzo eyes the approaching males. There’s a decent mix of wolfmen: young pups with skips in their steps and big smiles revealing their teeth, middle aged wolves probably around his age, and even a few silver wolves who have lost nothing to time. Those wolves lag behind, their fur laced with grey and white much like Hanzo’s hair. Shaving the sides has certainly cut down on that, but he won’t deny his age if asked. More to his taste, a few of the wolves have cuddly weight on them and thick arms, barrels for chests. Hanzo swallows hard and pockets his phone. He almost loses it through a sweaty palm.

Unfortunately for Hanzo, he’s matched with the young pups at first. They’re far too immature and energetic for him, reminding him of Genji. That sours his mood for many reasons, despite his unconditional love for said brother. These wolves are cocky and rake over him with eyes that don’t attempt to learn anything about him. One or two even frown at him and give him attitude. Hanzo dismisses them with a glance at his phone. He draws great happiness when the last young one leaves with a scoff and a shove of the cheap bar chair. Squeezing the bridge of his nose and planning his revenge on Genji, Hanzo doesn’t watch the next wolf sit down. He only takes note at the guttural groan from the wolf, clearly in pain. 

Beautiful fur, rusty and tousled, covers the wolf from head to toe. The wolf might have a medium coat, Hanzo decides. He’s nearly bursting out of a white t-shirt and plaid button down combo. The fur poking up around the base of his throat gleams golden in the light. The wolf’s hands cling tightly to fur by his face: one in the longer, styled locks that must be a hairdo and one rubbing his furry temple. There are a variety of face shapes in the group of wolfmen tonight, but Hanzo notes pleasantly that this wolf’s snout isn’t very long. The part of Hanzo’s mind that laughs at him every time he denies his love of these creatures helpfully points out that wolves with shorter faces are easier to kiss. 

Hanzo pinches his eyes shut at the fresh rush of blood to his cheeks. Now is not the time to ogle this poor wolfman like a piece of meat. His body language cries out his pain. His poor ears—rounded and hidden mostly by fur—press flat to his head. Hanzo can’t see a tail from here, but he assumes the fur is probably ruffled and standing on end, irritated. Shame from having impure thoughts of this stranger helps cool Hanzo’s cheeks. He slides his phone back in his pocket and sits up straighter. After a moment, Hanzo dries his sweaty palms on his jeans and laces his fingers together on the table, if only to get them to stop shaking. Hanzo cranes his neck to read a nametag, and finds “Jesse” written in the same, square handwriting as his tag. 

Clearing his throat, Hanzo sucks in a breath before asking, “Are you all right?” 

Golden eyes peel open and squint at him through the bright light raining down on them. Those honey pools widen for a split second, taking him in, before Jesse snaps them shut and groans harder than before. 

“Sorry, darlin’, I got a pressure headache somethin’ awful. The light and noise in here ain’t helpin’ none.” 

Hanzo’s brain stumbles happily over the gravel in that voice, but the logical part of him urges him to focus. “Ah, pressure headache? What is that?” 

Jesse shifts his hand from pinching the bridge of his nose to shading his poor, light sensitive eyes. He blinks at Hanzo—eyes combing over him much more gently than the younger wolves—and adjusts in his seat. From the corner of his eye, Hanzo finally snatches a glimpse of Jesse’ tail, which is just as rust-colored as the rest of him. It thumps against the leg of the chair a few times before stopping. Hanzo brings his gaze back to Jesse’s face and finds a soft smile waiting for him. He’d been caught looking, but not reprimanded. A chuckle huffs out through Jesse’s nose as he attempts to explain. 

“You know the rain and snow happening outside? Well, that’s being driven our way by a low-pressure system sitting way behind the front. For the past few days, a high-pressure system stalled over us. But as soon as that cold air got up under it, everything started moving. I think this morning we were sitting at 30.34 inches mercury, but last time I checked my phone, I think we were right at 29.99 inches. Once the mercury stops dropping, I’ll be all right. In the meantime, though…” 

Jesse sighs and lowers his hand. His brows wrinkle in the middle above the wide bridge of his nose, but those gorgeous, golden eyes make an encore appearance. Hanzo watches with shallow breaths. His fingers have gone cold and numb at the tips, and he flexes them to get the blood flowing again. It draws Jesse’s eyes down, where they linger on the peeking edge of his tattoo. Genji has put him in this long sleeved shirt, but the edge of the sleeve doesn’t quite cover the head of the dragon on the back of his hand. Before Hanzo can untangle his fingers to pull the edge down, Jesse sits forward and relaxes. His teeth are large and intimidating behind his lips when he smiles. 

“Nice tattoo, darlin’. Sorry that I ain’t much company. Rotten timing.” 

“Tell me more about air pressure,” Hanzo blurts out. Jesse blinks at him, and Hanzo sputters to add, “What, um, what does ‘inches mercury’ mean exactly? How is the…low-pressure driving the storm?” 

The buzzer for the next pair chooses that moment to go off, and their heads whip to the side where another wolf is already standing to change places. Their eyes meet again over the table, and Jesse grins through his pain. He clasps Hanzo’s joined hands—easily holding them in only one paw, Hanzo notes—and pulls him from the line of tables. He swipes up Hanzo’s jacket with the other paw. Hanzo glances over his shoulder at the swindled wolf, but feels no pity for him. It’s another youngster, who glares at the two of them when he realizes he’ll be alone for three minutes. Hanzo hides his little smile as Jesse pulls him gently to a more secluded table, away from the lights. He follows more willingly than he’d thought possible. 

Jesse doesn’t release his hands once they sit down and in fact cradles Hanzo’s chilly hands with both paws. He’s mindful of his claws on delicate skin, and when Hanzo’s fingertips brush Jesse’s pads, he finds them soft to the touch. He’s never actually touched a wolfman directly, only bumped shoulders in the subway or handed money to one at a checkout. He’s briefly overwhelmed with how large Jesse’s paws are and the precise control he has with them. Hanzo shivers and flinches under the wolf’s paws, and Jesse draws back sharply. Hanzo misses his warmth and weight immediately. 

“Sorry, um”—Jesse squints at his shirt in the dim light of the corner, trying to read his name tag—”Hanzo? I got that right, sweetheart?” 

Hanzo ducks his trembling hands beneath the table and nods. “Yes, that’s right.” 

Jesse flattens a hand under his nametag and grins proudly. “Jesse, if you hadn’t seen.” 

Another tiny smile fights its way onto Hanzo’s lips. He tilts his head in a Genji-like manner and says, “I saw.” 

Jesse’s grin morphs into a smile, something more sincere and soft. He leaves his strong paws on the tabletop and nods outside. 

“So anyway, back to our weather talk. Please,” Jesse holds up his paws, palms facing Hanzo, “stop me if I bore you, darlin’.” 

Hanzo nods and waits a breath for Jesse to continue. He doesn't trust his voice to work. 

“I gotta give you two, quick science lessons before I explain air pressure and all that. Have you ever heard the phrase ‘hot air rises and cold air sinks?’” 

Hanzo licks his lips—how dry they've become while the rest of him sweats—and manages a muffled, “Yes.” 

Jesse nods with the edges of his lips ticking up in another smile. “Well, that's because hot air is less dense than cold air. And what I mean by that is, heat causes the molecules themselves to vibrate. Cold air has less energy in it, so they sort of bunch up together.” Jesse cups his paws around in an invisible sphere, as if making a snowball. Hanzo nods and he continues. “So, since hot air is less dense, when it meets cold air, it just kinda slides right up and over it. Now that you know about that, let me explain the water cycle.” 

Hanzo is already aware of this bit, but Jesse’s voice flows over him like a thick soup, and he'd like to enjoy it a bit longer. So, he fakes ignorance and nods Jesse on. 

Jesse ticks off three fingers as he begins, “All right, so you have water in its liquid state, gaseous state, and solid state. Liquid water evaporates and enters the atmosphere as a vapor. However, only so much vapor can be in the air at once, due to its weight. When there's enough water vapor in a cloud… uh clouds form because of water vapor, sorry, it condenses and falls as rain or snow, or what have you. Precipitation, I mean.” 

“That sounds right,” Hanzo says while trying to fight a smile. Watching Jesse talk about this so animatedly and enthusiastically sets something loose in Hanzo’s stomach. It dances around and digs into him. It's not unpleasant, but Hanzo is unsure what to do with it. He adjusts in his chair as Jesse flags down a waitress for something to drink. 

“Want anything, Hanzo?” 

Shaking himself from his thoughts, Hanzo considers alcohol for a second before shoving that idea away. “Water, please.” 

They're soon alone with a beer and a water respectively, so Jesse dives back into his explanation. 

“All right, now you're a pro on the water cycle and different air masses. When you bring all that together, you get weather.” 

Jesse fists his paws and props his elbows on the table to demonstrate his next explanation. 

“So, my fists are different air masses. The warm air mass, high-pressure, is my right. The left is the cold, low-pressure. The warm air brings with it water vapor and plenty of energy. So when they meet”—Jesse’s paws don't make a sound as he gently bangs them together—“high-pressure rises over the low. Also, the different temperatures meet, causing the water vapor to condense. The pressure centers don't have to be super close, but where they meet is called a ‘front.’ And the low-pressure always wins, since it's got the cold air and it can lift the hot air straight up.” Jesse glances at him over his fists. “This happens when moist air hits a mountain range, too, but that’s a different story.” 

Jesse’s right paw grinds against his left as the “high-pressure” system is thrown skyward by the left paw. 

“So anyway, then you get rain and snow like we have outside. It'll pass as the high-pressure system is forced away, creating a void that the low pressure gets sucked into.” 

Jesse drops his hands back to the table with a shrug. Something ticks over in his head, though, and he shuffles in the chair to explain something else. His head bobs and his shoulders jerk as he gets back into the thick of it. 

“And as far as barometric pressure goes, I’m not an expert on that. I know what it is and what’s used to measure it, but I don’t know the science behind it. Air pressure is measured in a sealed tube filled with mercury. So it’s a vacuum. It, uh, balances with the pressure outside the tube, I think. There are barometers that don't use mercury, too, but I don’t know how they work. Anyway, the higher the number, the higher the pressure. It fluctuates between 29 point something and 31 inches, I think. They use a different measurement for metric. No idea what the hell it is.” 

Jesse sits back in his chair with a loud sigh. His gaze dances back and forth from Hanzo to the pale beer in his glass. He turns bashful and rubs a paw on the back of his neck. 

“That was probably the most boring conversation you've had with a guy.” 

“Not at all,” Hanzo argues. “I once encountered a man on the subway who tried to flirt with me by explaining how American tax brackets work.” Hanzo’s mouth twists in annoyance at the memory. “Safe to say I did not respond to his advances.” 

“It's a jungle out there,” Jesse agrees after a sip of his beer. “There are some desperate people who gush about weather and the water cycle. Watch out for them especially.” Jesse winks at him through the shadows surrounding their table. 

Hanzo gives him a patronizing hum. “I will take your warning to heart.” 

Unfortunately, the conversation stalls at that point. Hanzo picks at a torn cuticle while avoiding looking at Jesse’s face. The upset in his stomach burrows deeper and deeper, finally turning the fluttering into a stabbing pain. Hanzo grasps at straws for something to say, torn between excusing himself before he embarrasses himself or wrangling Jesse into another conversation to get him to stay. This is where Genji would excel, sussing out a smooth and natural way to engage Jesse. Hanzo opens his mouth to give it a try, but Jesse beats him to it. 

“I'm sorry, darlin’,” he starts with a sad chuckle. “Feel like I wasted your time, like you coulda found a guy more interesting than me.” 

“Mmm, I disagree. Three minutes of narcissistic conversation reveals little of strangers, I have found.” Hanzo scoots his glass of water around on the table, sure of his words but untrusting of his bravery. “This was…much better.” 

He risks a glance at Jesse’s face to find the wolf hiding his mouth behind a paw. His eyes sparkle above the rusty fur, and Jesse sucks in a breath between his fingers. Hanzo crumples in on himself for a moment, fearing Jesse is about to laugh at him. Instead, Jesse drops his large paw on the table with a slap, almost touching Hanzo’s once again chilly fingers. 

“You are…” Jesse bites his lip before trying again. “Where have you been all this time, Hanzo? How have I not met you until now?” 

Confused, Hanzo offers, “I lived in Japan until about ten years ago, so we could not have known each other until after then. Why?” 

Jesse muffles a sound behind his bitten lip and waves Hanzo’s worries away. His claws caress the tops of Hanzo’s fingers when he stops. It isn't the hand holding Hanzo had enjoyed earlier, but the touch electrifies him all the same. Hanzo scolds himself for wanting to reach out and tangle Jesse’s large fingers in his own. The gesture would surely be unwanted from a stranger. Hanzo stares at the tiny space separating their hands, soaking in the warmth radiating off Jesse, and thinks maybe it would be all right. 

His chair rocks to the side as Genji practically bowls over him. 

“Brother! You found someone!” 

Hanzo bares his teeth at his meddling brother and tries to pinch any skin he can find. Genji laughs and bats his hands away. He wiggles and squeezes a tiny part of his ass beside Hanzo on the chair and leans forward on the table. Blushing and annoyed, Hanzo turns his eyes on Jesse, expecting the wolf to show interest in his younger, livelier brother. Instead, Jesse has a thoughtful frown on his muzzle. It's not quite insulted, but it's not exactly happy either. 

Genji holds a hand out to Jesse and introduces himself with a wink. “Genji, younger brother. And you are?” 

Jesse eyes his hand, but doesn't move to take it. “Jesse McCree. I was having a conversation with Hanzo, there—” 

“Isn't he adorable?” Genji cuts him off. “A stick in the mud, but so handsome!” 

Hanzo snags Genji’s often abused earlobe and yanks on it 

“ _You will stop this nonsense immediately_ ,” he hisses lowly in Japanese. “ _And leave_.” 

“ _Brother, he is beautiful! Good find_. _Have you asked him out, yet?_ ” 

Hanzo glances at said beautiful wolf. Jesse has soft eyes for him, but his expression is still strained. 

“ _He is simply a polite stranger, nothing more. And I'll leave if you won't_.” 

Hanzo slips out from Genji’s weight and turns toward the door without another word. Face on fire and humiliation turning his stomach into knots, Hanzo covers his mouth with a hand as he marches from the table. His insecurity feeds on all his doubts and throws darts at his heart. How could he be so idiotic? Jesse has never met him before, and he is probably just a decent, polite person. Hanzo doesn’t feel betrayed, as though Jesse had lured him into such a state. Instead, Hanzo berates himself for acting like such a soft, weak-hearted child. Through his mental battle with himself, he hears Genji call after him, but he doesn't stop. Heavy footfalls follow him closely, but Hanzo pays them no mind either. When he reaches the bar’s front door, a sad whine pauses his hand ready to push the door open. 

Behind him, Jesse stands with his fingers twisted and squeezing each other. He doesn't reach out to touch Hanzo, but his flat ears and sad eyes are enough. Hanzo steps out of the doorway to make room for others coming and going, and Jesse follows his lead. Jesse shuffles closer, but not enough to box Hanzo in or trap him. He could leave at any time, and the urge to flee is still heavy in his gut. Those big, golden eyes have him pinned to the spot, though. 

“Can I see you again?” Jesse exclaims after an awkward moment of silence. He winces at how loudly that came out, but doesn't try to take his words back.

“Again?” Hanzo peers at him, suspicious. “Why?” 

Jesse shifts from foot to foot and stares down at Hanzo’s free hand. Jesse drops his own paws and twitches to grab him, but he stops just short. 

“We’ve only been talking for about twenty minutes or so, but I think you're...you’re interesting and funny—” 

“You don't know anything about me,” Hanzo insists without any fire in his words. “We are strangers.” 

Jesse’s ears, already flat, somehow sink even more. 

“We are, no denying it. But we don’t have to be! We could…we could be friends, at least…” 

Hanzo’s expression hasn’t changed any. Inside, Jesse’s words tear him apart. But years of family expectations denying him what he’d wanted have trained him to never lose face. As a child, crying or showing disappointment warranted punishment. Even as an adult before he moved to America, his family had expected Hanzo to sacrifice his desires for the good of the group. Denying himself something soft and generous like a relationship with Jesse is nothing new to him. The past and his current insecurities root Hanzo to the spot as his heart clenches in his chest. Jesse watches his stony face before hanging his head, rejected. 

“Yea, you're right, darlin’. I'm, I'm sorry for runnin’ after you like this. I'll go.” 

Hanzo had only managed to escape the crushing demands of his family by fleeing to America. But he’d done it; he’d done something for himself. And he wants to be selfish and have Jesse. Panic at seeing Jesse’s retreating form grips Hanzo and forces his hand. Literally, because he lashes out with both of his to snag Jesse’s immense paws and grip them tightly. It draws them closer together and highlights the fact that Hanzo only comes up to mid-chest on the wolf. He doubts he could wrap his arms fully around Jesse, given the chance. He doesn't miss the way Jesse perks up and his tail bangs against a coat rack behind him. Glancing up through the lock of hair that falls over his eyes, Hanzo sighs and gives in to the vermin burrowing anxiously in his gut. 

“I have never dated a wolf before. Or a man.” Hanzo drops his gaze from those hopeful, golden beauties watching him carefully. “I do not wish to waste your time on something that might be...fruitless.” 

Jesse’s paws squeeze his hands for a split second. “I don't see it that way, sweetheart. I never got anywhere without tryin’.” 

That gets a smile out of Hanzo, although it's short lived. It had certainly taken a great deal of “trying” to flee Japan. It hadn’t been a choice he’d made spontaneously. Hanzo drops his gaze as melancholy takes over him. People glance at them while wandering in or out of the bar. Hanzo tucks himself deeper into their corner, to avoid their invading stares. Jesse doesn't notice, or doesn't react. He waits for Hanzo to give the verdict. His wagging tails gives away his hope and excitement, and Hanzo can't help ducking his head to hide his smile. 

“I will...try. If you will.” 

“You got it, darlin’.” Jesse’s eyes crinkle shut as his grin takes over most of his face. “I know just the place I wanna take you. If, uh, if you’ll go on a date with me. In public.” 

Hanzo’s faint, “Yes,” barely makes it to Jesse’s ears, but he holds Hanzo’s hands tightly as a response. 

Hanzo’s phone is heavy in pocket as he realizes Jesse will surely want his number. A million hypothetical events pass through his head, some embarrassing, some funny, and some that get him heated under the collar. Exchanging numbers with Jesse is the turning point, and he can no longer deny his attraction to men.  Or wolves. Genji will be thrilled. Swallowing hard, Hanzo fishes his phone out and offers it to Jesse before he can ask. There's nothing incriminating Jesse could see without dipping into the web browser. And Hanzo has taken care to hiding the icon in a folder on the last page of his home screen. 

Jesse lights up at the sight of the phone and eagerly, but delicately, takes the small device from him. It occurs to Hanzo at that moment that there must be phones made especially for wolves to accommodate their larger fingers and paws. Jesse’s house must be oversized, as well as his appliances, his bed… Hanzo nearly covers his face again at that last, rose-hued thought. Jesse doesn't notice his internal struggle, just goes about entering his number and texting himself. That done, Jesse’s face twitches into another giant grin as he looks at something on Hanzo’s phone. He flips the phone around to show Hanzo the wallpaper. 

“You like the weatherman on Channel 5?” 

Caught, Hanzo can do nothing but blush and nod with his mouth open just a bit. Jesse’s soft smile and eyes return as he hands the phone back.

“I like him, too. He's pretty accurate, and not that bad lookin’ either, huh?” 

Hanzo bows his head, unable to take any more humiliation tonight. His phone is warm where Jesse had held it, and he considers throwing the device into the street. It's a frantic, silly kind of thought that holds no weight. Hanzo waits to slip outside, hopefully to avoid his brother and go home to recharge. Jesse’s soft paw under his chin forces his head up. There’s concern painted on that face, but his gentle smile remains. 

“I didn't mean to poke fun, darlin’.” 

A traitorous squeak slips from Hanzo’s threat, and Jesse chuckles at him. His pads are quite warm under Hanzo’s chin. 

“Anyway, thank you for your time tonight, Hanzo. I'll give you some space and text you in a few days? That all right?” 

“Yes, that is…” Hanzo swallows hard. “That is acceptable, yes.” 

Hanzo sweats while expecting Jesse to kiss him, even if it's just on the cheek or forehead. He might explode if that happens. His heart ratchets up, and his throat clenches in a vice. Just as Jesse twitches down, maybe to kiss him or maybe not, Genji slides into his side and wrangles one of his arms in a tight embrace. It immediately halts Jesse’s advance, whatever purpose he'd had squashed by the sight of Genji. 

“Be careful, Mr. Big Bad Wolf, you'll overload my brother with so much attention.” Genji pulls him from the corner and fires a friendly wink to Jesse. “He's a delicate flower, you see.” 

Jesse’s previously dashed smile reappears from the ashes. He nods and waves them goodbye. “Take care, Hanzo. Nice meeting you.” 

“Bye!” Genji yells a bit forcefully as they slip into the cold.  
  
The snowflakes have picked up in number, leaving the rain behind. Hanzo welcomes the chill on his ruddy face. Genji drags him along, chattering about Jesse and other wolves that had flirted with him in the bar. All Hanzo has attention for are the snowflakes falling from the sky. He knows there are no two that are the same, but he’s unsure why. As they fall on Hanzo’s cheeks, probably stained red permanently, he wonders how water vapor falls as snow. It's something he’ll have to ask Jesse. For next time.

 


	2. To Bury a Bone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, little warning for vomit. It's not graphic. If you don't wanna read it, after you read the single line that starts with, "Hanzo's stomach flips at that moment..." skip down to, "Hanzo wipes his mouth with a grimace..." You'll miss a paragraph, but it's just Hanzo feeling sorry for himself lol. Enjoy~
> 
> Edit: ALSO if you would like to enjoy a McShimada crack fic this is SUPER NASTY(tm), [please read my other fic~](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9255992/chapters/20982140)

Meeting on neutral ground is the single rule Hanzo gives Jesse for their first few dates. Other than that, he’s open to Jesse taking them wherever. He confesses that it’s been many years since he’d dated anyone, and if Jesse wants to take the reigns of their dates, he would prefer that. Jesse had accepted that with glee and enthusiasm. Jesse had taken him ice-skating, to see a Christmas lights display, and most recently a history museum a city over all about wolfmen. Jesse cradling him as they slid and slipped along the rink had filled him to overflowing. He’d spent the whole time during the rink resurfacing trying to calm down. The Christmas light trip had been another excuse to cuddle up under Jesse’s thick arm and watch the lights go by. Jesse had kept him warm on that hay ride, and this time, Hanzo had been more acclimated to touching. Initially, Jesse had tried to keep his distance. But a firm hand from Hanzo that sandwiched them together was the all clear Jesse had needed. 

The trip to the museum had been Hanzo’s favorite, though. The third date location had been a surprise, and when they’d pulled up to the building in Jesse’s oversized car, Hanzo had been speechless. Jesse had taken him by the arms and ushered him inside, where paintings and sculptures of historic wolfmen surrounded them. Rather than take a tour or listen to the audio guide, Jesse had played host and read all the plaques for Hanzo. They’d stayed long enough, sitting on a bench and holding hands, for someone who worked there to come and ask them to leave. It had taken all of Hanzo’s power to not ask Jesse back to his apartment. They’d set ground rules for these first dates, and Hanzo knew he needed to see them through. 

The fourth date, however… 

“Why are you taking all your shame posters down?”

Hanzo jumps out of his skin at the ringing of Genji’s voice off the recently bare walls. His posters and calendars lie in a box, ready for a corner of his bedroom where they’ll stay while Jesse is here. Hanzo has a few more hours to clean the apartment, shower, and hide anything shameful. The plentiful pinups of wolfmen have to go, least Jesse take him for some sex-crazed, fetishizing freak. Genji toes the cardboard box while standing over him with his hands stuffed in his pockets. Once Hanzo’s heart stops trying to escape his chest, he turns in his squat by the floor to glare at his brother. 

“How did you even get in here? You do not have a key!” 

Genji shrugs. “I have friends in low places.” 

Groaning, Hanzo returns to folding his calendars up and placing them in a box. “Rather than stand around, you could be of use and help me.” 

“Nah. I won’t be a part of your denial.” 

Hanzo folds another calendar. “I would not call it denial when my boyfriend is a wolf, the exact kind of person you have always teased me about liking.” 

Genji hums and coos, “So, Jesse is your ‘boyfriend’ now?” 

Mouth screwing up between a frown and smile, Hanzo inhales deeply to center himself and to disperse his anger. “Yes, Jesse is my boyfriend. Are you happy?” 

“Unbelievably so, brother.” Genji’s voice floats to him from the kitchen, where Hanzo also hears the refrigerator door open and shut. 

“No food for moochers,” Hanzo threatens. 

Genji reappears with a banana in hand, having stolen it from the kitchen counter. Hanzo lifts an eyebrow at him while he stands there, not eating it yet. 

“If you have any ideas of doing something crude with that, I will kick you out.” 

“What, and miss out on a chance to have me dress you up for that hairy doggy of yours? Not a chance.” 

Hanzo forces the last calendar into the box with more force than necessary. “Do not speak about him that way. Jesse is not a dog.” 

The couch groans as Genji throws his weight onto it, banana half eaten already. He doesn’t make a comment about the new couch, recently purchased in wolf-size to accommodate Jesse’s future visits. At least, Hanzo has planned for them. He hopes they’ll exist. 

“But he’s so cute with those little ears and his tail—” 

Hanzo slaps his palm on the wooden floor to interrupt the rest of Genji’s sentence. The sharp contact of skin on wood echoes in the bare room, and Genji knows he’s gone too far once again. Genji sighs to the ceiling and sits up with the banana rind in hand. He tosses Hanzo an apologetic pout before rising to dispose of the waste. When he returns, he seeks the empty space on the floor beside Hanzo and sits properly on his knees. Genji fiddles with his fingers while Hanzo stews in silence, staring at his own hands that rest fisted in his lap. The hand he’d slapped the floor with buzzes numbly, but it’s a better alternative than throwing anything at Genji. His brother shuffles restlessly beside him, and Hanzo lets out another sigh. 

“I’m sorry, ani, I didn’t mean it,” Genji mumbles. “I’m just excited that you’re finally getting what you want.” 

The anger drains out of Hanzo as fast as it had filled him, and he unclenches his fists. Empty once again, soft and rosy feelings surrounding the idea of ‘Jesse’ in his mind rush in to take the anger’s place. This flooding has been happening since he’d first met the wolf, and he’s still skittish around the sensation. Normally, Hanzo would disregard it as infatuation or indigestion. With every touch of Jesse’s large paws and every glow of his warm smile, Hanzo is sure that this is something More. He shifts on his knees and gives the bare apartment walls a once over. This More he struggles with is exactly why he’s hidden all the wolfmen paraphernalia for tonight. Jesse seeing his obsession tacked to the walls might scare him off. But Hanzo puts a stop to those circular thoughts, having already dealt with them this morning, and turns his head to Genji. 

“I am happy, too. Jesse is becoming important to me.” 

Genji nods and shuffles around again. Hanzo rarely sees him sit so formally and wonders if maybe his legs can no longer take the pressure. Done with the posters and calendars, Hanzo rises in a fluid motion and crosses the small living room to head into the kitchen. He watches Genji stumble from kneeling and hides a smile at the confirmation of his assumption. The kitchen light flickers on as Hanzo stows away his private smile. The living room isn’t the only place that needs preparing. The fourth date, tonight, will take place in his apartment. Movies, food, and booze are on the menu, and pride drives Hanzo to make sure everything is perfect. Genji follows him once he regains his footing and leans in the doorway to watch. 

“I have invited Jesse over tonight,” Hanzo admits at last. “It will be our fourth date.” 

“Time to put out?” 

“You just apologized to me for your rudeness. Must you immediately reassume this vulgarity?” 

Hanzo keeps his back to Genji as he opens the fridge, eyeing the ingredients he’d purchased last night in preparation for the date. Thin, well balanced cuts of beef wrapped in waxy butcher paper lie on the top shelf along with a carton of eggs. A thick pot sits on the bottom shelf—full of stock he’d made last night from beef bones. Green produce bags are in the bottom drawers, filled individually with a head of Chinese cabbage, carrots, broccoli, and a few other things. Everything is practically ready for their meal tonight, and yet Hanzo can’t stop his constant checking on the ingredients. He shoves the fridge door shut and leans against it. Genji is a warm presence along his back, and Hanzo glances at him over his shoulder. 

“So, uh, what is the plan? You making him dinner?” 

“Mmm, yes. Beef hot pot, using mother’s recipe.” 

Genji pouts. “Jealous. You never make me hot pot.” 

Hanzo rolls his eyes and pushes Genji out of the way. The kitchen is clean—he’d made sure of that last night—but nervous energy pools in his hands and demands he clean everything again. Hanzo hasn’t yet squared away with the bathroom or his own bedroom, and duty calls. Genji follows him to the bathroom and chatters over the fumes of cleaning products and hot water spray. Hanzo doesn’t reply to any of his musings or questions, but he enjoys his brother’s speedy thoughts spoken aloud. It helps pass the time. They both stink like bleach when Hanzo deems the bathroom clean enough, but a shower awaits him after the tidying is finished, so he doesn’t mind. The bedroom is next, which requires the least amount of decommissioning. 

The forbidden closet, full of things Hanzo can never speak of with a straight face, is shut tight and is as unassuming as it can be. He’d remove the items and store them elsewhere, but his plans do not include having Jesse in his bedroom tonight. The risk of the wolf finding his truly unmentionables is low, he decides. Other than that, his clothes are always organized and put away, and the laundry basket is empty. His sheets are fresh for no reason other than freshness, and with a satisfied huff, Hanzo officially ends his seemingly endless cleaning spree. It’s short work to kick Genji out and shower. The nervous energy and anxiety about tonight close in on him through the steam in his shower, but Hanzo wills all the worry away. He will enjoy tonight. 

-

They sit before the portable gas stove and hot pot in silence. Hanzo judges it an uncomfortable silence as he watches Jesse’s face for a reaction. The food tonight had been a surprise, in return for the trip to the wolfmen museum. If the food isn’t to Jesse’s liking, Hanzo has exactly zero backup plans in place. He berates himself for being so ill prepared in case the worst should happen. Hanzo sinks farther down in his chair the longer Jesse stares at the boiling broth with its meat and vegetable bounty. Jesse blinks hard out of his daze and stares at Hanzo with comically wide eyes. 

“Did you make this for me?” 

Hanzo’s voice chooses that moment to take a dive and not come to his call. Throat dry while he wilts under the unknown, Hanzo nods softly. 

Jesse’s face falls into a sinister stew of happiness and anguish. When it surfaces, he looks torn between yelling for joy or crying. It doesn’t help Hanzo’s crippling anxiety. 

“Oh, sweetpea!” Jesse nearly knocks the table over in his haste to stand. He eats up the small distance between them on tripping feet and sweeps Hanzo up from his chair and into a tight hug. “It smells so delicious!” Jesse smothers his face in Hanzo’s flat stomach. “I could smell the meat when you brought it out, but I kept my eyes shut like you asked and, and, I… I don’t know what to say.” 

Gasping to the ceiling, which isn’t even a foot from his face now, Hanzo wheezes, “A simple ‘thank you’ would suffice, Jesse.” 

“Thank you,” is muffled into his stomach as Jesse rubs his face against Hanzo’s shirt. “I can’t wait to try it.” 

Jesse returns him to solid ground. Hanzo hangs onto his thick arms for a few seconds, just to stop his head from spinning. Jesse’s breath ruffles the hair on Hanzo’s head, and he looks up into the wolf’s smiling face. Hanzo tries to return the smile, but his nerves get the best of him. He bows his head and drops his hands from the warm fur on Jesse’s arms. The wolf lingers in his personal space for an extra heartbeat before returning to his chair and setting it right. Hanzo falls boneless into his own chair. When Jesse is seated once again, Hanzo shakes himself to focus and explain how the meal is cooked and eaten. 

It’s an hour long dinner and a show for Hanzo. Jesse lacks the muscle memory for chopsticks, but he tries valiantly for Hanzo. Every time a slice of meat or vegetable escapes his grasp, Jesse pouts at the simmering pot. Hanzo covers his smiles with his bowl of rice. Jesse’s tail bangs against the leg of his chair whenever Hanzo tries to hide a chuckle or his mirth. When moans accompany the soft _thwap_ of Jesse’s tail, Hanzo can’t hide any longer. His dignity will be in shambles by the end of the evening, but it’s worth it to see Jesse nearly cry while eating Hanzo’s food. 

Jesse insists on helping with the clean up when they’ve emptied the hot pot and Jesse has gone through three helpings of rice. He apologizes at the sink for eating so much, but Hanzo shushes him immediately. 

“I planned this specifically because there would be so much food,” Hanzo explains. “I would be a terrible host if you went hungry.” 

Jesse bumps his thigh into Hanzo’s hip and shuffles closer, despite the ample space along the sink and countertops. Hanzo’s head barely comes up to the center of Jesse chest when they stand up straight. Hanzo turns his face away from Jesse’s sharp eye, lest he spy the ruddy blush darkening his cheeks. Jesse lifting him up before the meal had been enough to send Hanzo’s blood racing through him like a crazy train. The thought occurs to Hanzo that surely Jesse will want to cuddle while they watch whatever he’d brought. Hanzo fights his blush even harder as Jesse’s voice filters through the lust haze. 

“I think if you offered me more food, I’d probably explode. And there’d be nobody to help clean up, then.” 

Hanzo dumps the last rinsed dish in the dishwasher and shrugs. “I suppose I can eat all the mochi by myself…” 

Jesse leans heavily on Hanzo’s side, nearly shoving him into the edge of the fridge. 

“Mochi, huh? What’s that?” 

Smirk on his face, Hanzo rests a hand on Jesse’s elbow to put some distance between them. He’d just gotten his blush to calm down, and he doesn’t need another flare-up. Hanzo yanks the fridge door open and slips the plate with mochi on it from the top shelf. The cold air billowing out tells him just how hot his face is. Hanzo sucks in a calming breath and lets the fridge door shut on its own. The treat he’d teased Jesse about wait for the reveal. The mochi are pink and covered in a thin layer of flour, to prevent them from sticking to anything. He presents the dessert to Jesse, who eyes them with curiosity. 

“They are rice cakes, normally made with red bean paste as the filling. But I assumed you would not like that and instead made them with strawberries.” 

Looking to be near tears once again, Jesse lifts a clawed finger to poke at the pink cakes. Hanzo slowly lowers the plate before Jesse has a chance to touch them. 

“Wasn’t there a movie you brought with you for us to watch? We should eat them then.” 

Rather than be crushed by the rejection, Jesse perks right up and nods. 

“Yea, I have the DVDs in my bag. I, uh, brought whiskey too, but I don’t think I should drink that and drive later.” 

Hanzo leads Jesse back to the living room with the plate in hand. His mind ghosts over the whiskey and driving Jesse had mentioned, and he responds without much thought put into his words. He blames it on his near-bursting pride from watching Jesse gorge himself on food he’d made. Hanzo is sure there are other ways to show affection for Jesse, but cooking is the easiest for him to actually follow through on. The gift of food is heavy with meaning, and yet the intent can slip right past. It’s the best way for someone shy and anxious, Hanzo thinks. 

“You may stay here, if you wish to drink tonight.” 

Hanzo makes it to the couch to set down their dessert on the coffee table before he realizes Jesse has stopped following him. Standing straight up again, Hanzo freezes at Jesse’s wide eyes and perky ears. 

“That’s okay?” Jesse asks. “It’d be all right if I stayed over?” 

Alarms cry out in Hanzo’s head immediately. He must have misled Jesse with his wording, misconstrued his intentions. Genji’s playful mention of “putting out” on this fourth date adds to the klaxon going off in Hanzo’s mind. Would Jesse expect them to do anything if he stayed the night? Would he be upset if Hanzo declined? The thought of sharing his bed with Jesse, probably waking up at some point to the wolf’s giant arm around his waist… 

Jesse nods to the couch and says, “The couch looks big enough for me. I’ll take you up on that offer, if you don’t mind?” He smiles playfully and adds, “As long as you don’t give me the scratchy blanket for couch crashers.” 

Shivering, Hanzo fiddles with the front of his t-shirt, squirming while Jesse watches him. The wolf shifts and steps around the couch to stand before Hanzo. A soft grunt gets his attention. Hanzo’s shoulders bunch up around his head as he gazes up. Jesse has that soft smile on his face—the one that pokes a hole in Hanzo’s already perforated confidence. A large finger slides under Hanzo’s chin to keep him from looking away. They stare at one another during the silence, and Jesse’s confidence ties Hanzo’s fragile pieces together, stabilizing him. 

“I won’t try nothin’ funny, darlin’. I’m not some critter that goes bump in the night.” He chuckles at his own joke. Jesse’s face then turns serious as he adds, “You’re safe with me, Hanzo. I promise.” 

As soon as Hanzo gives the slightest nod, Jesse drops his hand and steps back to give him space. The bag Jesse had brought, with booze and movies plenty, had been left on a small table near the front door. Jesse returns with it and offers it to Hanzo. Still a little unsteady, Hanzo takes the bag and flees into the kitchen with it. Thankfully, Jesse doesn't follow. Hanzo takes his moment alone to try and get his heart under control. The whiskey bottles inside the bag gleam like gold, and Hanzo shifts them around to count them. He's of course heard that wolves tolerate alcohol much better than humans—their larger size blessing them with a naturally higher tolerance in the first place—but there are at least three bottles in here. Hanzo closes his eyes against all the lewd, terrible thoughts that batter him like a wave. He fishes out glasses and ice for them while ignoring the cries of his imagination. His own choice of alcohol remains in the fridge, and he grabs it lastly before returning to the living room. 

The couch is wolfmen sized, purchased recently to replace the old couch Hanzo had since he’d moved in. Jesse is probably none the wiser. Genji certainly hadn’t said anything. Jesse sits on the middle cushion, sinking happily into the sofa. His tail wags beside him when Hanzo finally emerges from the kitchen. Jesse’s gaze lands on the glassware with ice chunks already in them, and his face crumples happily. 

“Darlin’, you spoil me rotten.” 

Hanzo lowers his burden to the coffee table and sits beside Jesse. 

“I cannot expect you to drink this at room temperature.” Hanzo grabs a bottle and glass and eyes the wolf. “Would you like to pour for yourself?” 

A grin spreads across Jesse’s muzzle. “Sure thing, sweetheart. Any for you? I had the idea of sharing, but you don't gotta take it.” 

“I have my own,” Hanzo admits with a gesture to his sake. “But I will try it.” 

Jesse nods as he splashes the ice with a few licks of whiskey. He hands that one to Hanzo and pours more generously in the second. 

“Can't guarantee you'll like it straight like this. If you had a Coke or somethin’....” 

Hanzo makes a face at the taste on his tongue. It could definitely do with mixing. The smell had appealed to him before the sip he'd taken, but the taste burns more than he likes. Sake isn't necessarily more palatable than Jesse’s whiskey, but he's much more used to the rice wine. Hanzo replaces the whiskey and ice back on the coffee table and shakes himself. 

“Yes, **something** added to that would be much better. To me.” 

Jesse raises his glass to Hanzo and says, “I'll bring something tastier next time. Maybe tequila is more your taste.” 

Hanzo scoots to the edge of the giant couch for sake and allows himself a small smile while Jesse can't see. Shallow, ceramic cup full to his liking, Hanzo reclines again and savors the first lava burn taste of sake. Jesse shifts beside him and sniffs the air. 

“What are you drinkin’ there, paint thinner?” 

Hanzo smiles over his cup. “I could almost say the same about you. Care to try it?” 

Jesse chuckles, “No thank you,” and leans forward like Hanzo had. 

Whiskey safely on the coffee table, Jesse slaps his hand out for the DVDs in his bag. He rolls forward to lift off from the couch, and Hanzo bobs up on the cushion without Jesse’s weight. Standing beside the coffee table, Jesse holds up three movies. 

“I'll bet you never saw the three, original _Jurassic Park_ movies, have you?” 

Hanzo shakes his head, already warm about the ears and nape of his neck. 

“Well, if you like dinosaurs and the folly of man, boy do I have a trilogy for you.” 

Hanzo gestures carefully to the entertainment center and mumbles, “All yours.” 

Jesse bites back a remark and kneels before the TV. Hanzo rewinds what he'd just said and groans quietly into his cup. Jesse often smiles and laughs at the things he says, especially when there's a double meaning to be heard. Never does Hanzo actually intend the entendre, but entertaining Jesse is worth the slight embarrassment. Jesse’s quick wit and wordplay often leaves Hanzo with his brain running in circles and his eyes narrowed, but Jesse always takes care to explain the humor. Hanzo can admit with another deep drink of sake that he's never known anyone so carefree and patient as Jesse. It warms him along with the alcohol. 

The menu music to the DVD plays as Jesse finally gets things figured out. Remote in hand, the sofa bounces again as Jesse drops his weight back to his spot in the middle. It rocks Hanzo and the sake left in his cup, but it’s low enough to not risk a spill. The back of the couch shifts as Jesse throws his arm along it. Hanzo turns his head away to stare down the length of it, ending at Jesse’s loosely fisted paw. A black sweater covers Jesse’s arm to his elbow, where the sleeves are rolled up. His claws are clipped quite short tonight. Hanzo swallows hard and returns his attention to the TV. The pink mochi catch his attention, and he leans forward to trade sake for the dessert. He offers them to Jesse first before taking one himself. Jesse squeezes the dough ball delicately between his thumb and pointer finger. The claws on that paw are unusually short, too. More sweat collects on the back of Hanzo’s neck as Jesse asks him a question. 

Shivering, Hanzo clears his throat and asks, “My apologies, could you repeat that?” 

Jesse squeezes the mochi again. “How do I eat it? All at once like sushi or…” 

Hanzo shuffles closer until his shoulder is almost tucked under the wolf’s armpit. Jesse doesn’t move to put space between them. Something bubbles in Hanzo’s stomach, but he stomps it down while holding up his mochi. 

“You could eat it all at once, but I have always taken bites.” He does exactly that and reveals the fruit inside. “There is half a strawberry inside, so be careful.” 

Jesse winks at him. “You got it.” 

Hanzo can’t watch Jesse give the little dough ball another friendly squeeze. So he finishes his mochi and turns his eyes down to their drinks. The ice has melted some in Hanzo’s cozy apartment, and it helps to dilute the whiskey. Bravery worms up from the layers of shame and self-doubt inside Hanzo and urges him to take a sip of Jesse’s drink. It might be more to his liking now, bravery whispers softly to him. Jesse groans through a mouthful of rice cake and strawberry. Hanzo glances at him from the corner of his eye and gives in to temptation. Sitting with his back flush to the couch puts the edge of the cushion at calf level on him. Hanzo kicks his legs up to scoot himself forward. Jesse’s whiskey in hand, Hanzo swirls the liquor and water around to mix it better. A sip reveals it is a bit better watered down, but still not as pleasant as sake. Hanzo sniffs to clear his nose and catches Jesse smiling at him with flour on his lips. Keeping a straight face by some miracle, Hanzo lifts an eyebrow and offers the glass back to Jesse.

“Thank you, darlin’.” Jesse knocks the rest of the amber liquid back and makes a face when he takes his next breath. “Let’s get this thing started!” 

When the movie begins, Hanzo takes the opportunity during their shuffling about to lean firmly against Jesse. If he were to turn his head just so, it would rest upon Jesse’s chest. The little worm of bravery burrows back into the shame inside him, though, and Hanzo discards that idea with a frown. His sake grows warmer in his hands as he clutches the ceramic cup, trying to decide his course of action. There are so few risks in being a coward and yet no reward. He wants to lean on Jesse and to have Jesse hold him close or maybe stroke his hair. His stomach rebels at the idea of asking for such things. Hanzo swallows a bit more sake than he should this early in the night, but it’s all he can do to not tense up and alert Jesse to his strife. 

Jesse refills the two glasses with whiskey around the time Dr. Sattler and Dr. Grant land on Isla Nublar. He offers one to Hanzo with an open smile, prepared for rejection. Hanzo glances to the sake cup he'd emptied during the opening sequence and trades it for the glass tumbler. Jesse’s eyes wrinkle at the corners while they hand glasses off. And if the soft tips of his pads brush Hanzo’s fingers as they exchange cups, neither mentions it. Hanzo certainly doesn't mention how the brief touch piles on fuel to the fire already heating up his face and chest. Hopefully his dark t-shirt will hide any sweat spots that pop up. 

Sipping mindlessly while watching the plot thicken, Hanzo empties the glass around the time the tour group enters the Tyrannosaurs Rex paddock. Hanzo slouches and chuckles at the friendly banter between Malcolm and Dr. Sattler. Jesse shifts against his side, nudging him to sit up straight. Hanzo blinks through a tipsy haze and stares at the empty glass in his hand. He should take a break before he ends up face first in the toilet. Using his other hand to steady himself on the couch, Hanzo cranes his arm to dump his glass back on the coffee table. Jesse chuckles beside him, but Hanzo can't sacrifice even a sliver of his attention to see why. He might topple over if he looks away from the coffee table. The tumbler makes a satisfying thump when he finally stretches out enough to abandon it. He doesn't immediately relax back into the couch, though. Attention free to wander, Hanzo eyes the empty space between Jesse’s legs as things turn foul in the film and Nedry makes his escape. 

Sweat beads along Hanzo’s hairline as he considers how easy it would be to sit up and fall into Jesse’s lap. Not for anything nefarious of course. But while his chest and face are hot to the touch, the rest of him buzzes with chill. It had been warmer earlier, enough to help melt the ice. He wonders how easily he's developed a chill in his lower extremities. Touching Jesse casually had come easily by the second and third date. And yet here Hanzo sits, sweating through his t-shirt at the thought of gathering enough courage to sit in the wolf’s lap. Jesse takes that moment to lean forward in order to make eye contact. Concern blooms on his face between his eyebrows, where they furrow in the middle. Jesse lifts his arm off the back of the couch to squeeze Hanzo’s far shoulder. 

“All right, sweetheart?” 

Hanzo’s gaze falls to Jesse’s lap again as he grunts. He isn't sure if the grunt comes out as a “yes” or “no,” but it's better than giving the wolf silence. Jesse’s worried frown persists, despite Hanzo’s attempt to assuage him. Grumbling and full of courage, Hanzo squirms from under Jesse’s hulking paw. With his back to Jesse, Hanzo shuffles the few steps it takes until he's in front of Jesse’s legs. A glance over his shoulder confirms that the wolf is watching him, still concerned but also curious, now. Slowly, to not hurt either of them, Hanzo shakily lowers himself until Jesse’s thighs hug his ass. Hanzo bites back a frown as Jesse flinches and scrambles on the couch to make room. He's about to rocket up and lock himself in the bathroom when Jesse's powerful arms slither out and trap him around his stomach. Jesse anchors them together and rubs his muzzle happily along Hanzo’s buzzed undercut. Hanzo arches and wiggles until Jesse’s chest is flush with his back.

Jesse’s paws are heavy on his lower stomach when he murmurs in Hanzo’s ear, “Is this why you been so tense and quiet? You wanted to cuddle?” 

Hanzo hunches his shoulders around his ears as best he can. It's difficult with the wolf’s chin craned around his shoulder. Jesse’s rough nose brushes along his jaw, and Hanzo turns his head away so Jesse can't see how red he is. Jesse chuckles under his breath and shifts until they're both relaxed and reclined. His paws don't move from holding Hanzo around his stomach, and the lingering, purposeful touch makes his insides jump. This is just like ice skating with Jesse or huddling close during the light show, but so much better. Jesse is solid and warm along his back, and although Hanzo knows Jesse would let him up if he asked, Jesse’s hold on him is firm and comforting. 

Jesse hums in his ear and adds, “All you have to do is ask, Hanzo. I'll do whatever you want.” 

There's a promise beneath the surface of Jesse’s simple words. Hanzo sucks in a shallow breath. Jesse’s paws shift as he breathes, and Hanzo reaches down to cover the furry backs of them. Hanzo sighs and shakes his head slightly in reference to Jesse’s comment. 

“I cannot,” he admits with a tiny slur in his pronunciation. There’s shame lurking on the end of his admittance, but he hopes Jesse can't hear it. 

The snuffling returns to the side of his head as Jesse nuzzles him. 

“I'll pay closer attention from now on, then. Until you can ask, anyway.” There's a smile against the side of his head as Jesse adds, “We’ll work on it.” 

Hanzo says nothing to that, too caught up in the buzzing along his skin where only clothes separate them. Jesse curls around him as they continue watching the movie. His fur warms Hanzo and protects him from losing that heat. It’s free of dirt and product, only carrying what must be a distinctly “Jesse” scent. Hanzo appreciates the lack of floral or musky perfumes. Every time Jesse breathes, the roar of air rushing past his nose lulls Hanzo to relax even more. Normally, he can’t relax around people like this, never actually **wants** to be close like this. He's never felt this twisting, desperate need for physical contact before. With a pout, Hanzo blames it on the alcohol. He hopes it's just the alcohol. He isn't sure what he’ll do if, once sober, this ravenous need to touch isn't because of the liquid courage. Hanzo worries something has changed in him, and he'll be ruined like this forever. 

His mood dips south at that moment, and he closes his eyes while burrowing deeper against Jesse’s barrel chest and soft stomach. A sniff rings in his ear, and Jesse’s arms tighten around him. Drawing his legs to curl on the couch, Jesse nearly completes his transformation from wolf to octopus. Hanzo wishes he could smile at all the fur and warmth wrapped around him, but the melancholy spreads far and wide in his stomach. Jesse whines at him, but all Hanzo can do is pat the wolf’s paws and close his eyes. When Hanzo opens them again, velociraptors have lured Robert Muldoon into a trap and claim another meal. He blinks at how much time and plot have passed, and a quick glance behind him tells him that Jesse is still wide-awake, if not mostly sober. 

Hanzo’s stomach flips at that moment, and it has nothing to do with his attraction to Jesse. 

Tensing up, Hanzo picks Jesse's paws off and nearly trips face first into the coffee table in his haste to make for the restroom. The whiskey is attempting to make a comeback, and he refuses to chunder all over his clean floor. The bathroom door slams behind him and hopefully dulls any noise from reaching Jesse. Hanzo can certainly hear his whines of concern and calls of his name, even over his body heaving. His aim is unfortunately sloppy, though, and not all of the whiskey makes it to the toilet. Hanzo groans at the awful condition his clothes are in and rests his head against the sink vanity beside him. Jesse paws at the door and calls his name again. He’ll need a towel, if not a new set of jeans and a shirt. 

Hanzo wipes his mouth with a grimace and yells towards the door, “Go into my room and get a clean shirt and sweatpants from the wardrobe for me. Please.” 

“You got it, darlin’,” bubbles through the space between the door and floor. 

The soft thump of Jesse’s feet crosses the hallway, and Hanzo listens for the opening of doors. His bedroom door is first, followed by the wardrobe. Hanzo grunts as another wave of nausea tries to seize him. His head swims, but he wants to keep track of Jesse's progress, even if he only has audial clues. There's only silence from his bedroom. Frowning, Hanzo attempts to sit up and open the door. He doesn't get far before the room spins dangerously and he has to stop. Jesse coughs in his bedroom and shuts the wardrobe, only to open it again, this time with a squeaky hinge. Hanzo’s mind chases its tail as he tries to puzzle out why it didn't squeak the first time. The wardrobe with his clothes in it always squeaks, and he's been meaning to spray the hinge with— 

His mind hits a brick wall. He hadn't specified which wardrobe to open. And the one flush against the wall at the end of his bed… Piled on its shelves are only items of Hanzo’s deepest shame, never meant to be seen by anyone else. Jesse must have coughed to cover up his disgust at finding Hanzo’s dirty, well-endowed secrets. Hanzo bends back to the toilet as a new wave of sickness bowls over him like a tsunami. Everything had been going so well. Jesse is sweet on him and endlessly patient. The three dates up until now have made Hanzo happier than he's ever been in his adult life. The poor man pinches his eyes shut as he imagines all that disappearing, and Jesse leaving with a promise to text or call, but then never following through. Thoughts racing and wrapping tightly around his head, Hanzo doesn't hear the gentle knock on the door before Jesse cracks it open.

Thanks to his fur, there's no blush evident on Jesse’s face. Much of his fur does stand on end, though, and his eyes dodge from looking at Hanzo straight on. He offers a clean shirt and the sweatpants as requested, but he lingers in the slight opening during the silence. Hanzo clutches his clothes with a shaking hand and can't bring himself to look at Jesse, either. The rush of their breathing fills the bathroom awkwardly. Jesse shuffles from foot to foot on the other side before finally speaking. Hanzo braces himself for their final goodbye, cold with vomit on his shirt. 

“I'll, um, I'll be here if you need me. Okay?” 

Hanzo leans forward to push the door shut. Jesse let's him with a soft whine. As a second thought, Hanzo stabs at the little nub beside the handle that locks the door. It gets another whine out of Jesse and more shuffling outside the door. Red fur pokes through the gap between the door and floor, but Hanzo turns away numbly rather than figure it out. His legs tremble as he stands, but he forces himself up to stagger towards the shower. Perhaps the rushing water will cover up his pitiful sniffling as he seals all his burgeoning feelings for Jesse away. Surely, he'll be gone when Hanzo finishes. There's no way he'd actually stay, now knowing the kind of man Hanzo is. The spray burns him, but it's better than dealing with the ache in his stomach and the thundering behind his eyes. Washing is a mechanical, forgetful process, and Hanzo soon steps out into the fog of the bathroom. He grimaces while closing the toilet lid and giving it a flush. With clothes sticking to his damp skin, Hanzo opens the bathroom door, ready for an empty apartment. 

Instead, Jesse’s curled up form on the floor blocks his path. It explains the fur slipping through the gap. Hanzo winces at this comparison, but Jesse’s sad moping reminds him of pets waiting for their family to come home. Hanzo attempts to step over Jesse, but the wolf stirs immediately and catches him. Ears back and big eyes staring up at him, Jesse lifts a paw to touch his shin. When Hanzo doesn't kick him away, Jesse sits up on his rear and caresses the back of his hand. It just makes the inevitable loss all the more painful, and Hanzo turns to enter his room before anything else can happen. He expects yelling, or questions, or maybe crying. He doesn't expect Jesse to follow with his tail literally tucked between his legs. The deep ache widens a bit in the pit of Hanzo’s stomach as he watches Jesse shuffles into the room. The bed dips under Hanzo has he falls onto it, empty and hollow. 

“I'm so sorry, Hanzo,” Jesse murmurs with his fingers twisted together. “I didn't mean to go snoopin’ around your things. Honest, I only came in to find what you asked.” Jesse shoves his paws in his pockets, to try and stop fiddling with them, but he almost immediately goes back to twisting and picking at his claws. “I know you're a very private man, sugar, and I would never violate your trust like that. I'm just…so sorry, Hanzo—” 

He pauses when Hanzo holds up a hand. Something isn't quite right. 

“I am...incredibly upset.” Hanzo takes in a breath to steady himself. “But not at you.” 

Jesse’s head tilts to the side as he blinks at Hanzo. His ears have come up a bit, and his tail regains some of its normal fluff. Hanzo drops his head into his hands and sighs to the carpet under his feet. Jesse’s socked feet come into view, but he doesn’t touch Hanzo. Jesse’s knees buckle, and he plops on the floor without a sound. Hanzo clenches his eyes shut at the first whine from Jesse. It’s already over, isn’t it? And yet Hanzo struggles to tell Jesse the truth. He must, though, or Jesse will continue to think himself guilty. Sighing, Hanzo lifts his head from its hiding place and watches Jesse with heavy eyes. 

“I had hoped you would never find the contents of that particular wardrobe. It is...my greatest shame.” 

Jesse’s head turns slowly so that he can glance at the closet in particular. 

“Darlin’... Ain’t nothing wrong with a couple of sex toys. I mean—” 

“Did you happen to notice a common **theme** amongst them?” Hanzo fires back heatedly. He won’t allow Jesse to excuse this betrayal. 

Frowning, Jesse shakes his head. “I mean, they were all pretty big, sure, but…” 

Of course this couldn’t be easy. A ragged sigh slips from Hanzo’s lips and he grumbles, “They are all supposed to be recreations of wolfmen...endowments.” 

A pause. 

“Huh. Didn’t know a thing like that existed, but whatever floats your boat—” 

Lips twisted in a snarl, Hanzo forces the sides of his fists into the mattress under him in a few, lightning-fast jabs. Jesse doesn’t even flinch, just watches him with a deepening frown. 

“Hanzo, darlin’, it’s really not a big deal…” 

Shaking his head, Hanzo thunders back, “When I have reduced an entire group of people into a sexual act, I do believe that is a ‘big deal,’ Jesse McCree.” 

Reeling back some, Jesse’s hands fly up in front of him as a peace offering. 

“Woah, darlin’, slow down. What makes you think you gone and, what is it, fetishized us?” 

Defeated, Hanzo’s shoulders drop. The end is near. “You and others like you are only a sexual curiosity to me.” He never could confess to being brave and so turns his head away like a coward. “I have misled you, and for that I am deeply sorry.” 

Jesse huffs. “I don’t believe that bullshit for one second.” 

It takes Hanzo’s miserable and mourning brain a moment to catch what Jesse had said. He discards his cowardice long enough to give Jesse his full attention. An angry frown turns Jesse’s lips down, and his arms cross tightly over his chest. His glare, full of sadness and outrage, burns a hole in the floor by Hanzo’s feet. Jesse glances up at him with those golden eyes, and Hanzo aches to think he may never see them again. Jesse’s face softens a bit, and he scoots forward until his chin is almost touching Hanzo’s knee. 

“If that were true, then any wolf at that speed date woulda done you fine. But you didn’t like them all that much, did you?” 

Frowning in disgust, Hanzo shakes his head. Certainly not, especially not the younger ones. They’d repulsed him on every level. 

Jesse’s words vibrate against the worn material of Hanzo’s sweatpants. “And me, do you just see me as some wild animal? Waiting to pounce on you and tear you apart?” 

“Never,” Hanzo admits with a subtle tremble in his voice. 

Biting back a smile with a full body huff, Jesse finally perches his chin on Hanzo’s knee like he’d probably wanted to to from the beginning. “And when you think about us, about me, do you use demeaning words? You call us beasts? Wild animals?” 

Hanzo shakes his head and recalls the words he’d used for Jesse: patient, affectionate, beautiful, and so many other things. 

Jesse nuzzles the round jut of Hanzo’s knee. “See? You like me for me, not because of what I am. You’re not some, uh, wolf chaser. Howler.” 

“Furry,” Hanzo mumbles. 

“Yea, that,” Jesse says with a dramatic roll of his eyes. “That’s not you.” Jesse pauses his affectionate nuzzling as a thought mars his pretty face, drawing his lips down again. “Did you think I was gonna break up with you or somethin’?” 

“The thought had crossed my mind, yes.” 

Jesse shakes his head against Hanzo’s knee and whispers sweet nothings to him. Hanzo lifts his hands to touch Jesse’s hair, but he loses the confidence at the last second. The boxes full of his calendars and posters sit in the corner of the room, watching him menacingly. Biting his lower lip, Hanzo scoots out from in front of Jesse and pads swiftly to the boxes. Kneeling, he throws one open and dumps its contents onto the floor. Jesse eyes the flowing paper before glancing at Hanzo, full of curiosity and skepticism. Hanzo sighs and turns his eyes down to the many images of wolfmen staring up at him. 

“Do you still think that?” 

Jesse crawls on all fours to the pile and spreads it around a bit. It gives him a better opportunity to see everything Hanzo had tried to hide. Jesse chuckles at a few of them before piling the papers back towards the sideways box. He falls back on his ass again with his long legs stretched towards Hanzo’s huddled form. 

“Hardly any of these are sexual, I’d like to point out.” Jesse nods to the pile. “Now yea, the pin-up calendars I can’t defend those, but who doesn’t have a sexy calendar or two?” 

Hanzo opens his mouth to object, to point out he has at least three from every year for the past five years or so, but Jesse stops him with a raised hand. 

“I don’t care how many you have or how you come by them. Any sexy calendar is gonna objectify the people in them. They don’t count.” 

Jesse leans forward to point to a poster near the top of the pile. “Some of these are actually cultural posters, like the ones in the gift shop where we went on our third date. Come to think of it”— Jesse scratches at his fluffy cheek—”I was wondering why you spent so long flicking through the posters. Guess I know why, now.” 

“How can you tolerate this?” Hanzo bursts out at last. “Even if you have convinced yourself that I am not a monster, then how can you excuse the secrets? The, the subterfuge?” 

“I mean, I kinda get it. You’d have to explain all this as soon as I walked in.” Jesse rubs the back of his neck, eyes still on Hanzo’s quivering form. “But I wouldn’t have cared. I don’t care now.” 

“You must!” 

Sighing, Jesse crawls forward, over the pile of paper, to reach Hanzo. Hanzo doesn’t struggle as Jesse leans on him and holds him tightly to his chest. They kneel over Hanzo’s spilled secret as Jesse strokes his still damp hair and breathes in his ear. 

“Hanzo, darlin’, my opinion of you hasn’t changed a bit. I learned something about you tonight, but as far as my feelings go? You’re still my little storm cloud.” 

Hanzo butts his forehead into Jesse’s chest. Not hard enough to hurt, but enough to make him stop talking. 

“You and pet names,” Hanzo muffles into his fur. 

“One of my shortcomings, or so I’m told.” Jesse holds him tighter. There’s no room separating them from their hips to their shoulders. “And I know nothin’ I’m saying will change how you feel over night. I know that. But I need you to know that I’m not ashamed of this. I’m not...disgusted, none of that.” Clipped claws cradle the back of Hanzo’s head. “I like you just the way you are.” 

Hanzo has lived with his shame for too long to shed tears over it. But he’s thankful for Jesse’s fur hiding his face. He shudders in Jesse’s tight arms and leans all his weight on the wolf. Jesse takes it without comment or complaint, content to nuzzle Hanzo’s hair and breathe him in. Eyes fighting to stay open, Hanzo worms his arms between him and Jesse to push them apart. Jesse lets him go, but not far enough for him to stand. Hanzo gazes up at him with heavy eyes again, but they drop with exhaustion instead of dread. Jesse sniffs hard and bends down for a quick rub of their cheeks together. Hanzo’s fingers twitch in Jesse’s fur, but he doesn’t resist the affection otherwise. Cuddling done, Jesse reassumes their boundaries and waits for Hanzo to speak. 

“I am,” Hanzo whispers, “more tired than I have ever been.” 

For the first time in what must be hours, a giant grin splits Jesse’s face. It’s a welcome, familiar sight. 

“To bed with you, sugar.” 

Jesse loops his arms back around Hanzo’s chest and hauls them from the floor. Hanzo grunts as Jesse doesn’t quite carry him to the short distance to the bed. Jesse sets him down with care, but they muss the sheets as Hanzo’s legs drag up the bed. Hanzo kicks at them, but with a chuckle from Jesse and a soft hand, he stills Hanzo’s movements and rights the sheets and covers. Jesse urges Hanzo onto his side before dragging the thick comforter up. Hanzo shifts to roll onto his back, but Jesse stops him. 

“Please sleep on your side. If you’re gonna be sick again—” 

“I won’t,” Hanzo murmurs. 

“But if you are,” Jesse picks his points back up with a smile, “you’ll be on your side and not choke.” 

Hanzo watches him with watery, shaky eyes. He sighs and nods, submitting to Jesse’s softly posed request. It’s easy to let his eyes slip shut with warmth surrounding him. It isn’t nearly as pleasant as Jesse’s body, but it will do. The idea of offering Jesse the space beside him gives him doubts about holding anything left in his stomach down. Another time, sure, but not on this emotional night. For now, Hanzo craves Jesse’s patience above everything else. He sighs in Jesse’s shadow as the wolf lingers for a moment. Nervous energy seeks the muscles in Jesse’s legs, and he shuffles from foot to foot. Hanzo cracks open an eye to watch him. 

“Hanzo,” he begins with shyness muffling his normally deep voice. He avoids Hanzo’s single, open eye for a few seconds, but their gazes find one another in the end. 

Jesse swallows hard. 

“I’ll be on the couch if you need me. I won’t, uh… I won’t stay unless you—” 

“No,” Hanzo mumbles under the edge of his blanket. “I don't want you to go home tonight.” 

Jesse lets out a huge gust of air. His shoulders collapses—free of their weight by Jesse’s words—and he groans to the floor. It’s the happy sort of groan, like sitting down after a hard day of cleaning. Hanzo lets his eye slip shut again. The little uptick at the corners of his lips are seen by no one and only felt by him. Jesse’s shadow falls over him again, but this time Hanzo doesn’t open his eyes. A cold nose brushes his forehead, followed by a soft kiss. Jesse’s fingers brush stray hairs away from the clingy, buzzed hairs of his undercut, sweeping the length all to one side. Hanzo squirms deeper into his blanket and sighs as Jesse leaves. The wolf plunges him into darkness with a silent flick of the light switch. 

“Good night, darlin’. Sleep well.” 

The door shuts behind Jesse before Hanzo offers a reply.  
  
“You as well, Jesse.” 


	3. Rough Housing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No smut yet lol. But IMMEDIATELY at the start of chapter four? Get ready for some giant, dildo-y action. Mmmm yes. My favorite kind of dildo-y action. There will be a delay in posting chapter four UNTIL I finish chapter five, however. Luckily, this isn't a plot dependent fic, so it can end at any time lol. Fingers crossed I can get through their cute date at the start of five and get to the diCKS. Anyway, comment, fav, whatever~ Give my other two fics a shot if you're into nasty ships lol.

Reluctantly, Hanzo stirs awake sometime deep into the night. A bleary-eyed glare at the radio on his nightstand reveals the time: 4:04 AM. He desperately needs water and to use the restroom, although thankfully not for a repeat of his earlier performance. The covers tangle around Hanzo's legs as he tries to escape. He narrowly stops himself from tumbling to the floor in a pile. His legs come free after some creative wiggling and kicking, but his struggle is far from over. Hanzo navigates the rest of his room, the hallway, and the bathroom in darkness. It's easier to sit than to stand and pee, so he holds his head while relieving himself. Through the hammering in his head, it takes him awhile to sniff out the cleaning products used a few hours ago. He sits up and peers through the dark. Jesse had cleaned up after him at some point. Hanzo sighs into his hands and wonders how long that had taken, when Jesse had decided to leave. 

Hanzo finds the strength to stand again after digging deeply to find it. Everything aches, but nothing more so than his stomach. Groaning softly, Hanzo staggers and bumps his way down the hallway like a drunk bee. All is quiet, even the slumbering wolf spread out messily on his couch. Hanzo stares at Jesse until he's sure the wolf isn't a phantom. He'd stayed. Jesse had found a blanket somewhere, and it hangs off him to leave his peaceful face exposed. He doesn't even snore. Hanzo passes him on the way to the kitchen, trying with all his control not to reach out and touch Jesse as he goes. The light from the fridge blinds him while he gropes for a water bottle. Plunged into darkness again, Hanzo gulps half the water before taking a breath. The counter under his free hand is clear of dishes. A quick check of the dishwasher reveals it too is empty. Hanzo’s gaze finds Jesse’s fluffy form in the dark, and he stares at the twitching wolf with something heavy and warm blooming in his aching stomach. 

A swell of emotion from that blossom rushes up the back of Hanzo’s throat.  He covers his mouth with a hand to smother any sounds that slip out. His breath hitches as he watches Jesse continue to sleep unawares of his audience. The wolf mumbles something and tries to flip over, but he only ends up with a leg spilling off the edge of the couch. Jesse shoves his face against the couch cushion as he settles on his stomach. The blanket is truly lost now, most of it hanging below his stuck out leg and pooling on the floor. Hanzo steps around the couch on his tiptoes to right this terrible wrong.  He keeps a sharp eye on Jesse as he approaches, not wanting to spook the wolf and get either of them injured. 

Silently stepping as close as he can, Hanzo strains to reach the corner of the blanket nearest to him. The worry that Jesse will smell him and wake up is the only thing that stops Hanzo from leaning closer. Hanzo stifles his breath while his eyes flinch back and forth between Jesse’s face and the blanket. His fingertips barely miss it. Stretching harder, Hanzo swats at the pesky blanket until finally he catches some fibers on his nails. With it in hand, the thought occurs to him that he could have used a foot to drag the damn thing closer. Sighing, Hanzo tucks the blanket around Jesse’s back and side, to keep the heat in and cold out. Jesse shuffles when Hanzo’s fingers graze his sides, but he doesn’t awaken. Good deed done, Hanzo takes a step back to watch for a bit longer. Jesse tucks his legs up as best he can on the couch, and Hanzo imagines him curling up in a ball if he had the space. 

Hanzo bends down to quickly kiss the space between Jesse’s ears. They flick his cheeks as he retreats, but still Jesse sleeps. Overcome with a renewed surge of **something** for this man, Hanzo covers his mouth once again. 

His palm catches the words, “I think I love you,” before he twists away and flees back to his bedroom. Much like Jesse had, Hanzo buries his face in a pillow and yanks the covers over his head. Sleep doesn’t return quickly, but he drifts off before sunrise, wishing a chest full of fur were beneath him instead of clean sheets. 

The next thing that stirs Hanzo back to the waking word isn’t a bodily need, but a smell. The scents of sizzling butter and bacon ooze from under his door to fill the room. Hanzo pokes his head out from the covers to blink around the room. His curtains keep much of the light out, but it bleeds around the edges. His radio helpfully points out that it’s now 9:16 AM. He’d managed a few more hours of sleep. Head still throbbing, Hanzo clasps the edges of his blanket and drags it from the bed while he investigates the smell. He dimly remembers seeing Jesse on the couch in the hours just before dawn. So unless Genji broke in again—which Hanzo wouldn’t put past him—Jesse must be the one in the kitchen. 

Hanzo comes to a stop at the far side of the couch to watch Jesse hum and cook. His clothes from last night have disappeared. Jesse dances in front of the stove in his boxers and an apron he’d snatched from the back of a chair. It doesn’t fit him at all. He bounces from foot to foot while bacon spits in a pan. Hanzo clutches his blanket tighter and considers maybe hiding in his bedroom. Jesse’s humming cuts off as an ear flicks in Hanzo’s direction. Jesse cranes his head around and flashes him a bright smile. He chuckles through his teeth while eyeing Hanzo up and down. 

“You look cute like that, sugar. All wrapped up like a present.” 

Grumbling under his breath, Hanzo shuffles to the edge of the couch and collapses on it. Some fur shed by his boyfriend comes loose and sticks to him immediately. Hanzo just burrows deeper into the blanket. The sofa is wide enough for him to curl up on it like a cat. He kicks and struggles until the covers are cocooned around his naked feet. Sheltered from the chill of the living room, Hanzo sighs and listens to the music of Jesse cooking. Dishes clink together under the noisy sizzle of bacon, and lying under all that is Jesse’s deep humming. It's not anything Hanzo recognizes, but it's pleasant to his headache. Hanzo curls up tighter to fight the cold. He jumps when a plate thunks softly on the coffee table. He opens his eyes to the sight of fur and an ill-fitting apron. 

“Got some painkillers for you along with some water.” Jesse squats down to get a closer look at him. “How you feein’?” 

“Exhausted. In every sense of the word,” Hanzo admits. 

Jesse nods without a smile. He lifts a paw to touch him, but drops it before he gets very far. 

“I'll skidaddle soon. Just wanted to make sure you had food and water in you, first.” 

Hanzo wiggles his head to escape some of the blanket. 

“You don't have to leave…” 

That gets him a smile. “No, but I wanna give you space. You're probably still pretty upset.” 

Hanzo doesn't fight that. He doesn't know how long it will take to get over last night. 

“But anyway,” Jesse sighs as he forces himself back to his full height. “I’ll call or swing by tomorrow or the day after. I wanted to talk to you about New Year’s Eve, see what you were up to.” 

“Nothing,” Hanzo mumbles, eyeing the food. “What about Christmas?” 

Jesse sniffs and grins down at him. “I mean, I got you somethin’, but I won’t be here. Visiting family back home. Throwin’ a New Year party, though. I thought maybe…” Jesse pauses to let his gaze fall over Hanzo’s huddled form. The cursed, soft smile bends his lips like Hanzo both loves and hates. “I thought maybe I could introduce you to my friends. They’re like my family away from family, if that makes sense.” 

He wants to do this for Jesse, simply so that their relationship doesn’t have to be separate from his friendships. However, the thought of spending hours amongst strangers in a new place, with all of them talking over each other, and bumping shoulders or touching them… Hanzo slips into his cocoon until only his nose and up are visible. Familial obligations are a thing he’d left behind in Japan. Genji knows better than to ask him for things like this, simply because they both know he can say no to Genji without much thought. Jesse though… 

Glancing away, Hanzo mumbles through the blanket, “I will think about it.” 

“Thank you, Hanzo,” Jesse rumbles while leaning down again. He nuzzles the bit of Hanzo’s loose hair that peeks out of the blanket cocoon. “Please eat eventually. Even just a little bit. I’ll see you soon.” 

Without fanfare, Jesse collects his things and redresses in yesterday’s clothes. Hanzo snakes out a hank to steal the bacon, leaving two eggs on the plate. He probably won’t eat those, even though he wants to. Bacon nibbled to nothing, Hanzo swipes the water and painkillers next and knocks them back with a grimace. All this moving around adds bass to the throbbing behind his eyes. Groaning, Hanzo twists around until his face is flush with a throw pillow that might smell like Jesse. Silence descends upon Hanzo, and for a moment he forgets that Jesse is still here. A paw lightly petting his hair reminds him. Hanzo mentally pats himself on the back for not flinching. 

“Take it easy, sweetheart. I’ll see you soon.” 

Hanzo clenches his eyes until sparks of white flare up behind his eyelids. Jesse’s fingers tangle in his hair for a few seconds longer before the touch slips away. Dread yanks Hanzo’s stomach out through his navel; dread that Jesse is leaving forever. Doubts on whether Jesse actually accepts him still plague Hanzo, and he knows they’ll hound him for many nights to come. Jesse slips on his shoes near the front door and pockets his keys. They rattle like shards of glass against each other. Heart about to burst in his chest, Hanzo shoves himself onto his knees so that he can see Jesse over the back of the couch. The wolf pauses where he’s bent over, fixing the tongue on one of his shoes. 

“I…” Hanzo begins without really thinking about what to say. 

Jesse blinks at him with all his clothes reassembled, his things gather. He’s leaving. 

“I am…” 

Normally, Hanzo would bark at anyone who makes it farther than the foyer in their shoes. But for Jesse, he makes an exception. The wolf dumps his bag carefully next to the few pair of shoes Hanzo has by the door. He makes his way back to the couch, towering above Hanzo. It isn’t meant to be intimidating, but Hanzo’s shoulders slide down regardless. Jesse’ big paws grab the back of the couch as he cranes down to rub their cheeks together. The rumble from Jesse’s chest snakes up his body and tickles where they touch. They keep their hands on the back of the couch, but Hanzo wishes with all his heart that Jesse would hold him again. 

“It’s gonna be all right, Hanzo,” Jesse assures him. “Whatever doubts you have, whatever you’re afraid of…” Jesse pulls back far enough to bump their noses together. “It’ll be okay.” 

“But how do you know?” The words surge out of Hanzo, crumbling and breaking at the ends. 

Jesse shrugs with a little waggle of his head. “I just **believe** it’ll be all right. You like me enough to try and get past this, yea?” 

Hanzo’s stomach flips as if he’s searching for a stair with his foot but can’t seem to find it. He blinks and squirms under Jesse’s hopeful gaze, but in the end he nods. 

“I am invested in you, yes…” 

Nuzzling the top of his head, Jesse mumbles into his hair, “Then it’ll be all right. We’ll look back on this someday and laugh. Well, I’ll laugh.” 

Humming, Hanzo bumps his forehead on Jesse’s covered collarbones. He feels another nap coming on, exhausted by this brief period of socializing. His bed calls to him. 

“Go shower,” Jesse insists. “Or sit out here and watch TV, something. Just don’t sit here alone in the silence.” 

“I enjoy silence,” Hanzo mumbles against Jesse’s shirt. 

“Then have something on for me. Pretend I’m here, and I’m the one watching TV. I just don’t want you to get caught up in all this and stew in it. Okay?” 

Jesse pushes him back by the shoulder so that they can look at each other. Hanzo holds his boyfriend’s gaze for a matter of seconds before staring intently at his chest. Jesse chuckles above him and curls down to kiss the top of his head. Hanzo’s eyes slip shut at that, and his knot-tied stomach relaxes moderately. Moment over, Jesse’s paws slip from his shoulders, and he wanders back to the front door. Hanzo’s body sags to see him go, but the separation might do him some good. He can clean house a little bit, work through this **his** way. Which will involve literally cleaning house and throwing away some of the posters and calendars. It will help him in the long run to not be surrounded by his obsession. And if Jesse asks the next time he’s here, then Hanzo will tell him the truth. He never wants to withhold from Jesse ever again. 

“I’ll text you later to see if you’re in the mood for a phone call or a visit from me,” Jesse reminds him as he swings his bag over one shoulder. “We can talk about the New Year’s Eve party, too.” 

Hanzo nods and stares at the front door long after Jesse locks it from the inside and steps through. He needs to drink more water, clean up breakfast, and shower before the healing can truly begin. With a groan, Hanzo unravels the remainder of his cocoon and deals with the first task of clearings his plate. He tries not to feel bad about throwing the eggs away, since he’s already preoccupied with **other** guilts at the moment. Jesse had already rinsed the things he’d used and loaded them in the dishwasher, waiting for the cycle to start. Hanzo adds his dishes to the pile and bypasses the start delay timer, initiating the wash cycle immediately. Blood pumping from just the short distance between the couch and kitchen, Hanzo swipes the water Jesse had given him and makes for the bathroom. A hot shower will do him good. 

- 

The party begins at 8, and yet Hanzo arrives on Jesse’s porch at 7:45. He couldn’t stand to wait any longer, pacing his living room like a madman. The mochi he’d made sit cradled in a cloth napkin peppered with flour. He’d had the thought to put said napkin in a plastic container to make sure they made it. It’s perhaps his ulterior motive to showing up early, so he can share them with only Jesse. He certainly hadn’t made more than two. Jesse shows up at the front door shortly after Hanzo had rung the bell. His furry face pinches in confusion until he process that it’s Hanzo standing there. 

“You’re early!” Jesse says while grabbing Hanzo by the hips and dragging him inside. Door shut, Jesse crowds him against it and nuzzles his hair. “Wanted me all to yourself for a little bit, huh?” 

“Mmm, something like that.” Hanzo nudges him away and holds the mochi between them, to keep Jesse still. “I usually make these for Genji and I on New Year’s Eve. It is a holdover from our life back home...” 

Jesse reluctantly removes his grabby paws from Hanzo’s hips to take the plastic container. A glance at Hanzo confirms he can open it, and Jesse grins at the pink rice cakes when he at last reveals them. 

“You spoil me.” 

Replacing the lid on the container, Jesse bows his head to bury it in the opening of Hanzo’s coat. Hanzo grunts as Jesse’s enthusiasm has his back find the surface of the door again. The wolf seems content at digging through Hanzo’s coat with his head to snuffle against his chest. Throwing his eyes skyward, Hanzo buries his hands in the fur surrounding Jesse’ ears. He finds the little, round things and rubs them between his fingers. Jesse rears back with his mouth open, ready for a play fight, and gives Hanzo the space he’d not so subtly requested. 

“You know that tickles,” Jesse mumbles with a pout. 

“Exactly.” 

Jesse turns away in a faux-sulk and stomps away. Removing his coat and folding it over an arm, Hanzo toes off his shoes and places them out of the way, beside a potted plant. He stares at it for a moment, trying to determine if it’s real or not without touching it. Jesse calls him from deeper in the house, though, and Hanzo leaves the foyer behind. Everything in the house is large, just like Hanzo had suspected. It all fits wolfmen bodies are their heights, or course. As Hanzo wanders through Jesse’s home for the first time, he’s struck with a nostalgic flush of wonder. He recalls a time from his and Genji’s childhood, when their parents took them to an amusement park for the first time. Everything had dwarfed them, and their heads were thrown back in awe as they stared at the marvels towering above. Still boiling with this feeling, Hanzo eventually finds Jesse in the oversized kitchen. Most of the food is set out, just waiting for guests to wander through with hungry eyes. 

Mochi in hand, Jesse offers the container to Hanzo. “I assume you made these for us?” 

Hanzo stops just out of reach of the container. “You can have both, if you wish.” 

“Nope.” Jesse jiggles the container at him. “Take the other one, darlin’. Let’s get this party started.” 

Smiling, Hanzo adjusts his coat over his arm and lifts the mochi from its temporary home. 

“Uh… To the new year?” Jesse lifts the mochi in a toast, although he doesn't seem confident in it. 

Hanzo nods with his smile threatening to transform into a grin. “To the new year.” 

Jesse’s rice cake is gone sooner than Hanzo’s, but he enjoys watching Jesse eat his food. They rid their fingers of extra flour standing side by side at the sink. While drying their hands, Jesse bites his lower lip and watches Hanzo with searching eyes. Hanzo replaces the towel he’d used over the bar screwed into a cabinet and takes a step back to better see Jesse. The wolf twists and picks at the hand towel until he has the poor thing wrapped tightly around his paw. Snorting, Hanzo closes the distance between them and unravel the towel, placing it on the counter. 

“What is it?” 

Sighing and rolling his shoulders, Jesse mumbles, “I got you something for Christmas…” 

Hanzo nods, surprised and pleased, and once again takes a step back. Jesse follows his retreat while holding out his hand. 

“Open the store on your phone and I’ll show you.” 

Hanzo hesitates to hand the wolf his phone even though he knows Jesse won’t pry. He does as asked though when Jesse’s ears fold back in his head. The screen shines up at them as Hanzo plops the device in Jesse’s open paw. His fingers slip from it reluctantly, and Hanzo has to force himself not to cross his arms. Jesse uses light and deliberate touches to interact with the screen. Hanzo realizes that the phone is still the same as when they met, so of course Jesse would struggle with the smaller, human-based device. After a few taps and a grumble or two from Jesse, he turns the phone around and hands it back to Hanzo. 

“I uh, wanted you to have a better radar app,” he begins without his usual confidence. “This one has a bunch of different maps for wind speed, different reflectivities for storm cells… I’ll renew it next year if you want, but for a year from today you also have access to the app’s lightning data… Sorry if you—” 

“I love it.” Hanzo quickly thumbs through the many new, unfamiliar options available to him now. He lifts his head with his phone still clutched in his hand and adds, “It’s perfect.” 

Jesse approaches him slowly with his arms out, clearly wanting a hug. Hanzo nearly drops his phone to the tiles below in order to free himself of its burden. On tiptoes, he strains to wrap his arms around Jesse’s neck while the wolf hauls him up around the waist. Hanzo chuckles quietly into the fur on Jesse’s shoulder while the wolf throws his head back to laugh at the ceiling. He swings Hanzo back and forth a bit while his tail bangs against the cabinets under the counter. Hanzo hasn’t seen much of his boyfriend since Christmas, and holding him feels like the first time all over again. When his feet touch the ground again, Hanzo knows it won’t be the last time for awhile. 

No sooner do they untangle themselves than the doorbell sings again. Jesse scrambles to reach it before the newly arrived guest has a chance to ring it again. Hanzo eyes the flour still stuck to the fur around Jesse’s mouth as he flies past. Hanzo uses the moment to wipes his own beard down, to prevent any intruding questions. Booming voices and yells of celebration dance into the kitchen from the foyer. Hanzo’s stomach clenches tightly as the first strangers follow Jesse into the house. There will be more, from what Jesse had warned him about. The two wolves who walk in with Jesse—one a chocolate brown and the other quite blond, both older than him with scars on their muzzles—give him a nod as they continue questioning Jesse about his Christmas trip. 

A few people—humans and wolfmen alike—trickle in during the first two hours. Hanzo takes up the role of coat check, simply because sitting and talking makes his stomach seize even harder. Everyone eventually recognizes him as Jesse’s boyfriend, but he never lingers long enough to fall victim to idle chit chat. Jesse has designated a spare bedroom as the coat room, and Hanzo throws open the closet door to hang everyone’s attire. He’s sure Jesse meant for him to pile everything on the bed like a ruffian. He’ll use the closet and available hangers for as long as he can. Not everyone who shows up at the front door is wearing something that requires this special treatment, though. 

Two young people—one a rather short and sleek wolf and the other a human standing taller than her—arrive and shrug off hoodies. Hanzo will fold those and place them on the bed purely to save space. They both eye him as he stalks away with their outerwear. Once they see Jesse, though, the little wolf girl jumps at him and practically climbs him like a tree. The young man—with headphones draped around his neck, Hanzo notices with the hoodie gone—offers Jesse only a high-five in greeting. Jesse ignores it and sweeps the young man into a hug, lifting him off his feet. This dislodges his clinging friend, but she saves herself by clawing onto Jesse’s fur. Hanzo shakes his head at the display and finds an empty couch to sit on. 

From his corner spot, no one escapes Hanzo’s notice. Jesse had tried to keep up on introductions, but as the host, he has his hands in many pies tonight. Hanzo privately excuses Jesse from trying to keep up with him or pay him special attention. Whenever his golden eyes land on Hanzo in the sea of flesh and fur, he attempts to cross the house and talk to him. Someone will inevitably catch him and drag him in the opposite direction. Hanzo’s heart goes out to him. He would not pass up on the opportunity to steal a bit of Jesse’s time, if only to be near him and feel his warmth. Hanzo sighs at the thought. That sigh is sealed off, though, when a woman sits on the far side of the couch from him. Her pinched face reveals her annoyance, and Hanzo doesn’t blame her. So many smells and sounds mix together in this giant house, making it seem suffocating now. 

The woman’s phone vibrates in her pocket, and she lets out a tired, annoyed sigh. A quick glance at the screen is all she spares it. She doesn’t reply. 

“Difficult night?” Hanzo comments, not sure where his bravery is coming from. 

“Yes.” She turns to him, for better eye contact, and seems to recognize him. Her almond eyes dance across his face. “Hanzo, yes?” 

He nods. “I am afraid that I conscripted myself to coat duty after you arrived. Jesse did not introduce us.” 

She holds out a well-manicured hand for him to shake. “Satya.” 

Her grip takes him by surprise, and Hanzo adjusts the strength of his hand immediately. She smiles warmly at him, all traces of her annoyance gone. 

“My… partners were supposed to meet me here. And they have not.” 

“I’m sorry.” Hanzo glances around the room to see if anyone recognizes her. “I hope you have friends amongst the crowd.” 

Satya waves a hand at his words. “Oh yes, everyone here knows everyone else. It’s you, actually, that none of us knew.” 

Hanzo gulps. “Jesse mentioned something about wanting to introduce me to his friends. I was unaware of exactly what this would entail.” 

She laughs at him with little wrinkles at the corners of her eyes. 

“It must be a lot to take in,” she admits. “Do you recall any names so far?” 

Hanzo turns his gaze once against to the sea of meandering and chattering guests. The first two to arrive—the older wolves with scars on their faces—stick out. They’re arguing much like they had upon arrival. 

“Those two,” he gestures with a nod. “They are… Gabriel? And Jack?” 

She hums and slides closer to him on their couch. “Anyone else?” 

“There was a doctor, although I do not see her…” 

“Angela is probably outside, enjoying the smoke-free air.” Satya chuckles and nods to the younger couple who had nearly wrestled with Jesse earlier. “Those two? You were there when Hana jumped on him.” 

Hanzo shakes his head. “I did not catch their names, no.” 

“Hana, the little half wolf there, and her boyfriend Lucio. She plays video games professionally, and he DJs.” 

Hanzo watches how easily they lean together and touch each other, how their words flow so naturally and they laughs at one another. Satya continues to point out other members of the group, but Hanzo aches too much inside to pay attention. She notices after he’s fallen into a thick silence, simply watching him and glancing where his eyes stare without focus. Her phone goes off again, distracting her from Hanzo’s private pain. She replies this time, and when she pockets the phone, she rests a hand on Hanzo’s shoulder to bring him back. 

“My partners are here. They’ll need their coats taken.” 

Chuckling, Hanzo stands with a soft groan from the couch and offers her a hand. She declines and rises on her own power to stand beside him. When they fight their way to the front door, two wolves are trying to step inside while also greeting overly excited friends. They see Satya at the same time and immediately squirm through the crowd to reach her. Hanzo tiptoes backwards to avoid the wolves that try to take the young woman for themselves, rather than share her. It ends up as a mess of arms and furry faces pressed to her shoulders. Over the commotion, Hanzo picks up apologies and sweet nothings murmured to her. Satya is quick to pick wandering paws off her outfit and hold them at arm’s length. Her face seems stern and wooden, but Hanzo can see the wrinkles at the corners of her eyes again. She is happy to see them, just not as boisterous about it as them. 

“This”—she gestures to Hanzo with a hand—”is Hanzo, Jesse’s boyfriend. Hanzo, this is Fareeha and Sombra, my partners.”

The two wolves tower over Satya and Hanzo. Between them though, there are few similarities. Fareeha is the tallest of their little group, although very thin limbed and whip-like. Her coat is shiny even in the dim of Jesse’s house, her fur lacking a curl or wave to it. She offers a paw to Hanzo, and he finds that it fits delicately in his hand. It isn’t without strength, but it suits the rest of her nicely. On the other hand, Sombra is almost an exact opposite. She’s shorter than Fareeha, with fur that is styled and dyed bright colors. Her teeth are painfully white as she grins at Hanzo. She’s stockier than Fareeha, closer to Satya in figure. It doesn’t subtract from how intimidating she is. She grabs Hanzo’s hand with both paws when they shake, claiming dominance over the introduction. 

“Where IS the cowboy, anyway?” Sombra asks Satya while still grinning at Hanzo. 

“He’ll turn up eventually,” Fareeha says over Sombra’s shoulder. She picks Sombra’s paw off Hanzo and steers her deeper into the house. “It was a pleasure to meet you, Hanzo.” 

Satya watches Sombra struggle as they make for the kitchen. She lifts a hand to hold Hanzo’s upper arm while they watch. When they make eye contact, they share a brief chuckle before Satya takes a step to follow her partners. Hanzo waves her on. She slips into the crowd like a ship through fog. The last of the guests have surely arrived, he hopes. Hanzo shuffles away from the front door to reclaim his spot on the lonely couch. When he makes it back, a few guests have taken the secluded space. Humming, Hanzo turns on his heel to search for another spot. He passes closely to the kitchen on his long and winding search. Fareeha, Sombra, and Satya have moved on. Idly, Hanzo picks out a water bottle from the fridge and continues his search for solitude. He finds it in another living room—how does a house have two living rooms, he wonders—in an empty rocking chair. It attempts to swallow him whole when he sits, and it immediately rocks back to lift his feet off the ground. Hanzo tucks his socked feet under him and nurses the water. The conversation in this room is less rambunctious and the lighting dimmer. With the white noise of chatter and the rocking chair moving smoothly under him, Hanzo rests his eyes and relaxes. 

He’s sure upon retrospection that he only rested for a moment. But someone shakes him awake some unknown time later, concern bending a furry face into a frown. The black fur rises from the dim of the sitting room as a blur to Hanzo, but he recognizes the deep, brown eyes watching him and the scars thinning out the fur. 

“Look alive, short stuff. Don’t pass out, now.” 

Hanzo tries to shrug the paw off him, but he barely twitches. His brain helpfully adds that the wolf shaking him is Gabriel, one of the older wolves, and his partner stands behind him with a smile on his face. 

“I think Hanzo was just sleeping, Gabe…” 

“Yea, well, ‘I think’ isn’t a good explanation to the cops when someone dies of alcohol poisoning,” Gabriel fires back. 

Hanzo isn’t sure how they could possibly be arguing. And this is only the third time Hanzo has witnessed it. Other bickerings must have happened during the night. 

Jack shrugs and reaches over to pluck his partner’s paw off. 

“Maybe you can lead Jesse’s boyfriend to a bed to sleep in, instead of shaking him.” 

Gabe mumbles threats under his breath, but he still yanks Hanzo out of the rocking chair regardless. Hanzo attempts to voice his displeasure, to gesture to the water bottle wedged between the wall of the chair and the cushion. However, nothing intelligent makes it out his mouth. The exhaustion has crept up on him. He isn’t exactly surprised, having spent all day before the party a nervous wreck and then spent the hours here stressing out about social interactions. If Hanzo could, he would simply return home and see Jesse another time. But his brain stumbles over the idea of not staying long enough to kiss Jesse at midnight. He isn’t even sure what time it is, but he has to kiss Jesse before he leaves. They’ve never kissed each other, except chastely on the cheek or forehead. Hanzo fights the blush attempting to ruin his face as Gabe throws a door open and walks him in. 

“Good, no one decided to pull a prank and do anything gross in Jesse’s bed. We’ll let him know where you are.” 

Hanzo falls face first into the generous, ocean of a bed with a slurred thank you. The door clicks shut, casting the room into darkness. It’s pleasantly warm, but Hanzo wrestles under the covers anyway. He shivers hard, teeth clacking, until his body builds up a bubble of heat. Hanzo draws his legs up tightly to the rest of him while adjusting the pillow between his head and arm. He’s sure the pillows smell of Jesse, without perfumes or musk. Again, it’s something Hanzo is grateful for about the wolf. Smoothing his cheek against the cool pillowcase, Hanzo draws the blanket around his face to cover his ear and eyes. It leaves a crescent of space around his nose and mouth to breathe. Otherwise, he sinks into the bed and doesn’t move. A warm body wrapped around him would make it better, but the smell of Jesse’s pillow in his nose is comfort enough. 

Silence blankets the bedroom, far from the festivities in the rest of the house. For one ear splitting second, the noise increases tenfold but immediately falls quiet again. It’s enough to rouse Hanzo out of the dream he’d been in, and he rolls over with a grunt. Weight dips the mattress under him, and paws seek out his body under the covers. They urge him onto his back, and one travels up to pull the blanket from his face. Hanzo whines as cool air touches his exposed ear, but warmth bends around him to chase the chill away. Unfortunately, the cold nose that bumps his cheek brings it all right back, and Hanzo cranes his head away to escape. A warm chuckle vibrates against his chest, and Hanzo cracks open his eyes to fight whomever disturbed him. 

“Happy New Year, darlin’,” Jesse rumbles only inches from his face. Even in the dark, Hanzo sees the sparkle in his eyes. “Glad I found where Gabe and Jack had tucked you away.” 

“I am...not drunk,” he mumbles. 

“I don’t think you are, either.” Jesse rubs their cheeks together. “Pretty tiring to be around so many people, huh?” 

“I socialized,” Hanzo defends. “I met Satya and her partners. I did not sit in a corner all night.” 

Jesse’s smile blooms across his cheek where they still touch. 

“I’m real proud of you, sweetpea. Do you wanna stay here tonight? I don’t mind.” 

Hanzo’s fingers drag his hands out from under the covers so that he can pet Jesse’s fur. The wolf squirms closer to offer more of himself. The closeness Hanzo had craved all night breathes a sigh of relief. Jesse’s knees sink on the outsides of Hanzo’s thighs, not meaning to trap him but doing just that. Jesse is heavy and strong enough to keep him down, and the grounding touch is exactly what he’d wanted. Jesse’s tail beats against the covers as he snuffles along Hanzo’s ear and shoulder. Hiding his face in Jesse’s neck, Hanzo nods. 

Jesse draws his hands up Hanzo’s body—barely touching him—to gently grab his wrists and pull them away. Hanzo lets his arms fall back to the bed with a dull smack. The covers wrinkle and pool around Jesse’s heavy knees, still snug against Hanzo’s legs. Jesse smiles at him in the dark and tries to straighten Hanzo’s shirt. There’s not much room to work with, especially while most of the material bunches above Hanzo’s navel. Always a gentleman, Jesse tugs the shirt down to cover the bare skin. 

“You wanna change into something more comfortable?” Jesse nods to his own dressers. “I got sweats and sleep shirts in the top drawers. They won’t fit you super well, but it’s better than sleepin’ in this.” 

Hanzo grunts, and Jesse takes it as a yes. He hobbles off Hanzo and crawls to the edge of the bed. Still half asleep, Hanzo swats after him, to stop him from leaving. Jesse stands at the edge of the bed and watches him, grinning. 

“I’m not goin’ anywhere yet.” 

“Do not leave,” Hanzo mumbles. 

“Everybody will leave soon, especially because I’m tired of them bein’ here. I’ll crash on the couch and—” 

“No,” Hanzo cuts him off. “You will sleep here.” 

He’s managed to free himself from the constricting blankets and has crawled towards Jesse. 

Jesse’s paws seek him in the darkness, and they hold him by the shoulders. 

“Are you sure?” Jesse asks with no nonsense in his voice. “I’ll sleep here if you want, the bed is big enough we don’t even have to touch, but only if—” 

“I am sure.” Hanzo cranes his neck at an odd angle purely just to rub his cheek across the top of Jesse’s paw. “I want us to sleep together.” 

Jesse pauses with his mouth open, apparently stuck in thought. Everything kicks into gear again after a hard shake of his head, and he utters simply, “All right.” 

Hanzo sinks under his paws back to the mattress. He does want to change into something else, but the bed is soft and warm. And it will soon have Jesse in it as well. Jesse’s fingers seek the buzzed hairs on Hanzo’s head, and they pet with the grain. Hanzo swipes his paw away while struggling to rise again. Jesse gets a paw around his arm and pulls him up. Leaning on Jesse, Hanzo lets the wolf take the reins and walk them to the dresser. Jesse curls an arm around Hanzo and holds him up against his side while fishing with his free paw for clothes. Hanzo steadies himself with a hand on Jesse’s chest. His heart beats wildly under his palm, as if straining to get out. Hanzo mumbles nonsense into Jesse’s fur as they step away as one. Jesse chuckles and lets him drop back to the bed.

“Change into these, and I’ll pick your clothes up when I come back. I’ll fold ‘em for you and put them somewhere safe.” 

Hanzo loses track of time and himself when Jesse leaves. He somehow gathers the coordination to change into clothes and kick his own off and onto the floor. He’s built up his bubble of warmth under the covers again when the bedroom door groans open and shut. Hanzo blinks awake with his back to the door, ears straining to take in the sounds of Jesse changing clothes. The covers lift behind him, letting cold air in, but that’s all chased away by the furnace of Jesse’s body. Shirtless, fur from Hanzo’s neck all the way to his ass warms him through his borrowed clothes. Jesse mumbles something in the dark, and his paws attempt to reach around Hanzo’s stomach. He stops, hesitating, and beings to draw back after a split-second thought. Hanzo strikes out like a viper and catches Jesse’s wrist. He guides Jesse’s paw to settle over his stomach, holding him like on their movie date. Hanzo’s boldness encourages Jesse, and he shuffles closer to tuck his body around Hanzo. He whines once in Hanzo’s ear before settling. 

“Thank you for coming, Hanzo. Even if you didn’t like it…” 

Hanzo rolls his shoulder in a half-hearted shrug. “I could have left at anytime. I wanted to stay.” 

Jesse’s arm around his stomach tightens, dragging them impossibly closer together. Jesse is a soft wall of warmth behind him, with his legs folded carefully to mimic Hanzo. Hand shaking, Hanzo reaches down to cover Jesse’s paw. It occurs to him then, cuddled together and holding one another, that he never got that midnight kiss from the wolf. Surely that’s why Jesse had come, to kiss him. Hanzo bites his lip in the dark while deciding how brave to be. His tight breathing and sweaty palm concern Jesse, and he bumps his nose just below Hanzo’s ear. 

“You all right?” 

Huffing, Hanzo rolls around under Jesse’s arm until they face each other. Jesse blinks at him in the dark, and Hanzo fists his hands in the fur on Jesse’s chest. Hanzo fights his natural instinct to bow out like a coward and flip back over. He’s waited all night for this kiss, waited their two month long relationship for this. He’s wanted to kiss Jesse since their first conversation at the bar. The wolf had sealed his fate with his first uttered word about the weather. Sucking in a breath, Hanzo steadies his fluttering heart and clenching stomach. He should probably ease up on Jesse’s fur, too. 

“It is after midnight on New Year’s Day,” Hanzo points out. “And I did not get a kiss.” 

Jesse’s tail, which had thumped softly since Hanzo had turned over, now stills under the covers. The arm still curled around Hanzo’s waist feels heavier as Jesse goes still. 

“You want a kiss?” Jesse asks. 

Breath stuttering out of him, Hanzo tightens his grip in Jesse’s fur and nods. He knows Jesse’s sharp eyes can see him in the dark. Jesse hums as he drags the paw cradling the small of Hanzo’s spine northward, up to his chin. The wolf guides him up and tilts his head just so. There’s warm breath on hip lips, and Hanzo will never admit to the crushed whine that sneaks out of him. Fur tickles his chin as Jesse brings them together, kiss making not enough contact for Hanzo’s liking. Hanzo sighs through his nose at the same moment as Jesse hums against his mouth. It’s easy like this to coax Hanzo onto his back, even easier for Jesse to shift his weight to half pin Hanzo beneath him. 

Hanzo surges against that weight, not to fight it but to feel more of it. It all works according to plan when Jesse obliges him with more force, more weight. Wiggling his arms free, Hanzo wraps them around Jesse’s neck and keeps him close. Their press of lips is desperate and brief, coming together in between gasps of air at the first slide of their bodies. Jesse squirms down to bury his head between Hanzo’s shoulder and neck as he seeks to pin Hanzo completely. Hanzo throws his head back into the pillow, and it balloons around him to block out everything except his own frantic panting. Jesse mumbles something into his shoulder, but it’s lost when something firmer than the rest of Jesse’s body presses needy and warm along Hanzo’s inner thigh. His fingers pull and yank on red fur, trying to bring Jesse back up so they can at least kiss and Hanzo can stop hearing his own pitiful noises.

“Jesse,” he whispers into the dark. 

More weight, crushing and demanding, bears down on Hanzo’s shaking body. Jesse breathes heavily along his throat, but he does nothing more than let Hanzo feel his weight. Hanzo tries to buck and yank his body free. Jesse rutting against him is what he wants, although he enjoys the wolf holding him down this way. He’d like to show exactly how much he likes it, but Jesse refuses to let him move. Flopping his head into the pillow in a tantrum, Hanzo sucks in as much air as Jesse’s body allows him. 

“We should stop,” Jesse points out, voice barely above a wrecked rasp. “I don’t want you to regret anything. Even though I want you, wanted you since the first time…” 

Hanzo’s shoulders shake with his sigh, not quite a sob but perhaps closely related. 

“I have been afraid all this time of being close to you.” Hanzo opens his eyes to watch the sparks of white and color dance inside his eyes. “I worried you would leave, and yet I would still want you. I am still afraid.”

Lips find his cheek and kiss him tenderly. 

“It’s good to know you want me, too, Hanzo.” Jesse smiles against his cheek. “It kills me to do this, but it’s the right thing to do. We should stop.” 

Hanzo finally unwinds his hands from the tufts of Jesse’s fur he’d clutched to death. Jesse kisses his lips one last time before he pushes and pulls them into their original positions. The brief but hard fight Hanzo had put up to seek more of Jesse’s body has tired him. He can barely get a hand on Jesse’s paw before the room swims. He groans with half his face pressed firmly into the pillow. Behind him, Jesse huffs and whines in his ear. There’s no distress in the noise, only happiness. Warmth and the firm weight of paws on him helps drag Hanzo back to sleep. It’s foolish, but he hopes they don’t move too much while sleeping. He’d like to wake later today, still with Jesse’s thick arm around him. 

- 

Light and the need for water disturb Hanzo hours later. Someone has wrung him out in the middle of the night and drained him of moisture. Even his eyes ache. Groaning, he wiggles out of Jesse’s arm and leg thrown over him and escapes to the kitchen. No food has been left out, thankfully, but there are plastic cups and used paper plates everywhere. Hanzo sighs while rubbing his sleepy, oily face. Water bottle in hand, he temporarily abandons the kitchen for the bathroom. It only takes some hot water on a rag to help wake him up. He’s pretty sure he’d seen an expensive, shiny coffee maker on the kitchen counter. Coffee is better than nothing, and he won’t dig through Jesse’s pantry to maybe find cheap tea. 

A peek inside the oversized dishwasher reveals all the pots and pans Jesse had used to cook with. They’re even rinsed. Hanzo nods, proud of his boyfriend, and sets the machine to wash. Trash bag in hand, he wanders from room-to-room, picking up garbage. There’s another bag tucked into the pocket of the sweatpants he’d borrowed. They try to sag with every step he takes, even with the drawstring tied as tightly as he can get it. Once he’s filled a trash bag, he waddles back to the kitchen to leave the refuse behind. He fills up another trash bag before he’s satisfied that the house is mostly set back to right. He groans with the need for coffee and food threatening to drag him to the floor. The coffee maker is easy to figure out after a thorough hand washing. And despite Jesse’s one remaining frying pan being wolf-sized and a bit unwieldy for him, Hanzo manages with a step stool under him and his hair pushed back from his face. 

Frying meats and eggy French toast rouse the slumbering wolf from his bedroom. Hanzo bites back a laugh as Jesse thumps into the kitchen, dragging his feet after every step. He grumbles and makes garbled noises while approaching. Hanzo keeps his back to Jesse while continuing to roll sausages around and check the underside of the toast. The flame from the gas stove in front of him calls up sweat on his forehead, and Jesse adds his body heat along Hanzo’s back. He’s blanketed in warmth, and he risks falling to lean back against Jesse. Jesse hums and wraps his arms around Hanzo’s waist.  It’s awkward with the added height under Hanzo’s feet, but it does bring Hanzo up higher. Jesse perches his fluffy chin on Hanzo’s shoulder while watching him cook. 

He loses interest in the activities, though, and rubs his face where the neckline of Hanzo’s borrowed shirt nearly drags off his shoulder. Hanzo shrugs to play fight the wolf off him. Jesse’s arms constrict around him, and Jesse leans more weight on Hanzo’s back. 

“Careful, Jesse, I have the stove on.” 

This does nothing to deter Jesse’s playful rubbing and squeezing. It turns less playful when Jesse scoots them forward to bang Hanzo’s front along the stove. It’s not enough for Hanzo to stop cooking or turn the stove off, but he does struggle a bit harder. The smile is still on his face when the sharp edges of teeth find the meat of his shoulder. Hanzo knows better than to fight with wolf teeth so close to his neck. He goes still while the food continues to cook, sending up bits of oil everywhere. Jesse takes this as a sign to chew on more of Hanzo’s shoulder, even through the sleep shirt. Hands shaking, Hanzo flips off the gas and quickly moves the food to a cold burner. 

It’s too much movement for Jesse’s liking. A growl warns Hanzo against any more foolish squirming, but Hanzo shudders hard against the stove. That sets Jesse off. The knobs for the stove top dig roughly into Hanzo’s stomach as Jesse practically bends them over the oven. Hanzo clutches onto Jesse’s paws and tries to stay as still as possible. He stands on the tips of his toes and Jesse drags him higher and tighter against his body. He’s treated to the firm press of an erection against his ass, recalling red-tinted images of last night and being held down by Jesse. Hanzo sucks in a lungful of air and risks jerking his hips backward. More incoherent noises fall from Jesse’s mouth with his sharp teeth still dragging along Hanzo’s skin. The wolf no longer has to crane down to press his teeth to Hanzo’s neck. Hanzo’s stomach drops off a cliff as he bites back a noise, unwilling to give Jesse any indication of exactly what this man handling is doing to him. Despite his attempt to breathe deeply and calmly, Hanzo’s breath rasps out with every exhale. 

“J-jesse,” he gasps. 

Jesse drops him as dead weight back onto the stool and scrambles away. Knees weak, Hanzo braces his hands on the counter, mindful of the stove. The teeth marks along his neck and shoulder throb with every beat of his heart. He gets a hand halfway to the buzzing marks before he thinks better of it and drops his hand back down. He needs all the support he can get to keep himself on his feet. Head swimming, Hanzo glances over his shoulder to find Jesse cowering on the other side of the kitchen. The kitchen table is between them with Jesse curled up by the wall, his face in his hands. Hanzo takes shaky steps back to the kitchen floor before making his way around the table. 

Jesse goes still at the sound of his bare feet hitting the tiles. He tries to curl up even tighter, but he’s already made himself as small as possible. Hanzo stops at his curled, little toes and squats in front of Jesse. His hand rests on the furry top of Jesse’s knee, and it pleases Hanzo when Jesse doesn’t flinch away. His tail, trapped between his back at the wall, makes a feeble attempt at wagging. Jesse’s shoulder sink as Hanzo tangles his other hand in the long fur on top of his head. Hanzo scoots closer until the only things keeping him at bay are Jesse’s knees. Hanzo rubs a rounded ear between his fingers, which gets Jesse’s legs kicking and weak. Hanzo seizes his opportunity and crawls between Jesse’s bent knees. It’s a fight to slip his hands between Jesse’s paws and his face, but he wins in the end. 

Sad and full of shame, Jesse’s eyes stare at him from under his hair. He tries to turn his head away, but Hanzo won’t allow it. Squirming more and more into Jesse’s personal space, Hanzo dips his head to force Jesse to look at him. Jesse mumbles something against Hanzo’s palm. Hanzo offers him a smile in return and pets his thumb under a golden eye. His insides twist and pull with so much built up energy and anticipation. What had passed between them moments ago… Hanzo has theories of course, but he’d like to hear an explanation from Jesse. He’ll have to ask probably, because it seems like his fluffy boyfriend isn’t too eager to divulge. Hanzo crosses his legs on the floor and finally sits on his ass. 

Jesse speaks up before Hanzo even opens his mouth. 

“Did I… Did I hurt you, darlin’? Scare you? I didn’t mean to, honest…” 

Hanzo rolls the abused shoulder and shakes his head. “I allowed this to happen, Jesse. I could have stopped you at any time.” 

Jesse whines under his breath. “Didn’t break the skin, did I?” 

He lifts a paw to check, but just as quickly drops it down. His head moves forward against Hanzo’s grip on his face and noses at the marks. He sniffs them and gives the bite on his neck a kiss, whining again when Hanzo flinches. It doesn’t hurt, not really, but the marks still throb in time with his heartbeat. Hanzo swallows hard and shrugs Jesse’s muzzle away. His hands have fallen to Jesse’s shoulders, and they scratch at his skin below the fur. Jesse tries to lean forward again, probably to nuzzle him, but Hanzo chuckles while forcing him to sit up. 

“I am fine. Nothing a hot washcloth can’t fix. But I am curious as to **why** you did it.” 

Avoiding Hanzo’s gaze, Jesse turns his head to mumble out the side of his mouth, “You smelled like me…” 

Biting his lower lip, Hanzo composes himself and asks, “I smelled like you?” 

Huffing, Jesse throws his head around in a struggle and whines, “You slept in my bed, and you’re wearing my clothes. So you smell like me! And I just wanted to do that…” 

“Bite me,” Hanzo points out with barely contained humor. 

Jesse’s ears fold back in his fur as he ducks his head in shame. “Yea, yea okay? I wanted to bite you. I’m sorry I didn’t ask first, I wasn’t thinking. That’s… that’s not an excuse, and it’ll never happen again—” 

Hanzo presses a finger to the front of Jesse’s snout. The wolf shuts his mouth fast enough to click his teeth together. He watches Hanzo with his eyebrows high, waiting patiently. 

“You misunderstand my questioning.” Hanzo lowers his hand once he’s sure Jesse will remain quiet. “I only wanted to know your thought process behind your actions. I never said anything about not allowing it or wanting an apology.” 

Jesse opens his mouth to speak, but he stops before saying anything. He waits for Hanzo to continue. 

Shivering, Hanzo collects himself while a blush bleeds across his cheeks. “It was not unpleasant.” 

“Is, uh, this your way of sayin’ you don’t mind?” Jesse wiggles to sit up straighter, boldness and courage finally returning. “We talked about you asking for things. I just wanna be sure…”

“I would… I would not be opposed to it, no.” 

Jesse grins while shaking his head. His paws dive into the long hair falling on the side of Hanzo’s head to pet and scratch him. 

“No, darlin’, we talked about this. I gotta know what you want.” 

“You are making this deliberately difficult,” Hanzo grinds out as his embarrassment mounts. Of course Jesse would manage to flip the script on this, making Hanzo squirm instead of himself. 

Jesse leans forward to kiss his warm forehead. “Yea, suppose I am. But it would be over if you just told me what you wanted…” 

Hanzo swears all his blood must somehow be pooling into his face, despite the nature of gravity. Cheeks burning, he mumbles, “This is difficult for me. But… I welcome your touch. And would not mind in the future if you…” His whole face pinches down on the words that slips out towards the end. “Bit me… Again.” 

Jesse pulls him in around his neck and allows Hanzo a blissful minute or two to hide his ruddy face. Jesse’s chuckles vibrate their chests, and he busies his paws with combing through Hanzo’s hair. He murmurs sweet nothings into Hanzo’s ear with a laugh trailing each word. He snuffles into Hanzo’s ear and whines happily when Hanzo’s hands clutch onto his fur. The red fur muffles Hanzo’s plea for Jesse to have mercy on him. This embarrassment is more than he can take, and it turns his insides to liquid. Jesse gets his paws around Hanzo’s biceps and lifts them to their feet. Hanzo shows great reluctance to let him go, if only to selfishly stay in his hiding place. Jesse leads them to the stove where the ruined breakfast lies in greasy shambles. Jesse nuzzles his hair and mumbles a thank you before binning it all. 

“What do you say to breakfast out? My treat?” 


	4. A Helping Paw

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter five is not finished, but it's nearly there. I wanted to post four before people lose interest in this lol. I've spent the past month pumping thousands of words a day, and now I've reached a dry spell. So that really sucks. OH well lol. Get ready for some dildo-y action ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Please yell and scream all your ~~horny~~ outrage in the comments below.
> 
> [Also, If you'd like to follow me on tumblr, there ya go.](http://missgillette.tumblr.com) I whine about writing sometimes.

He’s rushing this, and he knows it. Podcast playing in the background to drown out his noises, Hanzo fully realizes he’s rushing this session with the first press of silicone to his entrance. Normally, the arduous process of preparing himself for such a large intrusion would take an hour, maybe more. But he has a time limit today, because Jesse will be here in an hour or so for lunch. And just because they’ve made plans doesn’t mean Hanzo can’t keep to his routine. Eyes pinched shut and a grimace on his face, Hanzo widens the spread of his knees sinking into the mattress. The towel laid out under him scratches his skin, but it’s **the** towel he’s chosen to sacrifice. There’s nothing he could get on it that bleach won’t erase. 

Pressure he isn’t ready for and the burn of such a large stretch takes what little pleasure he’s managed so far. Stubbornly, Hanzo adjusts his grip on the dildo where it’s sinking into him. His slippery fingers help guide the damn thing inside him while also soothing the ache at his rim. Sweat collects along his hairline, the back of his neck, and behind his knees. He’s gone soft again, but that doesn’t concern him. All his concentration focuses on cramming as much fake dick in him as he can get. The bumpy head loses friction against his muscles and slips in, jarring Hanzo with the unexpected fullness. The hand not steadying the dildo shifts to fondle his soft prick now that the difficult part is over. It’s still painful, but he sighs to the ceiling with his hair sticking to his face. It’s a start. 

Under the white noise of the podcast, a voice calls from the living room. 

“Hanzo? You here, honey?” 

Holding his breath, Hanzo yanks his hands away from his body. He blinks sweat away from his eyes and strains to listen, sure that he didn’t just hear Jesse’s voice. There’s nothing for a minute or two, a minute or two spent with his body clenching agonizingly hard around the dildo. He didn’t hear the front door open or close, couldn’t detect anyone moving about the apartment. Even sucking in shallow breaths through his mouth reveals nothing. Hanzo gives half a thought to continuing, but Jesse’s voice calls for him again. Closer. 

He sing-songs, “Hanzo, come out-come out! Your shoes are by the door, darlin’! You’re here somewhere…” 

Through his panic, the dildo slipping out of him doesn’t even hurt. Hanzo nearly lands face first onto the floor in his scramble to get up. He doesn’t want his tripping and fumbling to attract the wolf’s attention. It’ll be difficult enough to hide the scent of sweat and lube from him. Unsteady on his feet, Hanzo flicks the edge of the towel to cover the evidence of his sin, although the dildo makes a pretty obvious outline. Hanzo snatches one of Jesse’s oversized button-ups that he’d kept the last time they’d had a date night here. Jesse had parted with the shirt without a fuss, but had teased him anytime he saw Hanzo wearing it. Now, Hanzo treats it like a robe as he flies about the room, hiding lube and pausing the podcast on his laptop. As last minute thought, Hanzo closes the lid to prevent Jesse from seeing anything. More sweat gathers on his hairline, and his heart nearly stops when Jesse knocks at his bedroom door. He throws a thanks skyward that he’d remembered to lock it. 

“I hope you’re not sleeping, Hanzo. Didn’t mean to wake you…” 

Hanzo’s voice fails him when he tries to reply, and he has to gulp down air to calm himself. 

He replies through the door, “I was, yes, but I’ll come out in a moment. I thought our lunch date was at 1?” 

“Sorry, darlin’. I wanted to surprise you…” 

Letting out a muffled groan, Hanzo sloppily shoves a few buttons through their respective holes as he stomps to the bedroom door. He unlocks it and cracks it open just enough to gaze up at Jesse. The wolf perks up at the sight of him. That perk deflates a bit as Jesse sniffs at him. 

“You all right, Hanzo? I smell blood…” 

An explanation tangles in Hanzo’s mouth as he blinks up at Jesse. Thankfully, Jesse doesn’t try to crane his head up to see into the bedroom. He only has eyes for Hanzo, eyes full of worry. 

Hanzo’s fingernails dig into the cheap wood of the bedroom door. “I’m fine. I… nicked myself shaving this morning. Face wounds bleed so much…” 

Jesse purses his lips, as if sensing Hanzo’s lie, but he nods. He glances down where Hanzo’s naked legs appear out the bottom of the flannel shirt, but he says nothing about it. 

Sighing, Hanzo nods down the hall and says, “Please, wait in the living room. I will be ready soon.” 

Jesse’s eyes still brim with worry, but he nods. “You got it.” 

Turning on his heel, he obeys Hanzo’s request and disappears into the living room. 

For security, Hanzo locks the door after Jesse leaves. He turns with his back pressed to the door to stare at the mess he needs to hide or quickly clean up. The towel can go in the hamper, he decides, but the dildo is another matter. It would be easier to stow it in the bathtub while they’re gone, but he’d rather clean it now. Hanzo wipes sweat from his forehead and staggers back to the bed. The towel arcs gracefully through the air and lands in the open hamper perfectly. Holding the sex toy by the base to avoid the lube on it, Hanzo unlocks the bedroom door and peeks out. He can see Jesse from here, sitting on the couch and staring down at his phone. Blowing out air through his mouth, Hanzo flashes across the hallway and locks the bathroom door behind him. 

Panic still surges around his body like a runaway train. He decides while glancing at his splotchy blush in the mirror to just dump his shame for now and deal with it later. They hadn’t planned on coming back to Hanzo’s apartment to hang out, schedule conflicts and all. Ripping back the shower curtain, Hanzo bites back a defeated groan. The tools he uses to make this process as hygienic as possible are still in the tub. He could explain away the dildo, seeing as how Jesse already knows about them. But to explain the special wash he uses and the literal piece of tubing currently connected to the faucet… His head swims at the hypothetical situation. The dildo joins everything else in the tub, and he pulls back the curtain to make everything appear normal. Jesse has no reason to use the restroom, since Hanzo plans on hurrying them out as soon as he’s dressed. 

He refuses to blush or make a big deal out of mopping up lube from his ass. Hanzo doesn’t spare the washcloth a second glance as it too joins the mess in the tub. He doesn’t even bother peeling the curtain back, simply tossing the blue cloth through the space between the ceiling and curtain rod. Hanzo splashes cold water on his face and the back of his neck to clear the sweat and lingering flush. Dripping and tired from the adrenaline rush, Hanzo blinks at himself in the mirror. He can do this, he mentally encourages himself. Jesse never has to know what...embarrassing things he’d been up to only moments before. Coughing, Hanzo washes his hands and makes to leave the restroom. 

On the other side of the door stands Jesse, with his paw raised to knock. 

“Uh…hey there.” Jesse picks at the fur around his trimmed claws and glances into the bathroom behind him. “Everything okay?” 

Hanzo tries to make himself bigger in order to block the wolf’s view. The evidence of his debauchery lies waiting in the bathtub, calling out to Jesse to fling the curtain back and see all. More sweat beads on the back of Hanzo’s neck. He tries for a smile, but knows it comes out messy and strained. 

“I’m fine. I promise.” 

Jesse tries to bend down to kiss his forehead, but Hanzo leans out of the way. Pouting, Jesse mumbles, “Can’t I get a kiss?” 

Hanzo lays a hand on Jesse’s broad chest and pushes him away. While doing so, he reaches behind him to turn the bathroom light off. He’ll close the door, too, once he encourages the affectionate wolf back to the living room. 

“Let me get dressed, and you can have all the kisses you want.” 

Jesse’s pout is replaced with a hopeful smile. “That’s a deal, partner.” 

Hanzo shuffles around Jesse’s body to return to his bedroom. He half expects Jesse to try and follow, but instead he reaches into the bathroom to flick the light back on. Color and warmth drain from Hanzo’s face as he watches. 

“While you do that,” Jesse says into the bathroom, not looking at him, “I’m gonna use the restroom. Hope you don’t mind?” 

Hanzo’s mouth falls open as he attempts to beg Jesse not to, but the wolf simply nudges the door shut. The gentle tap of the toilet lid and seat hitting the tank reaches his ears while Hanzo stands there, frozen. Perhaps Jesse won’t notice anything, Hanzo reasons. The bathroom must stink of bleach and cleaning products. Maybe they’ll cover up the scent of lube and other things. Numb, Hanzo drags his feet into his bedroom and stares blankly at his wardrobe. He should be dressing, preparing for their lunch date, but he can’t convince himself to move. There’s only silence from the bathroom. Hanzo had deliberately left his bedroom door open, ravenous to make out any sounds of Jesse snooping. The silence drags into infinity the longer Hanzo stares at the bathroom door. Sweat once again collects on Hanzo’s face, but it’s a cold, nervous sweat this time. Finally, blessedly, the toilet flushes and the sink comes alive while Jesse washes his paws. 

Jesse appears in the doorway a bit later, first glancing at Hanzo before finding the floor a great place of interest. Hanzo buries his fingers in the front of his shirt, twisting the thick material around and around. It’s better than tapping his fingers on his thigh or bouncing his leg. Jesse’s eyes find him again for a split second before he rubs the back of his neck, once again unable to keep eye contact. It strikes Hanzo how uncomfortable it makes him to see Jesse act bashful or shy. Sometimes it’s cute, but right now is fills him with nothing but dread. Jesse shuffles deeper into the room, almost coming halfway to Hanzo’s frozen form in front of the wardrobe, before stopping. 

“Did I, um… Did I interrupt something?” 

If Jesse were accusing him of something, if there were an **inkling** of attitude in his tone, Hanzo would bite back and defend himself. Hanzo crumbles at the way Jesse asks his question—so softly, as if he’s upset with himself. Rubbing the top of his arm, Hanzo stares at the floor between their feet and nods once. There’s no point in lying about it. 

Shrinking in on himself at Hanzo’s honesty, Jesse stutters out, “Sh-should I come back later? I didn’t know, honest. The blood was one thing, but the bathroom is just… It smells like—” 

“I know,” Hanzo cuts him off with a hand covering his eyes. “I thought maybe you wouldn’t notice…” 

Below the cover of his hand, Hanzo watches Jesse’s feet shuffle closer and closer. He steels himself, ready for Jesse to reach out and reassure him. It’s been a bit of a learning curve to figure out that Jesse would rather hold him and help him through his problems than yell at him. He always expects disappointment, but Jesse’s endless patience comes through time and time again. Broad, soft paws seek out his hips, dragging him a step or two until Hanzo enters the constant, warm bubble surrounding Jesse. The pads of Jesse’s fingers flex against the flannel covering Hanzo’s hips, and Hanzo squirms in his hold. Jesse must be able to smell the leftover arousal on him, especially this close. He doesn't want to lead the wolf on. 

“Do you wanna keep going?” Jesse mumbles above his head. “I don’t mind waiting.” 

Dropping his hand, Hanzo rests his forehead on Jesse’s covered chest. “As you could probably tell, it was not going smoothly, anyway. There will be other times.” 

Breath rustles the hair on top of Hanzo’s head as Jesse breathes deeply. His stomach bumps Hanzo’s chest before receding, and Hanzo closes the space between them in order to feel every shift of Jesse’s body. 

“Um… Do you want help? Maybe?” 

Hanzo lifts his head until his chin presses into Jesse’s chest. The wolf has his head turned away, lips pressed firmly together and ears flat. He’s waiting for rejection, Hanzo realizes. Just as Hanzo always expects yelling and disappointment, Jesse is always prepared for rejection. It twists his fragile heart to think Jesse assumes he could deny him anything. Of course thoughts of Jesse have run around and around in his head during these…intimate moments alone. He doesn’t talk about it openly, but he’d hoped that Jesse would accept it, maybe encourage it. When Hanzo’s brain latches onto exactly what “help” might entail, all his blood rushes back into his face. 

“H-help?” 

Jesse glances at him lightning quick before mumbling, “I feel like maybe you weren’t, uh, loose enough? I smelled blood so…” 

“I was rushing, yes,” Hanzo admits softly. His hands seek a familiar perch on Jesse’s chest, wishing to grab at his fur under his shirt. Hanzo’s throat seizes tight while he tries to swallow. “How exactly would you help?” 

The wolf’s muzzle rubs along his undercut as grumbling noises vibrate out of Jesse’s chest. Hanzo has come to recognize these sounds as ones of happiness. Jesse’s paws slip down from his waist, the smooth and trimmed nubs of claws caressing the small of his back. Jesse’s touch remains chaste for only a brief second or two. He snags the length of flannel flowing down Hanzo’s back and drags it up, up until his paws find naked skin. Hanzo jumps when Jesse’s paws settle on his lower back, just above the swell of his ass. The wolf pulls them closer together so that his body cradles and supports most of Hanzo’s weight. Staring at Jesse’s black t-shirt, Hanzo trembles despite the warmth around him. 

“I won’t”—Jesse pauses to steady his voice, to clear his throat once or twice—”I won’t touch you if you don’t want. But I’d like to. I understand if this is too fast or too soon.” Jesse presses his face to the top of Hanzo’s head, and they sway on their feet as Jesse rocks them back and forth. “I won’t pressure you.” 

The kind of boldness that possesses one during moments of high arousal batters down the doors of Hanzo’s self control. He presses himself more firmly along Jesse’s body, tossing a request around in his head. Blue fire stirs to life behind his navel. He’s sure Jesse can smell it on him, if not feel the beginnings of an erection dragging along his thigh. Hanzo digs his nails into Jesse’s shirt as he decides his fate. He could end this at anytime, send Jesse on his way and ask him to forget about this. That would be typical for himself, Hanzo realizes. But it’s not what he wants. 

“You did not answer my question, Jesse,” he rasps. “How exactly would you help?” 

Grumbles vibrate against his face as Jesse adjusts his hold. His paws sink lower, fingertips digging into the curve of Hanzo’s cheeks to lift him up onto his toes. Hanzo scrambles to throw his arms around Jesse’s neck. Jesse jostles him higher and higher, until his fingers can easily dip between Hanzo’s cheeks. Hanzo bites his lip and smothers his face in Jesse’s shoulder. At the first graze of a smooth pad over his hole, Hanzo jumps and gasps into the wolf’s shirt. He bucks back as best he can with no purchase on the floor. Jesse’s other hand squeezes his cheek and keeps him still. There’s no penetration, but the tease of fingers rubbing circles around, dizzyingly around his sore rim is enough to get Hanzo’s head swimming. He rocks into the motion, unashamed. 

“Yes,” Hanzo pants into his shoulder. “Yes, help me.” 

Jesse hauls him up higher still, determined to tease him until he explodes. The pressure of his swipes across Hanzo’s entrance increase steadily, until he threatens to finally dip inside. Hanzo spasms in his arms. His eyes pinch shut, harder and harder until colors bloom behind his eyelids. He’s still tacky between his cheeks with lube, probably lube that slipped out he couldn’t get with the rag. The lewd thought turns the dial up on the blue flame in his stomach. It sends sparks out along his skin, concentrating where his prick is surely making a mess of Jesse’s clothes. 

“Jesse, please…” 

Chuckling into his hair, Jesse removes his teasing fingers and returns his grip to Hanzo’s ass. He scuttles them towards the bed, where he shrugs Hanzo’s arms from around his neck and dumps his boyfriend on the mattress. Hanzo sputters at the rough treatment, but a deeper chuckle from Jesse has him going still. The flannel shirt has bunched up in his struggle, and his erection peeks through the bottom of it. Hanzo wraps a hand in the material and yanks it down as best he can. Jesse bites back a fuller laugh and lets a shiver run through his body. The bulge in his jeans is obvious, and it draws Hanzo’s gaze. 

“Gonna go wash my hands and come back,” he drawls. “Get comfortable, and make sure you speak up if you’re not feelin’ it.” 

Hanzo nods on his back, watching Jesse go. Jesse smirks at him while pulling the bedroom door shut. Alone, Hanzo kicks his legs to help himself up. He bounces to the edge of the mattress and stands on quivering, weak legs. He aches between his cheeks for a different reason, now. No one beside himself has ever touched him like this, although he’s wanted this from Jesse for quite some time. Hanzo sways while approaching the forbidden closet. He throws the doors open and lets the beautiful sight of debauchery shine down on him. There’s a wedge pillow on the bottom shelf that will help keep his ass in the air so that he can relax. He’d bought it during a moment of stupid bravery, never seeing a use for it once it had arrived. Now, he thanks his past self and grabs it along with the lube he’d hidden earlier. As a second thought, he snatches the towel from the top of the hamper. It’s the only thing in there, so he shrugs and makes a second use of it. There’s no wet patch of lube anywhere he can see, so it joins the pile in his arms. The lube he places on the nightstand while tossing the wedge and towel where he wants them. Hanzo shoves his blankets and most of the pillows out of the way. He’ll keep one pillow, just for something to hold onto and maybe hide his face if he makes any noise. 

He discards Jesse’s shirt, folding it and leaving it on his desk. Giving his limbs a firm shake, Hanzo knee-walks along his bed until he’s above the wedge. It takes some adjusting and squirming to get the foam to push up his hips without trapping his cock or winding himself on it. The wide spread of his legs, letting cold air touch his feverish skin, adds to Hanzo’s embarrassment. Jesse will have a full view of everything. But he can’t let that knowledge stop him, not when he almost has what he wants. Huffing, he settles for a position and snatches the one remaining pillow. Hanzo turns his head away from the bedroom door to face the windows. He’s jittery and soft inside, the exact opposite of how he feels outside. His skin pulls tightly over bone and muscle, singing out for touch and kisses. It’s not something he’s used to, and he buries his head in the pillow when it becomes too much. He goes still on the bed when the door opens and shuts, accompanied by Jesse’s heavy footsteps. 

Hanzo clutches tightly to his pillow as the mattress dips to his right. An eye cracks open long enough for Hanzo to watch a red paw snatch the lube from the nightstand. He tries best he can to even out his breathing, but this is all new and terribly arousing to him. Fur caresses the skin inside his calves and thighs as Jesse settles between his legs. Gulping, Hanzo squirms on the wedge, knowing full well that Jesse must be giving him a thorough appraisal. Warm paws fresh from a wash drag up from the backs of his knees, up his thighs, and then bypass his ass. Jesse trails his fingers up and down this path while Hanzo’s breath continues faster and louder. 

“You’re breathin’ awful hard, Hanzo. We don’t have to do this.” 

Hanzo shakes his head, tossing his hair from side to side. He arches up, presenting himself shamelessly to Jesse. 

“I want this,” he grits out. “Please stop talking and proceed.” 

His paws finally drag against the pert flesh of Hanzo’s ass, little nubs of claws leaving burning marks in their wakes. Hanzo shutters and widens his stance, forcing his hips back down to a more natural cant. Jesse rewards him by kneading his cheeks, thumbs digging into the crease between his ass and thigh. Jesse holds him open for a few seconds—long enough for Hanzo to know he’s staring—before easing up his grip. Jesse hums tunelessly under his breath as his caresses and squeezes trail up, closer to the tops of Hanzo’s ass. His little claws have more fun up here, delicately scratching him and turning his skin bright red. Hanzo trembles all the while, shifting his hips to feel pressure on his cock. Jesse must see it there, weeping where it hangs freely. Hanzo is sure it won’t escape notice for long. 

Jesse shifts behind him, scooting away. Hanzo is tempted to glance over his shoulder, but he can’t see anything through the mist in his eyes anyway. The mattress dips further under Jesse’s weight. Breath ghosts along the buzzing skin on Hanzo’s cheek. Jesse pecks a kiss there, then another, and another until Hanzo shakes under them. He switches to the other cheek and gives it a similar treatment, although Jesse adds little swipes of his tongue to some of them. Squirming and blushing like mad, Hanzo presses his face into the pillow until he can barely breathe. Jesse lifts a paw to slide two fingers between his cheeks, not to penetrate but just to tease. Hanzo rocks back in time with them while Jesse smothers a grin into his flesh. 

“You’re beautiful, darlin’.” He kisses Hanzo again, this time much closer to the inside of his cheek. “I could just eat you up.” 

Gritting his teeth, Hanzo hisses, “Be quiet!” 

Jesse holds him open once more, and his words puff lightly over his hole. “So precious.” 

Hanzo could say no at this point. He knows that. But if Jesse is willing… He’s certainly ready for it, clean as he could possibly be. Shaking, Hanzo tucks the pillow under his chin to free his face. 

“Yes,” he whispers quietly, face on fire. “Do it.” 

A chuckle is all he gets before Jesse swipes his tongue from the space behind his balls all the way up to his hole. Pillow gone, Hanzo has nothing but open air to gasp into. To hear his own punched out gasps is better that the slick sound of Jesse’s tongue between his cheeks. Shoulders hunched, Hanzo chokes on tiny, quiet noises as Jesse laps at him. The wolf chuckles while switching to pecking kisses on his hole, tongue sneaking out to deepen them. It’s lewd for Jesse to kiss him here and mimic exactly how he normally kisses him. Jesse knows exactly what it does to him. Hanzo forgets to breathe as he tries to hold back everything. 

Jesse pinches a cheek, and that snaps him back to reality. Coughing, Hanzo jerks and twitches under Jesse’s relentless tongue. It chases circles around and around the rim, much like Jesse’s fingers had done earlier. One of Jesse’s paws holding him open shifts over, and his thumb joins in on the teasing. While Jesse’s mouth takes a break, his thumb takes up the circling around his hole. Hanzo arches his ass up to grind against the wolf’s soft pad. Pleased rumblings shaking his chest, Jesse dives back in with fast, short licks up and down his hole. Jesse growling against him adds a new sensation, and it rips moans out of Hanzo. 

“Ah! N-no, aha…” 

The sharp edge of Jesse’s teeth press against his cheek in a filthy grin. 

“No? Is that what you said?” 

Hanzo claws at his sheets as Jesse immediately goes back to humming and licking. He shakes his head and beats his fist against the mattress. 

“No, no, nooo,” he pants into the sheets. 

“Should I stop?” Jesse teases with another flick of his tongue. “I can stop whenever you want…” 

Hanzo curls in on himself, trying to bury his head in his sheets. 

“No,” he pouts. 

Jesse chuckles before kissing his hole one more time. “I was thinking of a change of pace anyway.” 

Cold lube straight from the bottle drizzles down his crack to make a mess. Hanzo jumps and turns his head to glare at Jesse. He can’t keep eye contact long, not when Jesse has that soft, vulnerable smile on his face. Lips in a thin line, Hanzo whips back around to shove his face into the sheets again. He’d slouched a bit while Jesse had pampered him, and he takes this brief pause to shuffle on his knees, bringing his ass up again. He’s overheated and tingling where Jesse had licked him. Especially where the fur on Jesse’s muzzle had tickled him. Hanzo presses his burning face into the cool sheets and sighs. Jesse’s paws squeeze and lightly pinch him up and down his thighs. The lube is still cold between his cheeks. 

“Tell me if this hurts,” Jesse warns. “Don’t wanna hurt you.” 

Hanzo sighs and wiggles his ass, waiting with what little patience he has. Paws find his cheeks again, one holding him open and the other smearing the lube around. Hanzo stifles his breathing again at the first insistent press on his hole. It’s different this time, intent behind the force. Hanzo exhales through his mouth and focuses on relaxing. He’s never been more thankful for Jesse’s trimmed, well-kept claws. He spares a thought that maybe Jesse has kept them like that for this exact purpose, but that thought flies out the window at the first dip of his finger. 

Hanzo has known since the beginning of their relationship that Jesse has blunt, thick digits. They match the rest of him, completing the fluffy, caring package. They’re far different from say Satya’s partner, Fareeha, who’d had thin fingers to match her whip-like body. He can’t think of other people right now, though, because the first knuckle brushes past his muscles, and Hanzo can’t exactly see straight. Distantly, he thanks his past self for choosing a position on his stomach. Jesse can’t see how wrecked his face is, only hear the occasional noise that slips out. And they’re terrible noises. 

He chokes back another gasp as Jesse forces more into him. He’s familiar with how wide his own fingers are, of course, but he hadn’t been ready for the size difference. Jesse’s first finger up to the second knuckle is like two of his own crammed inside him. Hanzo pants for a few, blissful seconds before biting back another groan. Jesse is warm and comforting along the backs of his legs. He sacrifices his free paw so pet up and down Hanzo’s sweaty back. It reminds Hanzo to relax. Sighing, Hanzo melts into the bed and tries to focus on how nice Jesse feels inside him. There’s still so much for them to do if Jesse truly intends to “help him” loosen up. 

Strokes short and slow, Jesse pulls down on his backstroke. It forces Hanzo open, but also gives him added pressure across his prostate. It’s nearly impossible for him to hit it dead on alone, toy or otherwise. But Jesse figures him out immediately and gives him teasing, barely there swipes across his walls every other stroke or so. Hanzo flinches and quivers after those. He couldn’t deal with constant attention to such a sensitive bundle of nerves, but Jesse treats him right. When he withdraws entirely, Hanzo grumbles in protest and makes to turn his head around to launch an interrogation. Jesse returns with more lube—warm this time—and another finger bullying his sore rim for entrance. 

They take it slower this time, with Jesse just resting his fingers inside Hanzo. It helps him get used to the fullness. Hanzo pants softly into his sheets as Jesse gives him a tiny wiggle. The wolf chuckles behind him and shifts on his knees. Again, his unoccupied paw finds purchase on Hanzo’s inner thigh and the back of his knee. He doesn’t mean to tickle, but Hanzo flinches at the ghostly caress to the soft spot behind his knee. Jesse shushes him and returns his wandering petting back to his thigh. Hanzo almost wishes Jesse would touch his cock, but he might come if that happened. And he’s not ready for that, yet. Shifting and cursing under his breath, Hanzo bucks back to urge Jesse to move. 

The wolf gets the memo. With the refreshed lube and more things inside him, the horrible noises begin. Hanzo bites his lip at the squelch of lube as Jesse moves. He knows Jesse hears it too, has hearing too acute to not notice. Forcing himself onto his elbows, Hanzo rocks back and forth with Jesse’s thrusts and lets out little gasps with them. It’s better to hear his pathetic gasps than the noises his traitorous body makes. Jesse must like the change in music, because he adds torturous, little twists to his strokes. With every rotation of his wrist, he forces Hanzo more and more open. He loses the strength to keep himself up and falls back to his chest. The sheets are cool again, and the change in temperature sends goosebumps lifting the fine hairs on his arms. Jesse’s twisting thrusts turn harsh for a few rounds, punching moans out Hanzo’s mouth. 

“Ah! A-aha, hng, nnn…” 

The brutal thrusts shift his erection to bang against the wedge under him, and Hanzo sees stars for a split second. Jesse relents after he falls silent, soon slipping from his hole again to give him a break. 

Breath rushes across his cheek before Jesse kisses it. “Ready for more?” 

Peeling his eyes open, Hanzo turns his head to suck in fresh air. His room stinks of sweat. 

“How… How much more?” 

Jesse nips his cheek this time. “However much you need. If you’re ready for your purple friend here…” 

Hanzo rockets up after that statement, half turning over to find his dildo lying on a clean hand towel from the bathroom. He glances at Jesse before staring back down at the silicone behemoth. He’d thought Jesse had just intended to get him off. How has he gone on this long without noticing the dildo there? Somehow, during their time together, the idea of Jesse using it on him hadn’t crossed Hanzo’s mind. His sore, tingling rim reminds him of exactly how much he could think recently. The image certainly short-circuits his brain, because he blinks hard while Jesse shakes him by the shoulder. 

“We don’t have to,” Jesse admits with flat ears and drooped shoulders. “If it’s too much, I underst—” 

“Do it,” Hanzo pants at him. “Might as well.” 

Jesse perks up again, tail beating against the bed. His paws grab at Hanzo’s hips and urge him to flip over, until the wedge is under the small of his back. It tilts his lower half up, leaving his legs to curl in the air. He gets a glance at Jesse—naked except for boxer briefs with a noticeable tent in them—before he loses face. Hanzo throws an arm over his eyes and thins his lips into a line. Not watching his boyfriend, Hanzo blurts out a terrible shriek when lips kiss at the precome smeared around his head. He clamps his thighs shut around Jesse’s head and glares at the wolf when he glances up. He has the nerve to pout and fake sheepishness. He strains against Hanzo’s powerful thighs to lick at him, dragging his foreskin down in the process. Face flaming once more, Hanzo lets Jesse’s head go only to force him away with a foot on his shoulder. Jesse pouts again, and Hanzo turns his head away. 

“I will come if you do that…” 

“Nobody said you only had to come once…” Jesse mumbles while arranging the lube and dildo in his paws. “We have plenty of time.” 

Hanzo scowls at him and forces him farther away with his foot. 

“It will take an unfortunate amount of time to arouse me again.” 

Jesse’s whole face falls, and he almost drops the items in his paws. His shoulders droop for real this time, and he offers Hanzo a solemn, “I’m sorry, Hanzo. I didn’t know.” 

Sighing, Hanzo drops his foot from the wolf’s furry shoulder. Head flat on the bed, Hanzo covers his eyes with his arm again. 

“I have always been that way. It is nothing new or recent.” 

“One-shot Johnny, huh?” The squelch of lube squirting out the bottle catches Hanzo’s ear, but he ignores it. “That’s okay, cuz now I know. I gotta make the best outta the one shot we get.” 

Hanzo sighs. “You are deliberately difficult.” 

Jesse smoothes a few, brief kisses on the inner side of his knee. He smiles against the skin and urges Hanzo’s legs higher. 

“You like it.” 

Hanzo chuckles at that, but it cuts to a groan. Lubed and warmed by Jesse’s paw, the tip of the dildo makes a mess between his cheeks. The head butts against his loosened hole with every slow brush, and Hanzo squirms as Jesse applies more and more force. Jesse hoists his leg higher, folding the one towards Hanzo’s chest. It leaves him truly exposed to Jesse’s sight and whim. With gravity on his side, it’s easier for Jesse to press down on the dildo’s base and force the head just inside Hanzo. Tensing now would be terrible, and Hanzo tries desperately to remain calm. A light tap to his burning cheek has Hanzo uncovering his eyes. 

A little smile on his face, Jesse nods to his legs. 

“Wrap your arms around your knees and help me keep your legs up. It’ll be easier.” 

Not fighting it, Hanzo does as he’s told. Sweat behind his knee clings to the fine hairs on his arms as he holds them to his chest. Jesse nuzzles the back of his thigh and doesn’t watch him as the dildo sinks deeper. Hanzo flings his head hard into the bed and lets a groan fly out his mouth. It’s so much better than when he’s alone. He doesn’t have to worry about his thighs shaking and giving out on him or his hand losing feeling while holding the dildo still. Jesse has more than enough stamina to let Hanzo take this nice and slow. The beastly sculpture glides through his walls, deeper and deeper until the bloated knot at the base nudges against his rim. Hanzo risks death by embarrassment and cracks open an eye. 

Thankfully, Jesse only has eyes for where he’s speared open on the sex toy. Eyes misty and half closed, Jesse groans softly when he pulls back an inch or two, watching Hanzo’s body adjust. When the toy’s knot rests menacingly at Hanzo’s entrance again, Jesse blinks and catches him watching. Hanzo drops his head back to the mattress and arches his chest, trying to put his body between himself and Jesse’s hungry gaze. Lips graze the back of his thigh again as Jesse adjusts his grip on the dildo’s base. More secure now, he pushes and pulls strokes in earnest. They’re nothing ridiculous, none of that almost pulling out only to shove back in nonsense. Hanzo enjoys Jesse’s unhurried pace and attention to detail. Once he thinks Hanzo is bored with a particular maneuver, he changes it. 

Much like his finger work earlier, Jesse adds a twist to each thrust. It swirls the raised texture on the shaft around and around Hanzo’s walls, sometimes even brushing his sweet spot. Unable to rely on his legs to move, Hanzo bucks up and strains to feel more. The attempt is feeble, but Jesse answers the call. With every twisting thrust, he lets Hanzo feel more and more of the knot press against him. He’s taken it before, but usually only when he’s in a particularly needy mood. It _is_ his largest toy, based on circumference. Having Jesse watch him take it though… Having **Jesse** be the force behind the toy, feeding it into him inch by bumpy inch… Hanzo shudders and adjusts his grip on his legs. He wants them as high as possible when Jesse gives it to him. 

A shaky thumb rubs around his stretch rim. Hanzo doesn’t even jump at the touch, just throws a blissful moan to the ceiling. Kisses pepper his inner thigh and Jesse huddles over him, holding the dildo still and firm against him. He whispers soft things to Hanzo, things he probably isn’t meant to hear. He blocks them out with more gasps and thrashing his head to bunch up the sheets. They cloud him from hearing the filthy sounds of his body giving into the toy and Jesse’s romantic mumblings. The dull burn and pressure at his rim increases as Jesse presses hard. The transition from shaft to knot isn’t that dramatic, but stretched to max already… It’s not an easy accommodation. 

A paw caresses his blushing cheek. Hanzo peels open his eyes. He shrugs to free an ear from the sheets, and he pants as Jesse watches him. 

“Too much?” 

Hanzo turns his head to muffle a whimper in Jesse’s paw. It’s the clean one, so he doesn’t mind rubbing his face all over it. Jesse rocks the knot against his entrance while he waits for an answer, drawing little gasps out of Hanzo with every push. 

“K-keep going,” he mutters. “Do it.” 

“You got it,” Jesse whispers against his thigh before kissing it again. 

He sits back up, and cooler air sweeps in to take his place. Hanzo shivers, but Jesse takes his mind off the chill. The force behind his gentle rocking turns insistent and aggressive as Jesse tries to feed the knot into him. Hanzo bottles all his noises for later and concentrates on breathing. The knots on all his toys are a challenge, but he knows he can take them all. Jesse’s thumb finds his rim again and rubs along it, trying to ease some of the pain. Hanzo jerks his hips up to meet Jesse’s bossy grinds. Through all this coaxing, Hanzo’s body finally gives in and opens just a bit more for the knot to slip in. Jesse doesn’t spare him any time to adjust and continues to push so long as Hanzo’s body doesn’t resist him. He’s unbearably full—with his toes curled and numb in the air—when Jesse finally drops his paw from the dildo’s base. 

“Sweet lord,” Jesse curses under his breath, as if he has any business panting. “You’re amazing, Hanzo.” 

Jesse’s paws sneak around his trembling thighs to pet at his stomach. His palms brush over the bump in his belly courtesy of the toy inside him, and they both flinch. It’s too much sensation for Hanzo, to feel the pressure inside **and** deal with Jesse’s careless exploration. He’d forgotten this particular toy does this to him. He knows it must be fascinating or even sexy to the wolf, but it makes Hanzo’s skin crawl. Jesse touches it again, fingers dancing around it, but Hanzo wiggles a hand free to smack him away. Glaring down his body, Hanzo shakes his head. 

“Please don’t do that.” 

Jesse nods at once and finds other places to fondle Hanzo in apology. His paws sweep up Hanzo’s shaking chest, smoothing over his sweaty skin. Hanzo lets his head fall back to the bed with a sigh. With any luck, Jesse won’t pry into his violent reaction to the bulge. Speaking of which, Hanzo shuffles on the bed and cranes his neck, trying to get an eye on Jesse’s body. Somehow, he’s still hard in his boxer brief, with a wet spot staining the front. Thanks to pornography, he’s seen plenty of wolfmen cocks, but this is Jesse. He happens to have a special attachment to _this_ wolf. Hanzo bucks and whines until Jesse lifts his head from planting meandering kisses wherever he can reach. 

“Your underwear… Off.” 

Jesse sputters out a laugh after a split second of silence. Hanzo scowls at him—not enjoying being laughed at—and squirms harder. 

Jesse presses one last kiss to the back of his thigh before scooting off the edge of the bed. 

“I heard you, I heard you.” He makes quick work of the offending underwear, stepping out of them with his hands on his hips. “Better?” 

Hanzo grunts something that Jesse takes as a yes. He practically jumps back on the bed to tower above Hanzo’s bent form. Jesse waves away his hands from behind his knees and takes them himself. He curls over Hanzo and hoists his pale legs over both shoulders. It shifts the toy in him and lights a spark along his spine. Hanzo groans without breath to Jesse’s neck above him. Like this, Jesse has him bent in half still. Kisses rain down on his flushed face. With his paws free, Jesse allows himself to explore Hanzo’s body, mindful of the bump he’d been chased away from. Hanzo suspects the wolf’s ultimate goal is his ruddy, leaking erection. Jesse is usually pretty obvious about what he wants, and when a paw wraps around his hard flesh, it doesn’t surprise Hanzo at all. 

"Mmm, Jesse,” he sighs. “I am ready. Please…” 

Jesse snuffles against his ear and moves his paw without more begging from Hanzo. He drags moisture from the head down and around, easing his strokes. His other paw wanders down to the flat base of the dildo, where he rocks his fist against the firm silicone. Hanzo gasps and writhes as Jesse bullies the knot into his walls, pulling and pushing at his rim. Hanzo’s claw-like hands seek purchase in the fur on Jesse’s back. His short nails dig through the warm fur until they find skin underneath. Jesse lets loose something like a howl as Hanzo carves up his back. His paw working over Hanzo’s cock picks up speed, squeezing harder and taking plenty of swipes at the dark head. He never stops rocking the knuckles of his other fist against the dildo, torturing Hanzo from all angles. 

“J-Jesse, mmm,” Hanzo gasps as everything behind his navel tightens painfully. He falls in and out of languages, mixing them at the ends while begging pitifully. Finally when English surfaces triumphantly, he sobs, “Please!” 

It’s the only warning Hanzo can spit out before the muscles above his pubic hair jump and spasm. The fullness in his ass and Jesse’s generous strokes to his cock are too much, and he can’t breathe while coming. He clutches tightly to Jesse’s back and shakes and shakes until he nearly rips apart at the seams. The first breath he can suck in is a wrecked, ragged thing right in Jesse’s ear. The wolf lets out his own groan into Hanzo’s neck where he’d tucked his head at the first signs of Hanzo’s orgasm. When their heads clear, they both look down to find his cock still painfully hard and almost nothing spilled on his stomach. Hanzo shakes under Jesse’s form, scared for the first time since they started, but Jesse hums his fears away. 

“Give me a tick, darlin’.” 

Jesse gets a firm paw around the base of the dildo and tries to dislodge it. Hanzo jumps at the shift in pressure, sure he’s about to explode a second time. That isn’t possible, his brain yells at him in a panic. Jesse grits his teeth and firms up his grip. Hanzo’s body can’t fight that kind of strength, and the knot finally pops free of his hole. Finally empty, Hanzo cries out and collapses on the bed. Built up and trapped behind the pressure of the sex toy, his come lands up around his collarbones, copious and white. He floats for a while, unsure of where his body is or who **he** is for that matter. A final sigh erupts from Hanzo’s lips as he reconnects with the universe. He tingles from the roots of his hair all the way to his toes. They cramp as he tries to unroll them, and he has to flex the little digits to get feeling in them again. With the exception of his sore ass, Hanzo’s body swims in the blissful afterglow of a hard earned orgasm. A cold nose touches his knee, and it shocks Hanzo to open his eyes. 

Jesse smiles at him where he’s still kneeling between Hanzo’s legs. When Hanzo returns the smile, Jesse chuckles and pecks more kisses to his skin. Hanzo blinks the mist from his eyes and allows his gaze to travel aimlessly around Jesse’s tousled fur. His gaze eventually wanders bashfully to the erection still waiting, still hard as it had been the last time Hanzo had seen it. He marvels at Jesse’s ability to remain aroused without direct contact. It’s not something he’s capable of. Gulping down cool air, Hanzo lifts a trembling hand to pet at the long locks of fur spilling over Jesse’s forehead. 

“Hey there, Hanzo,” Jesse murmurs while trying to catch Hanzo’s fingers in his mouth. “Welcome back.” 

Hanzo finds enough voice in him to hum, but otherwise he can’t manage much else. He sits up, regretting it as his ass kindly reminds him of the brutality it’s recently suffered. At some point while he’d floated between worlds Jesse had knocked the wedge out from under him. It makes him reaching for Jesse much easier. He paws at Jesse’s legs with shaking fingers. Jesse catches his wrists and holds them away from where Hanzo would eventually stray. Hanzo flicks his head to toss his hair out of his eyes and stares up at Jesse. He doesn’t like how Jesse has stopped him from returning his generous gesture. Hanzo grunts and struggles, but Jesse’s grip is firm. Hanzo tries a pitiful whine, but all he gets is the gentle shake of Jesse’s head. 

“This ain’t about me,” he murmurs roughly. “I wanted this to be all about you, sweetpea. I don’t need that from you.” 

Jesse’s grip on his wrists let up, and Hanzo yanks them away. Pouting, he flops back on the bed with his legs still spread wide. He crosses his arms over his chest and refuses to look at Jesse. Anger creeping into his afterglow, Hanzo kicks his weak legs until he send the wedge over the edge of the mattress. Free of it, Hanzo plants his feet firmly in the bed and waggles a finger at Jesse, beckoning him forward. The wolf refuses with a shake of his head. Out of ideas and out of strength, Hanzo uses the only weapon he has: himself. 

Craning a leg up as high as he can, Hanzo’s shaky fingers seek out the loose pucker of his hole. Jesse watches him like a hawk as he dips three fingers in with no resistance. This won’t arouse Hanzo again, can’t as he’s found out before. But it might coax Jesse to at least share his experience and come. On the verge of exhaustion, Hanzo can’t do much other than buck up against his fingers. There’s just enough lube left to make it pleasant. He whines and makes all the noises his mouth had tried to pour out earlier, whispering Jesse’s name and pleases. Jesse grits his teeth and digs his fingers into his thighs. He watches Hanzo until he can’t take it anymore. 

Jesse’s paw finds Hanzo’s wrist once again, and he yanks Hanzo’s fingers out of himself. Pinning the wrist to the bed, Jesse slots himself between Hanzo’s legs and lets his heavy erection jut between their bodies. Hanzo sighs—partially getting what he’d wanted—and challenges Jesse’s narrow-eyed stare. He doesn’t bother trying to fight the wolf’s grip on his wrist, knowing this is no play fight. Hanzo bucks up to give some friction to Jesse’s cock, and the wolf hisses while pressing down, too. 

“Hanzo, please,” he begs. “That don’t matter…” 

Mouth weak, Hanzo slurs, “I want you to. Not…fair.” 

Jesse sighs in his face before staring deeply into his eyes. Hanzo offers the best pout he can, too exhausted to do much else. Jesse leans closer to nuzzle the side of his face, leaving him with a little kiss, too. 

“Fine,” he sighs. “If you want me to come, I will.” 

Jesse stays between his spread eagle legs and wastes no time in touching himself. In the future, Hanzo will demand the full show, but he’s just happy Jesse gave in. His eyes flick back and forth between Jesse’s face and his cock. Jesse must think about him doing this, just like Hanzo fantasizes about Jesse in turn. Hanzo watches in wonder as little beads form and roll down his massive prick. Hanzo’s eyes flutter shut as he imagines the heavy weight of it in his hand, how Jesse is probably too big to fit in his mouth. Hanzo bites his lip, worrying right then that maybe Jesse’s too big to fuck him. But he stamps down that fear and locks the door on it. They would find a way, if that were true. 

Jesse muffles his grunts by biting his lip and locking his teeth together. His gaze dances around Hanzo’s sweaty skin, always drawn back to where he's sore and red between his cheeks. Growling, Jesse lifts his free paw from the bed and once again hoists Hanzo’s leg in the air. When he hears no protest, Jesse jumps up onto his haunches and kneels above his boyfriend’s thoroughly used ass. Hanzo watches his face screw up in concentration and tries to imagine what Jesse sees or what he must be thinking. Hanzo blinks to clear his eyes again and focuses on the vicious, pounding strokes of Jesse’s paw. Jesse lifts his leg higher still, peeling apart his cheeks just like that. Hanzo whimpers, but it falls on deaf ears. Jesse scoots closer to him, and the velvety, blood-hot head of his prick drags across his hole. 

Hanzo jumps and yelps pitifully, “Jesse!” 

The wolf shushes him while rutting between his cheeks, spreading a bigger mess behind his balls. 

“So close, darlin’,” he pants. “Almost…” 

The nudges of Jesse’s cock along his hole sends Hanzo’s body rocking with him. It's blunt and molten-metal hot, thicker than the toy they'd just used. Every bump against his rim is like a little kiss. Hanzo's toes curl again while anticipation mounts. Neck twitching, Hanzo drops his head to the sheets and bottles his noises. He'd rather hear Jesse’s panting and grunting, now. The wolf’s rough breathing hits a high point before warmth splashes between his cheeks. Hanzo jumps again, but it barely looks like a flinch to anyone else. Jesse rests his muzzle along the toned muscle of Hanzo’s calf, panting as he finishes. His orgasm spurts out where his head rests snugly against Hanzo’s entrance. There’s plenty to go around though and it soon overflows, slipping down Hanzo’s ass and spilling on the towel under him. Grunting, Jesse uncoils his paw from around his sensitive cock and gathers the escaping come on his fingers. Swiping up Hanzo’s crack, he pushes what he's collected past the puffy ring of Hanzo’s hole and glides back inside. Hanzo clenches around him and jumps again, but Jesse just sinks deeper and deeper with the help of his come. 

Hanzo whines—practically mews—and squirms while Jesse continues thrusting his thick fingers. Meanwhile, Jesse stumbles back to his knees, rocking the bed in the process. Lowering Hanzo’s leg to dangle over his shaking shoulder, Jesse seeks warm flesh with his lips. He trails kisses and little bites down Hanzo’s inner thigh. When he draws closer and closer to the junction where thigh meets cheek, Hanzo grows suspicious. He wiggles on Jesse’s fingers in an attempt to dislodge them. His struggle only causes the bumps of Jesse's knuckles to drag along his abused sweet spot, sending a mixed signal of pain and pleasure up his spine. Hanzo cracks open his weak eyes to glare at Jesse and finds the wolf’s attention fully focused where his fingers still sink in and out. His mouth is rather close to ground zero as well. 

Hanzo forces his other leg up until he can push Jesse away. Jesse spares his foot a glance as it nudges him on the shoulder. His glance is lazy and molten when it slides down to Hanzo’s eyes. 

Hanzo’s stomach heaves with every breath as he whispers, “If you do what I think you're about to do… I will never kiss you again.” 

Jesse pouts. “I ate you out once before, what's stopping me now?” 

Hanzo’s brain trips over Jesse’s vulgar words, and he has to look away. 

“This is enough debauchery for one day. And were we not supposed to have lunch? Are you not hungry?” 

Jesse nips him particularly hard on his inner thigh and presses a nasty grin to the bruise. 

“Starving.” 

Hanzo rolls his eyes and forces the wolf even farther away with his foot. In retaliation, Jesse deliberately curls his fingers to knock his knuckles along Hanzo’s sweet spot. It jars Hanzo, and he nearly kicks Jesse on accident. Avoiding the close blow to the head, Jesse chuckles at Hanzo’s honest body, but his mouth pulls down when he sees his boyfriend completely flaccid between his legs. It's only then that he lets his bullying fingers finally slip out and leave Hanzo alone. Hanzo twitches on nothing before finally collapsing on the bed, boneless and buzzing from his navel and down. Jesse’s paws once again wander up and down his legs, but he barely feels it. Jesse shifts away for a split second before forming a fluffy, warm wall along Hanzo’s right side. A muzzle settles above his head, and the vibrations from Jesse’s voice tickle his ears. 

“Had to try for myself, to see if I could get you interested in another round.” He huffs and wiggles closer to Hanzo, throwing a heavy leg over him. “But you were right. I see that now.” 

A smirk blooms on Hanzo's slack face, and he mutters, “I happen to be the authority on everything ‘me’ related. I told you so.” 

“Yea, yea,” Jesse sighs, defeated. “So since that's a bust… What did you have in mind for lunch?” 

Hanzo hums and tries to peel his eyes open, but they refuse. 

“Hmm, sushi sounds good.” 

Jesse sags beside him and whines, “I'm so hungry, darlin’.” 

Jesse’s pitiful crying gives Hanzo enough energy to open an eye, which twinkles at Jesse. He smiles at the wolf and rolls away despite the weight of his furry leg. 

“You pick, then. You will have plenty of time to decide while I shower.” 

Jesse sits up on his elbow, curling his naked body around Hanzo's back. Hanzo turns his face towards the sheets to hide his embarrassingly large smile. 

“A shower, huh?” 

Flinging a hand out, Hanzo twists his fingers in Jesse’s chest fur and pulls him closer. 

“Yes, but only room for one. We would not fit together nor accomplish any ‘showering.’” 

Jesse grumbles into the nape of his neck, tickling the short hairs there. 

“It'd be different if we were at my house. Shower’s huge there. With a tub I never use.” His paws slip around Hanzo’s hips to sandwich them together. “We should spend more time there. I'll give you a key. Come n go as you please.” 

Hanzo had been on the way to covering Jesse’s paws with his hands, but he freezes halfway there. 

“A key?” 

Jesse shrugs. “Sure. Why not? I want you around more. We can chill out, spend the night there. You can sleep in my bed… This is gonna sound selfish, but I really want you there all the time.” He snuffles against Hanzo’s hair. “I like when you smell like me.” 

Liquid and unstable inside, Hanzo tries to curl up to protect himself. He bites his lip at the rising tide of emotions in his gut and mutters, “You are insatiable.” 

A grin blossoms on the nape of his neck. 

“So, is that a yes? I was thinking burgers, by the way. I know this great place that makes ‘em big and juicy.” 

Thankful for the change in topic, Hanzo snorts while pulling Jesse’s paws off him. His ass complains when he goes to sit on the edge of the mattress, but he must get up and bathe. He's sticky all over. 

“I suppose they'll have something for me on the menu. Water, perhaps?” 

Jesse’s arms whip out faster than Hanzo can move. They snag him around the waist and drag him back to the bed. It knocks the wind out of him, but other than that he enjoys it. He often misplaces the knowledge that Jesse can pick him up and move him without true effort. He never forgets, can't forget when his skin still sings where the wolf has grabbed him. Simply misplaces. He's in a daze once again with his back flat on the bed. Jesse chuckles above him while pinning him to the mattress using just the weight of his body. 

“Don't be like that, sweetheart,” Jesse teased him. “They have lots of things. I know you'll like it.” 

Hanzo doesn't struggle, simply lifts an eyebrow at him. Jesse’s nose is scant inches from his own, and he jerks up to bump them together. That gets Jesse’s grin to melt into a syrupy smile, and he dives down to rain kisses on Hanzo’s face. Hanzo covers his mouth before Jesse can kiss him there, mindful of the things they've just done. When snout meets hand, Jesse stops his celebratory kisses and pouts. His ears even drop and his tail stops tapping the bed. Hanzo rolls his eyes again. 

“Wash your mouth before you kiss me.” 

His tail goes back to happily wagging at that. Jesse lies down to cover him, leaving Hanzo’s face free. The wolf is a furnace above him, but with the heat set low to his convenience, he doesn't mind. Jesse shifts on top of him and nuzzles his hair. Hanzo busies his hands on whatever fur he can reach. He itches to shove the wolf off—gently, but still off—so that he can be clean again. But there's other weight settling over them, other than Jesse’s physical presence. 

“I meant what I said,” the wolf mumbles after a stretch of silence. “I want you in my house as much as I can get. I miss you too much when we can't see each other.” 

Hanzo's gut instinct is to offer a humorous retort or to call Jesse a romantic fool. But he misses Jesse all the time, too. Especially since their first night sharing the wolf’s bed at the beginning of the year. A key to his home, though? Hanzo's fingers tighten in the curls of fur they've sunk into. Would anything actually change in their relationship? Just because he'd _have_ a key doesn't mean he'd use it. There's still privacy to consider. But on reflecting the events of the past hour or so, Hanzo imagines there's not much “private” left between them. This would be a natural step in a relationship, he assumes. He ruminates on it, but all the silence does is worry Jesse. He sits up enough to look Hanzo in the eye. 

“Would you take it, if I gave it to you?” 

Hanzo finds the courage to stare his boyfriend back in the eye. Usually, such bravery slips his grasp, so he makes use of it while it sticks around. 

“I would try…” Jesse’s cold nose bumps his cheek, and he smiles. “You forget, I am unused to this kind of affection. This would mean a great deal to me.” 

“One step at a time,” Jesse agrees, lips tickling his ear. “First step bein’ a shower for you, and then food.” 

Hanzo flings his head back with a laugh. “What a one-track mind you have.” 

Jesse’s legs flop on the bed, and he fake cries into Hanzo's shoulder, “I said I was starvin’!” 

Kissing the top of his furry head, Hanzo sighs and points out, “That is your fault.” 

Pouting again, Jesse sits up and finally frees Hanzo from his weight. He scoots off the bed and bends down in search of his underwear. Hanzo cranes his head up just enough to appreciate the view. By the time Jesse turns around, he's rolled to the edge and sat up again. There's still a silly pout on Jesse’s muzzle when Hanzo stands, too. 

“There are snacks in the kitchen which you may have.” He throws the bedroom door open clad in only his skin, knowing full well that Jesse watches him limp away. “I won't be long.” 

Once inside the bathroom, Hanzo’s knees turn rubbery. He has to lean his back on the door. So much had happened, and everything still needs further processing. Hanzo swallows the lump in his throat and stumbles to the shower. He can't even muster a blush as he yanks the soft tubing free of the faucet and sets it aside where he won't trip on it. Steam fills the small room soon enough, and Hanzo attempts to sort his feelings out while standing in a cloud. The hot water does the muscles of his back and legs a service, but he hesitates to slide a hand between his cheeks. That bit of himself requires the most attention, but he's unwilling to deal with it yet. The hot water is too good, still. The door handle jiggling and squeak of the hinge opening interrupts that bit of serenity. Jesse’s silhouette casts a grey shadow on him through the curtain. 

“Can I assist you?” Hanzo asks with a sigh. 

“Lookin’ for mouthwash.” 

Hanzo turns his face into the spray and mutters, “Medicine cabinet,” before letting the water cascade down from his forehead. 

Following his directions, the medicine cabinet creaks as it opens. He knows the mouthwash should be front and center, used and refilled often. Jesse picks at the child safety cap with his blunt fingers and curses a few times under his breath. Still under a curtain of water, Hanzo does nothing but smile. Finally, Jesse gets the cap loose and tosses some back without the bottle touching his lips. This goes unnoticed by Hanzo, but he would appreciate the attention to detail from his boyfriend. There’s no fanfare or playing about as he swishes generously before spitting in the sink. Hanzo opens his mouth a bit to prevent Jesse from throwing the faucet open to rinse the sink, but the wolf beats him to it. Thankfully, the water temperature barely changes. Hanzo spits water from his lips as he steps back from the spray. 

A furry paw peeking around the plastic is his only warning before the wolf crashes his moment of peace.  
  
Water, fur, and human go everywhere as Jesse nearly drags them to the tub floor with his enthusiasm. Hanzo can do nothing but sputter as Jesse’s paws seek places where he’s ticklish. They’re vicious and invincible, but Jesse knows when to let up. Hanzo is nearly breathless when Jesse relents and just holds him close. Jesse hunches down enough to peck a simple kiss on Hanzo’s lips, but Hanzo drags him by the fur for a deeper one. It’s spearmint and fresh, and Jesse is as generous with his kisses as he is everything else. And for once, anger and shame do not rise from the depths of him, pitchforks at the ready. He laughs with Jesse’s deep rumble, especially when the water soaks him and gives him the look of a drowned rat. All the complexities they've now roped each other into seem insignificant when Hanzo has a water fight to win. And he is a terribly sore loser.


	5. Whine and Dine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's been a month, and I've hit a major energy block on this. I hesitate to call it writer's block, simply because I *know* what happens to end this fic. I literally just don't have the energy or motivation to write it. And the last chapter was getting SUPER LONG, so I split it. Relationship building and lots of fluff in this chapter. Chapter six is the smut, THE DO, so yea. Sorry.
> 
> Warning in this chapter for unsafe driving conditions. There's no wreck, but Jesse is driving through heavy snow, so if dangerous driving make you feel icky, you can kinda skip around. You won't miss much, just Jesse wooing a panicky Hanzo with his car knowledge. 
> 
> Wanna make it official? [Follow this](http://missgillette.tumblr.com)

Hanzo sighs to the ceiling as Genji holds up another shirt to his front only to throw it on the bed with the “no” pile. Genji hums while rubbing the material of a knit sweater between his fingers. He eyes Hanzo while plastering the garment to his chest. He stands back, hands on his hips, before he nods to the sweater. 

“Try that on. I wanna see how your chest and shoulders look in it.” 

Defeated, Hanzo whips off his lazying around t-shirt and slips the grey sweater on as asked. Genji curls a finger over his lips as he appraises Hanzo’s slumped posture. He twirls that finger in a circle after a few seconds. 

“Give us a spin.” 

“Why?” Hanzo groans, doing as he's told anyway. 

“Wanna see how tiny this makes your waist. Gotta show off the goods, you know? Where are those jeans you wore to the bar? They made your ass look nice…” 

“Please do not talk about my body like we’re at a meat market.” Hanzo rubs a hand over his face. “I don't understand the point of this. Jesse will not care about any of this.” 

Genji’s head pokes out of the wardrobe, and he pouts. 

“I care. I want one of us to get laid, for crying out loud. This dry spell is killing me.” 

Hanzo catches the jeans thrown at him and scowls at them. 

“These are tight on me.” 

Genji flops on the edge of his bed, mindful of the discard pile, and waves a hand at him. 

“Skip dessert, then.” 

Frown deepening on his face, Hanzo scowls at Genji while yanking the jeans on. 

“Not in that way,” he grunts. “And I am **not** skipping dessert.” 

Genji hums on the bed while giving Hanzo another once over. He twirls his finger again, and Hanzo obliges him with a stiff shuffle about. 

“Where are you guys going again?” Genji stands up only to kneel in front of Hanzo and tug the skinny legs of the jeans down. “Fondue?” 

“Jesse found it. It’s not fine dining, but it will be the nicest restaurant we’ve been to thus far.” 

Jeans sorted, Genji pops back up to his full height and spins Hanzo around. They face a mirror Genji had brought and propped against the wall. It reflects their image back from their faces all the way to their shins. Hanzo frowns at their reflections, but Genji crowds against his back and smiles at them. 

“You're gonna have so much fun, brother. Spare me the gritty details, but you'll have to tell me how the actual dinner goes.” 

- 

“Uh, reservation for Jesse McCree? At 7?” 

The hostess behind the counter smiles and nods, making small talk with Jesse. Hanzo finds a seat on the two benches the restaurant has for waiting. This whole area is too small, Hanzo decides. If there were a larger party waiting it would be a hazard. There’s lounge music playing softly, and Hanzo hopes the volume stays low once they’re at a table. If he leans forward, he can see the bar through the one passage from the waiting area into the restaurant proper. The decor is nice enough, although too dark in the waiting room. Hanzo watches the hostess squint at her computer. The light on the monitor nearly blinds her. If they’d just turn a lamp on for her… 

The hostess whispers to another employee as Jesse nudges Hanzo’s knee with his leg. Jesse’s paw is within easy reach. Hanzo lifts his hand and rests his fingers in the loose curl of Jesse’s fingers. He flinches, not actually paying attention to Hanzo, before trapping his boyfriend’s fingers in his fist. Hanzo snorts as Jesse grins down at him, stuffed pleasantly into another plaid monstrosity with the sleeves already rolled up. It’s deathly cold outside, and yet Jesse has already peeled his coat off. Hanzo sits in his leather jacket and grey sweater Genji had picked out. Jesse’s paw holding his hand is warm and firm, just how Hanzo likes it. 

They’re seated shortly after the little trade of affection. Jesse gestures for Hanzo to walk in front, following the hostess who leads them to their table. Once there, Hanzo considers which side to sit on as Jesse crowds in behind him. He’d rather not have his back to the door, so he chooses the bench against the little half wall that encloses their booth. Jesse takes the other without a comment, only a warm smile on his muzzle. Their coats hang on a hook in the half wall, and when Hanzo glances down at the other booths around them, he finds each table as a place for coats. He hums, impressed, and slides into the booth. There’s a step up to the booth, raising the setup even higher. When Hanzo sits, his feet can’t touch the floor of the booth. His feet kick softly under the table, and a snort from Jesse catches his attention. 

“Your foot touched my leg. Are you swinging under here?” 

He makes to look under the table while still staring at Hanzo, a tease sparkling in those golden eyes. Hanzo gets his foot on Jesse’s knee to stop him. 

“We can leave, if you’re going to be like that,” Hanzo mumbles. 

Jesse bites back another laugh and sits properly in the booth. 

“And miss out on watchin’ you eat this delicious food we’re about to get? Not a chance, darlin’.” 

Humming, Hanzo lifts one of the heavy menus the hostess had left with them. The binding is some sort of fake leather, dark to match the incredibly dim light of the restaurant. The pages inside detail how they can order: a four-course meal, cheese fondue, or chocolate fondue. Hanzo knows Jesse had brought him here for the full experience, so he skips to the part of the menu that delves deeper into the four-course meal. He frowns as he reads, unsure exactly of how this works. When he opens his mouth to ask Jesse, their waiter appears at his elbow. 

Hanzo sits quietly as Jesse makes small talk with him. When the waiter asks for drinks, Jesse hands the two wine glasses on his side to the man and orders a beer. The young man turns to Hanzo with a neutral smile, and he orders water. He mimics Jesse and gathers the two wines glasses around him and hands them over. The idea that four people are meant to share this tiny booth rubs Hanzo the wrong way. It’s cozy and intimate with just Jesse, but if there were two others with them… Hanzo wrinkles his nose at the thought and rejects it wholly. 

“So, he didn’t explain the menu yet, but he will. Unless you want me to? I’ve been here enough times…” 

“Yes,” Hanzo begins while opening the menu flat. He’s mindful of the hot plate in the middle of the table. Their waiter had warned them about it while turning it on. “I’m not sure how to order? It seems like we share everything?” 

Jesse leans forward to read the menu with Hanzo, although it’s upside down for him. A finger points to each section of the four-course meal: cheese appetizer, salad, entree, dessert. 

“So how this works is that we share the cheese, the uh...broth the meats are cooked in, and the dessert. So we gotta agree on cheese and chocolate, which shouldn’t be a problem. I’ll eat anything here, so just pick something for us, okay?” 

Hanzo glances up and meets Jesse’s smirk and golden eyes over the menu. He bows his head again to hide his own smile. A happy grumble from Jesse’s chest makes it to his ears before Jesse picks up his explanation. 

“Now, for the entree, you pick whatever you wanna eat. There’s a bunch of options here, and you get four little chucks of every kind of meat with whatever one you pick. That don’t sound like a lot, but you’ll definitely be full once we leave.” 

Hanzo nods and asks, “Dessert?” 

“Oh yea, our waiter will actually bring out a smaller menu that is just the desserts. We’ll pick a chocolate to share and they give us things to dip in it. Fruit, marshmallows, little cubes of brownies… All kinds of things that’ll rot your teeth out.” 

Hanzo groans quietly and leans his back into the booth. 

“I can’t wait.” 

A careful pressure along his ankle startles Hanzo, but he manages not to kick Jesse under the table. The wolf has enough shame to duck his head and flatten his ears, but his tail flopping in the booth next to him gives his happiness away. Grumbling, Hanzo pokes around with his foot until he finds Jesse again. He nudges his boyfriend back before returning to his side of the table. Jesse has other ideas, even as the waiter returns with their drinks and to take their order. Hanzo scrambles for the menu to pick out what they’ll share as Jesse’s foot finds the inside of his calf. Hanzo stumbles over his words only once. With a foot on Jesse’s knee, Hanzo drives his wandering leg back to his side. Hanzo offers their waiter a smile as he orders a their cheese, his salad, their cooking style, and his own entree. Jesse makes a swift return under the table, and the round end of his boot grazes the inside of Hanzo’s knee. Even reciting his choice of entree doesn’t take Jesse’s attention away from teasing Hanzo under the table. It’s maddening. 

“Thank you, gentlemen, I’ll be back shortly with your cheese!” 

Hanzo keeps the polite smile on his face until the waiter disappears around the corner. The moment he’s gone, Hanzo bares his teeth at Jesse and gets both his feet on the wolf’s knees. 

“Stay on your side of the table.” 

Jesse bites his lower lip and squirms under Hanzo’s feet. 

“I am, darlin’. I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.” 

“You know very well what I am ‘talkin’ about.’” Hanzo mocks Jesse’s soft drawl at the end, throwing his gaze towards the ceiling. Hanzo crosses his arms over his chest while adding, “And keep your feet to yourself.” 

Jesse laughs, hushed and restrained, before turning his glittering eyes on Hanzo. Hanzo’s arms relax some in front of his chest at that vulnerable, open glance Jesse shoots him. It’s easy to drop his feet from pinning Jesse’s knees to the booth, and a blush rises to his face over how mean he’d been about it. He opens his mouth to offer an apology for his gruff behavior, but Jesse shifts forward and breaks his courage. Paws facing up, Jesse curls his fingers to urge Hanzo to take them. Hanzo does after a moment of hesitation. Jesse’s fingers fold around Hanzo’s hands as he rests them in Jesse’s palms. The wolf blinks down at their hands, sighs, and lifts his head to look at Hanzo again. 

“I love you, Hanzo.” 

He fights to keep the smile on his face, but Jesse’s admission winds him. Jesse’s expression doesn’t change any, but he drops his gaze back to their hands. His fingers pet what skin he can reach, and he squeezes Hanzo’s hands again. Hanzo’s stomach flips as he replays Jesse’s deep voice in his head, saying that line over and over. So many emotions pool in his stomach, filling him up until his heart is in his throat. Hanzo’s mouth falls open a few times only for him to close it without having said anything. When Jesse turns his gaze up to watch Hanzo’s face, that stubborn smile is still there. 

“Don’t worry about how you feel, Hanzo. I just wanted you to know. And, uh, I won’t say it if it—” 

“No,” Hanzo charges ahead before Jesse can finish that sentence. “I do not want that. I want…” 

Jesse cocks his head as his smile turns sappy on his face. He sits up a bit from the table, jostling it a bit with his stomach. He rolls his eyes at Hanzo before bending down and lifting their hands at the same time. Curled awkwardly above the table, Jesse kisses the backs of Hanzo’s hands before plopping back in his seat. Hanzo’s face heats up, warmth creeping down his throat and up to his ears. He’d found the dim lighting of the restaurant annoying up until this moment. Now, he’s thankful as it hides the terrible, deep blush staining his cheeks. Jesse chuckles on his side of the booth and releases Hanzo’s hands after one last squeeze. 

“I love you, darlin’. And I’ll never get tired of saying it.” 

Hanzo sneaks his hands under the table to twist his fingers together. They still buzz at the tips where Jesse had held him. His heart jumps painfully in his chest, and Hanzo takes a few seconds to suck in deep breaths, calming down. Jesse winks at him over the rim of his glass. Hanzo thinks to make small talk, to maybe ask Jesse how the beer is. But all his mouth wants to do is smile at Jesse every time he tries to talk. The wolf almost snorts in his beer. Setting it down and away from the warm burner, Jesse throws his arms along the back of the booth and gives Hanzo a nod. 

“I like what you wore tonight. Looks good on you.” 

Hanzo thanks Jesse in his head for starting the small talk. 

“Yes, ah, you will have to thank my brother Genji for this. He helped.” 

Jesse’s arms drop from the booth, only for his elbows to find the table and support his massive head. 

“Aww, that’s sweet. Well, Genji has good taste.” 

Hanzo huffs and leans forward on the table, too. He won’t dig his arms into it like a delinquent, but he’ll rest them there just to get closer to Jesse. 

“It is an annoying process, being regarded like a piece of meat.” Hanzo twists his fingers together and frowns at Jesse’s elbows. “But I will admit that Genji has an eye for this. He dressed me for the speed date, too, when we first met.” 

Jesse whistles. “Damn. Is your brother a personal assistant or something? Fashion designer?” 

“Video game tester,” Hanzo mumbles. “But playing dress up was a favorite game of his when we were children. It all makes sense, now.” 

Their conversation is interrupted by the return of their waiter carrying a stand and tray of ingredients. Hanzo watches silently as the young man whisks and mixes the cheeses, garlic, and other ingredients together. The waiter mostly smiles and chatters with Jesse, which Hanzo is happy to allow. Jesse is more comfortable here, more outgoing than him in any situation. Hanzo enjoys watching the way Jesse smiles at a comment the waiter makes, the way his eyes sparkle in the dark as he talks. The waiter leaves them to their cheese sooner than Hanzo realizes. He only notices when Jesse picks up the bowl of vegetables on his side and dumps them in the cheese. Hanzo has a long fondue fork in his hand, watching with an eyebrow lifted. 

“Oh, the veggies aren’t cooked or nothing. Just washed. So I like to dump them in the cheese and let ‘em soften up. Eat however you want, darlin’! Don’t mind me.” 

Jesse grins at him a bit sheepishly while mixing the cheese around with his long fork. Hanzo eyes all the little bits of food up for grabs. There’s a larger bowl full of bread for both of them, and their waiter had given them each a smaller bowl with apple slices—of all things—and of course vegetables. Hanzo spears a chunk of apple and nibbles on it. He can’t see how this Granny Smith would be good in cheese. He’d rather just eat the apple. Jesse pushes his little bowl of apples closer to Hanzo with that same grin still on his face. 

“Apples don’t settle well with me. Make my throat itchy.” 

Hanzo clears his mouth of food before asking, “Perhaps you have an allergy? Although I’ve never heard of an allergy to apples…” 

Jesse shrugs while stabbing at a cheese-soaked piece of broccoli. He bites his lip to stifle a groan before dragging the tasty morsel into his waiting jaws. Hanzo sputters behind his hand as Jesse abandons all decency and bangs his paw on the table. Thanks to the high backrests of the booth, he can't see if anyone cocks their head around to glare or stare. Hanzo stifles a laugh behind his head as he watches Jesse pick out a piece of cauliflower and give it the same treatment, with the same result. Once he's back under control, the next piece of food Jesse drags out he offers to Hanzo. Hanzo shakes his head, biting his lip as he glances around for nosy onlookers again. Jesse pouts and whines, all of it terribly childish and loud for the hushed restaurant. Hanzo throws his gaze to the ceiling and finally relents. His blush renews as he leans around the cheese pot and burner, allowing Jesse’s fork into his mouth. Jesse grins at him the whole time, especially when cheese ends up in Hanzo's beard for his troubles. A napkin takes care of that, but the damage is done. 

“Delicious, ain't it? Come on, admit it.” 

Smile hidden behind the napkin, Hanzo composes himself before lowering it. Jesse’s tail banging softly on the booth’s seat foils that plan, and his lips tick up at the edges. 

“It was passable.” 

“Pft, all right, I see how you are. Just wait until we get to the meat if you thought this was only ‘passable.’” 

Hanzo tries to bottle a giggle at Jesse’s phrasing, but it snorts out of him as he tears his eyes away. Jesse blinks at him, mouth half open, before catching on to what's just happened. The wolf breaks out in a biggest grin of the night so far and wheezes as he laughs. 

“Holy cow, did you just make a joke? Or try to? Darlin’ please, I'm a weak man.” Jesse watches him with teary eyes and that damn smile. “My heart can't take it.” 

Hanzo smothers his own piece of broccoli in cheese while they calm down. 

“It can and it will,” he commands. “You are the one who said it, not me.” 

Conversation comes easier now that they've had a laugh to break the ice. Their salads come and go with either man barely stopping to eat it. The waiter refills Hanzo’s water while he’s there and offers to bring Jesse another beer. The wolf takes him up on that, and the waiter excuses himself again. While he’s gone, Hanzo can’t help but tease Jesse. 

“Planning on me driving your giant car home? You know I don’t have a license, right?” 

Jesse sticks his tongue out at Hanzo. “We’re gonna be here for another two hours, sweetpea, don’t worry about it. Plus, big ‘ol me ain’t gettin’ drunk on some weak 3 per—” Jesse pauses while twisting his empty bottle around to squint at the label. “Wow, 6 percent beer. Still, we’ll be fine.” 

Hanzo opens his mouth to make another comment, but the waiter returns with a beer and another employee. The other employee sets down another pot, this one filled with the broth for the meat. This is more familiar to Hanzo—similar to hot pot in cooking technique—although the smell is new. It's spicy with orange and lemon scents rolling out the top of the pot. Jesse waits until the two employees excuse themselves before acting up. His claws scratch lightly at the table as he whines, eager to get on with the rest of the meal. Hanzo distracts his needy boyfriend with conversation, even though this type of small talk would usually send Hanzo running. With Jesse it's easier, as Hanzo has discovered most things are. At some point, Hanzo strains to hear him over the tables in the alcove next to them. The wall separating the rooms doesn’t go all the way to the ceiling. It stops with a good two foot gap, allowing sounds to pour from one room into the next. He breaks eye contact with the wolf to glance up at a thick, red curtain pulled open between the areas. If the restaurant closed them, he'd be able to hear himself think along with his boyfriend’s voice. Hanzo frowns at the situation, but swiftly returns to talking with Jesse when the wolf pauses to ask if he's all right. 

“Fine, fine,” Hanzo assuages. “It's very loud in the room over.” 

Jesse cranes his head as if he can see over the false wall. 

“Yea, must be a big party over there. Wonder if our waiter has a table or two over there. Haven't seen him in a while.” 

Their broth for the entrees sits in the pot before them just as the cheese had. Only the broth boils away, level lowering farther and farther as they sit. It doesn't become a problem for Hanzo until he runs out of water. Neither of them have seen any waiter or waitress in quite some time. Jesse’s nearly empty second bottle clinks softly on the table as he passes it between his two paws. They’ve spent all this time talking. But usually when he’s with Jesse, they’re sitting quietly watching something or just doing things separately in the same space. Of course, his boyfriend isn’t difficult to talk to, but Hanzo can only do so much. The volume pouring out of the room beside them escalates, and Hanzo pinched the bridge of his nose. Jesse’s beer bottle taps the table one last time before stopping, and Hanzo drops his hand to look at him. 

Jesse pouts and asks, “Are you okay?” 

“Fine,” Hanzo sighs. “Just wondering if we’re ever going to eat.” 

Jesse sulks a bit and mumbles, “I’m sorry.” 

Annoyed, Hanzo shoves the beer bottle out of the way and gets at Jesse’s paws with his hands. It’s awkward to lean his arms all the way around the pot to meet Jesse halfway, but his patience is running thin. 

“It’s not your fault.” Hanzo nods his head to the cacophony roaring on the other side of the wall. “You are probably right about our waiter serving tables in the room over. That does not absolve him, but my anger does not lie with you.” 

Jesse perks up at that and squeezes his hands. 

“I’m sure it’ll all work out. We’re gonna eat good regardless!” 

He smiles at Jesse before taking his hands back. The urge to pull his phone out and flick through it is almost irresistible. But if Jesse won’t succumb to the temptation first, then neither will he. Footsteps approaching brings Hanzo’s gaze up from staring at their hands. It's not their waiter but the other employee who'd brought the pot out in the first place. She smiles at them, a plastic thing that doesn't reach anywhere but her lips, and lifts a cooking pot in her hand. There's more broth in it, and she fills their boiling pot back up to a suitable level. All the while, Hanzo stares at her with increasingly narrowed eyes. He won't accost her, since this isn't her fault. But the message might get across. Even Genji knows better than to fight this expression, and she skitters away without a word to them. Jesse watches her go, and Hanzo wipes the glare off his face before the wolf turns back around. When he does, Hanzo smiles briefly at him before leaning back in the booth. The volume in the next room hasn't gotten louder, at least. 

More footsteps scuffing on the carpet catch both their attentions. Jesse perks up and grins at Hanzo, and he knows that this must be their food. Of course the scents of raw meat would reach Jesse before the waiter even arrives to the table. He seems oblivious to Hanzo's irritation, not offering an apology for their delay. Sucking in a breath, Hanzo wills some of his anger away. No point in making a scene or being rude, that wouldn't be polite. Jesse’s tail beating softly in the booth helps ease that white-hot ball in Hanzo’s stomach, and he has to hide a soppy smile behind his hand. Jesse truly loves food, and Hanzo can't help but watch with all the fondness in his heart about to overflow. Jesse’s confession from earlier whispers in his ear, and Hanzo glances away as old insecurities gnaw at his happiness. Sorting through his feelings for Jesse and committing is a must. He doesn't owe Jesse that, but he wants to do it for himself. Genji had once told him that he deserves love and to love someone in return. His chance sits across from him, carefully arranging dipping sauces and nodding along to the waiter’s instructions. Hanzo doesn't hear any of it—to consumed in his feelings for Jesse. 

When they're finally alone again, Jesse re-explains it all. 

Brandishing a large, metal spoon, Jesse says, “So this is the rescue spoon, we use this to fish stuff out so we don't stick forks and what not with germs on them into the broth.” 

Hanzo snorts. “Obviously.” 

Jesse’s lips twitch as he forces down another smile. He leaves the spoon in a large bowl sitting beside the pot. 

“This thing gets crazy hot if you leave it in there, so I wouldn't recommend it. Anyway, you know all about cooking times and food safety shit like that, so I won't repeat what he said. But uh… Yea! He's gonna come back and refill your water, so don't worry about that, sugar.” 

He hums and glances over the pickings presented on the plate. He couldn't resist lobster, not having the courage to cook it fresh himself. It only takes one traumatic experience as a child—making friends with the creatures before having to listen to the screams and hisses of their shells as they're boiled alive—to put him off cooking them himself. Besides the lobster pulled from the shell and draped delicately on top it, everything else lies on top of a bed of carrot strings. The palette of reds and pinks on the plate call to him, and he raises his head to defer to Jesse. 

“We might as well cook the same things together,” he points out. “Less contamination.” 

Jesse lets out a fond sigh and bats his eyes at him. 

“I love that you care about that. Would you believe I've brought friends here and they didn't care? Cooking different meats together all willy-nilly like.” 

“How awful,” Hanzo teases.

“It was!” Jesse insists. With a fondue fork, he points to the lobster on Hanzo's plate. “Cook that guy first. The pot’s as clean as it's gonna be so.” 

Hanzo nods and does as he's told. Jesse throws his in too, as well as dumping the bowl of vegetables left with them. Potatoes and broccoli fall into the broth to join their shellfish. 

“If you wanting any of those potatoes, you'll wanna wait until the very end. They take forever to soften up.” 

Hanzo gets a hand on the rescue spoon and sifts through the boiling broth, watching their food bob around. 

“All yours,” he says. “I don't like red potatoes.” 

They're spooning the lobster pieces out when their waiter returns with the water pitcher and a third beer. Hanzo reserves his comment, but he gives Jesse a waggle of his eyebrows when the waiter leaves. Jesse’s tongue sticks out at him before he takes a swig. Food steaming on his plate, Hanzo cranes his head around the boiling pot in search of the sauces. 

“Did they by chance give us butter?” 

Jesse knocks a white, square sauce cup towards him with a finger. 

“Use as much as you want, I don't use it.” 

Hanzo sets the butter down beside his plate before making a face at the wolf. 

“How can you not use butter with lobster?” 

Jesse shrugs with food already in his mouth. 

“It don't taste no different with or without it.” 

Not thinking, Hanzo dunks a chunk of meat into the butter and holds it out for Jesse. 

“Taste this and tell me again there's no difference.” 

Jesse stares at him for a split second before his jaws snap shut around the food. He stares at Hanzo while eating it, and it occurs to Hanzo what he's just done the longer Jesse watches him. He's just fed Jesse like they're a pair of lovesick teenagers. Hanzo takes his fork back and rubs a hand on his forehead. He didn't even think about his actions before offering Jesse the food. He doesn't feel ashamed or embarrassed just...silly. He peeks at Jesse through his fingers to find the wolf grinning at him. Jesse returns Hanzo's gesture in kind with his own lobster, bobbing the fork in front of Hanzo’s red face. 

“Open wide,” Jesse teases. “It's not fair unless I feed you, too.” 

“Jesse McCree, have mercy,” he mumbles while letting his hand slip down his face. 

Jesse just twirls the lobster chunk again, still with that filthy grin on his face. 

“It's gettin’ cold, come on!” 

Hanzo pouts and mutters, “At least dip it in butter first.” 

Huffing, Jesse rolls his eyes—his head following the motion for dramatic effect—and touches the very edge of the lobster to the butter. He chokes back a laugh as Hanzo’s frowns at him, shoulders drooping. In reality, Hanzo too has to hold back his laughter. This is all a bit ridiculous, and normally he wouldn’t suffer this kind of indignation. But Jesse is...a special person to him. Anyone else would end up on the receiving end of Hanzo’s glare. This sort of banter and teasing from Jesse feels natural, now. Pretending to to sulk, Hanzo takes the offered food and stares at Jesse with sad eyes while eating it. The wolf sputters into his fist, still trying to keep from exploding in laughter. Hanzo can’t contain it, though, and he laughs once he’s eaten Jesse’s lobster. Once the dam has sprung a leak, it gives way, and Jesse practically howls. He forces his head down, to direct the rambunctious laughter into his lap, but Hanzo doesn’t care if anyone else hears. Let them. 

Hanzo ignores the loud room next to them as their meal continues. They chatter about the quality and taste of the food. After eating a piece of chicken, Hanzo offers the three remaining pieces to Jesse. They’re not to his liking, and Jesse doesn’t make a big fuss about it. When the plates of meat had been set down in front of them, Hanzo had seriously doubted the meager portions would fill him, let alone Jesse. But the meats and broccoli dwindle to nothing, and Jesse stretches across from him in an attempt to make room for dessert. There’s been no sign of their waiter yet again, and Hanzo is out of water for a second time. But he doesn’t care anymore. Jesse proves to be a perfect distraction for his irritation. 

“Can’t wait until we pick a dessert, darlin’.” Jesse’s back arches in the booth as he stretches again. “You’ll definitely be full, if you ain’t already.” 

“You can’t seem to wait for any part of this meal, Jesse.” 

Hanzo rests his chin in his hands while blinking back a food coma from his eyes. Jesse’s giant bed waits for them back at his house, and that’s what Hanzo can’t wait for. They have no plans for anything intimate, and Hanzo doubts he’ll stay awake long enough to get in anything except some kisses and holding each other. They’ve sat here for over two hours, now. Hanzo doesn’t hold his breath that the waiter will run up with the dessert menu. And somehow, the party on the other side of the wall is still going. Hanzo shakes his head at all the noise and sits up straight again. He watches Jesse crane his head around the booth, probably to see if he can flag down any employees. The wolf turns back to him with a toothy grin and a wink. 

“He’s on his way. Saw him runnin’ back some dishes.” 

True to Jesse’s words, their waiter returns again. The same girl who had brought out their broth stands behind him, waiting to help carry the dishes away. Jesse and Hanzo surrender all their silverware and plates to them. With the table cleared, Hanzo scoots his empty water to the left so that the waiter might notice it in need of a refill. He counts his blessings when the young man returns out of breath, dessert menu in hand. Jesse nudges the menu to Hanzo. He eyes the waiter as the young man leaves, sure they’ll be left to sit here for ages. But he leaves only long enough to grab more water for Hanzo. Jesse asks him for a glass, too, and gently gathers up the empty beer bottles as a trade. While Jesse sends the waiter on a little errand, he glances over the chocolate offerings. Sweets are not to his taste, but he knows Jesse loves them. Most of the chocolate fondue is milk chocolate, and Hanzo turns his nose at them. Jesse sits patiently while he decides. Hanzo feels his golden eyes watching him, but there’s no pressure behind the stare. Jesse has confessed to watching him just to look at him. Still, it brings a flush to Hanzo’s cheeks, and he has to fight the urge to hide behind the menu. Finally, he sees something they both might like.

“How does the yin and yang sound?” 

Jesse sits up as if to reach the menu currently facing away from him. 

“Never had it. What’s it all about?” 

“White chocolate and dark chocolate poured in the yin yang shape.” Hanzo shrugs. “It has something sweet I know you will like.” 

Another soppy smile tugs at the corners of Jesse’s lips. 

“That’s so sweet, thinkin’ about what I want. You spoil me, Hanzo.” 

He snaps the menu shut at the sound of their waiter’s footsteps and murmurs, “Rotten.” 

Jesse doesn’t hear him, though, and accepts the offered water in exchange for their order. Hanzo hands the menu back with a thin smile. In hindsight, he might look back on his chilly attitude towards the waiter and consider it over the top. However, their service has been neglectful at best, and his ire had made Jesse upset. Jesse will probably still tip him nicely anyway, so Hanzo doesn’t dwell on it too much. His cold stare must have given the waiter a hint at his displeasure, because the young man returns with their dessert much faster than the other parts of tonight’s meal. Pot on the burner, he doles out plates of fruit, brownies, and other confections for them to smother in chocolate. He also brings them fresh forks, since he’d taken the others while collecting their dishes. Once they’re alone again, Jesse spears a strawberry and bats his eyes at it. 

“Oh, sweet strawberry. How I love you.” 

Hanzo snorts, and that draws Jesse’s golden gaze to him. 

“Not as much as you, sugar.” 

Jesse’s words float over him much easier this time around. Still, the idea of Jesse loving him makes his stomach flip. It’s not unpleasant, but he doesn’t know what to do with it. Jesse saves him from pain by crooning with a mouth full of chocolate and strawberry. Hanzo eyes the plate with a smile and finds a single piece of pineapple. He steals it before Jesse can see it and eats it plain. It’s not quite ripe, like he’d thought, but he’d wanted it. He doesn’t make the same show of enjoying his favorite fruit like the wolf does, but the pineapple leaves him with a tingle in his mouth and a smile on his lips. Jesse uses his fork to scoot the marshmallows closer to Hanzo. On closer inspection, one of them is covered in brown cookie crumbs while the other is plain. Hanzo lifts an eyebrow at his boyfriend. 

“All yours.” 

“Don’t like those either?” 

“Nah,” Jesse drawls while sticking another slice of strawberry. “I’m mostly here for the strawberries, the brownies, and the cutie pie.” 

Hanzo gives the table a once over, unsure of what Jesse’s talking about. 

“There is no pie here, Jesse.” 

The wolf promptly chokes on his mouthful of dessert, and Hanzo shoots him a withered look. Jesse downs a giant gulp of water to stop the agony in his throat. He nods with misty eyes. He should have known Jesse meant him. It’s another word game he likes to trick Hanzo into. At least he doesn’t fall for it every time, now. Hanzo stabs a slice of strawberry in revenge and slathers it in dark chocolate. Jesse’s ears fold down in mock sadness, and he pouts. He smirks while enjoying the fruit, although he promises this is the only one. He knows how much the wolf wants them all to himself. 

“Very funny, Jesse McCree. Hilarious, even.” 

“Made you smile,” Jesse wheezes. “I call that a win.” 

Hanzo does too, just without saying it. Jesse attempts to offer him food from his own fork again, and this time Hanzo doesn’t put up a front. It’s worth it just to hear Jesse’s tail thump in the booth next to him. About to burst, Hanzo stops after that and sits back to watch Jesse finish the chocolate. The only thing that remains once the wolf is satisfied are the marshmallows and a bit of chocolate that burned into the bottom of the pot. Jesse leans over the edge of their booth to turn the burner off before the pleasant scent can turn foul. Scooting the dishes away, Hanzo flops his arm in the empty space and offers his hand to Jesse. The wolf covers it with a paw as he sags in the booth and lets out a sigh. 

“So good every damn time.” 

“Thank you for the compliment,” Hanzo says with a smirk. 

“Mr. Funny Guy over here.” Jesse chuckles with a grin and rubs his stomach. “But seriously, I’m so glad we came here. Even including the slow service tonight. Totally worth it.” 

“I enjoyed myself, I will admit. I will enjoy sleeping once we get home even more.” 

“‘Home,’ huh?” Jesse’s grin turns teasing at the edges as he winks at Hanzo again. 

Instead of bowing his head and blushing like he would have months ago, Hanzo crosses his arms over his chest and says, “Yes. Home.” 

Meeting Hanzo’s challenge, Jesse lifts his ass up to slip his wallet out of his jeans. He smacks it on the table and wiggles his eyebrows at Hanzo. 

“Lemme pay our bill, and we’ll get right on that.” 

Whether or not there’s a sexual undertone to Jesse’s words isn’t something Hanzo gets a chance to analyze. Their waiter returns with the bill, and Jesse wastes no time in just handing him a card. Hanzo is tired of this song and dance as well, and he thanks Jesse in his head for cutting to the quick. Jesse taking back his card and signing the receipt passes in a blur as sleep bears down on Hanzo. Jesse is up and out of the booth with their coats in his paws before he knows it. Jesse whips his on first before helping Hanzo. Hanzo grumbles a thank you rather than insisting that he didn’t need it. Jesse turns with a smile to lead them from the restaurant, and Hanzo’s hand whips out to snag a paw. Jesse’s tail wags as Hanzo trails behind him, held tightly in his paw. They slip through the archway that leads from the waiting area into the restaurant. Jesse stops at the door to outside, and Hanzo cranes his head around the wolf. 

A few inches of snow wait for them on the sidewalk. 

“Yikes,” Jesse hisses as his paw squeezes Hanzo’s hand. “When the hell did all this happen?” 

“Probably while we waited here for three hours,” Hanzo grumbles softly enough for the hostess to not hear. 

Sighing, Jesse nudges the door open and pulls Hanzo outside. There’s no wind, thankfully, but the temperature has dropped significantly. Moisture in Hanzo’s nose and sweat along his eyebrows seems to freeze once they’re out of the bubble of warmth from the restaurant. Jesse scoops an arm around him. Hanzo takes the offer without complaint and wraps his own arm around Jesse’s back. Even through his coat, Jesse radiates heat. Hanzo shivers and slips along with Jesse through the snow. Jesse makes light of their journey back to the car, sliding his boots through the snow and slush. Hanzo smiles into his side and lets the wolf have his fun. He’s trying not to think about how the hell they’ll get home. 

Together, they make quick work of all the snow on Jesse’s car. It starts right up while Hanzo drags snow off the windows with a squeegee from Jesse’s trunk while said wolf whips off snow from the roof. They manage to avoid a snow fight only because Hanzo doesn’t have any gloves, and he’s shaking terribly while they pile into the warmed up car. There aren’t many other vehicles left in the parking lot, which Hanzo is thankful for when they skid trying to make it to the road. It’s completely snow covered, all down the side street to the highway. The highway isn’t much better. 

“Okay,” Jesse sighs with a paw on the gearshift. “We’re not totally screwed. I’ve driven in snow like this before, and I know this car pretty well. I’m gonna try and get us home. If we can’t make it, I have another idea.” 

“Y-yes?” Hanzo’s teeth chatter while he cups his hands around the vents in front of him. 

“You met one of my old friends at the New Year’s Eve party, Gabe? He owns a gas station two exits down from where we are right now, and I have a key. He won’t mind if we crash there until the roads get a little bit of love from the plows. If you’re okay with that? We can try for a hotel, if you’re not.” 

“Let’s g-go,” Hanzo sputters. 

Jesse grins as he says, “You got it.” 

It’s slow going. Jesse talks about snow and how it forms in the atmosphere to distract Hanzo from the terrors of the road. There’s only one set of tire marks for the four-lane highway, and they’re not deep yet. The brake lights of other cars in front of them glow like demon eyes through the snow and dark. Jesse fiddles with the gearshift any time he feels his tires slipping. Hanzo tears his eyes away from the snow-covered highway to stare at his furry paw on the stick. 

“Your… Your car is not manual. Why do you keep moving the stick?” 

“Low gear,” Jesse says simply. “It forces the transmission into second gear, giving me traction.” 

“...You remember I don’t drive, correct?” 

Jesse shoots him a cheesy grin. “Don’t mean you don’t know shit about cars. But basically, a car like this has four gears: one, two, three, and four obviously. There’s actually a second part of gear four, called overdrive that’s for fuel efficiency.” Jesse slows down some as a car swerves near them, intent on using the ruts in the snow to continue on. His hackles rise, but he doesn’t bother honking. “Anyway, the other gears are used for power. First gear in this car is actually pretty crappy. It puts too much spin in my tires, and I sometimes can’t take off from wet pavement. Tires just spin out.” 

Hanzo nods and glances to the road. Some people have pulled over, and all around them hazard lights flash yellow and orange on vehicles they pass. No one else has tried to encroach on their space. 

“So, what I’ll do sometimes is start in low gear to get the spin I need to take off from a stop light. Shit happens when I’m tryin’ to pull into the driveway, too. Tires get stuck on snow and shit piled up by the bump of the curb, and I can’t get over it. Going down to low gear puts the transmission in second, as I said, and better controls how the tires spin through the snow. Third and fourth gear won’t do nothin’ in this shit.” Jesse lifts a finger from the steering wheel to point at a car that has spun out and almost hit a wall to their right. “See that guy? He probably broke while sliding or tried to give it too much gas. He lost traction, spun out, and now he’s over there in the ditch like a loser.” 

Hanzo finds his heart is beating much too fast in his chest. He stares at Jesse through the dark and cold of the car and stutters, “H-how do you kn… know all this?” 

Jesse shrugs. “My dad was a car guy when I was growing up. Not like, let’s go buy a frame and build a car guy. But he worked on cars for a long time. So he taught me shit. Certainly helpin’ right now.” 

Jesse takes his hand off the gearshift for a second to graze Hanzo’s cheek with the backs of his fingers. 

“You’re breathin’ awful hard,” he mumbles. “You okay?” 

“It’s very stressful to watch you do this,” Hanzo replies. He can’t even lean into Jesse’s paw. 

The wolf nods and steers them towards the next exit. 

“We’ll go to Gabe’s and wait it out. I’m gonna lose traction when we go under this bridge, so don’t freak out. We’ll be fine.” 

They do exactly that when the tires of his car dip into deeper snow under the bridge. There’s a breeze out this way, and all it’s done is blown the snow in here and almost made a dune. Hanzo clutches to the armrest in his door as Jesse coasts through the snow. Once they pop out from under the bridge, he spins out a little bit before regaining control of the car. Jesse huffs out a laugh as they crawl to the exit coming up. He glances at Hanzo, and the grin drops of his face some. Again, he lifts a paw from his wheel and grips Hanzo’s shoulder hard enough to drag him out of his stupor. 

“Hanzo, you all right?” 

“I just… I can’t believe this is working.” 

Jesse’s lips turn up at the ends, boastful and full of pride. 

“If this car were all wheel drive, we’d have no problem. But that’s a story for another day. We’ll be at Gabe’s soon. Hold tight, darlin’. We’re okay.” 

Jesse checks to make sure the road is clear as he rolls every stop sign and every red light they come to. Hanzo would lecture him, but he has a sneaking suspicion they might have problems if Jesse comes to a complete stop. He hasn’t since they got on the highway half an hour ago. Hanzo blinks at the radio as he repeats that thought in his head. Half an hour ago they’d been sitting in a dark restaurant, laughing and flirting with each other. Now, Hanzo can’t manage to get a word out. Fear grips him tightly, and shame adds itself to the mix simply because Hanzo knows Jesse will get them somewhere safely. He trusts Jesse. It’s difficult to fight the fear when he’s not in control. Jesse lets out a tired, drained sigh as the lights of a gas station come into view. The roof over the pumps blocks out some snow, but it’s creeping in with the wind. Jesse rolls under the canopy and parks the car in front of a pump. Hanzo piles out, almost falling, and trails behind the wolf as he flings open the snack shop’s door. An alarm sounds, but Jesse is at the security panel in an instant, typing in a code to shut the system off. 

Rubbing his upper arms, Hanzo wanders up to Jesse’s chest and leans heavily into him. If he wasn’t tired before, he’s falling asleep on his feet, now. Jesse’s thick arms wind around his back and keep them flush together. Hanzo cracks open an eye to appraise the snack shop. It’s quite small with only one section of shelving in the middle of the floor. Some of the tiles under their feet are cracked, but at least they’re all the same dark green. It’s more than can be said about the four coolers—all mismatched—lining the wall opposite the register. They’re not as old as this building, but their different designs and sizes say enough. The coolers are filled to the brim with sodas and other beverages, so whoever closed tonight actually did their job in restocking. When he’d walked in, he’d seen a soda machine, a coffee machine, and a metal rack holding bags of chips all resting on the only counter space. That wall and counters curve around their side of the store, and he can’t see it with a face full of Jesse. Said wolf’s muzzle rustles Hanzo’s snow speckled hair, and Jesse whines against his head. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” 

Hanzo nods while pressing his face into Jesse’s jacket. 

“I’m fine now.” 

Jesse’s phone vibrates in his pocket, spooking them. Jesse unwinds an arm from around Hanzo to dig into his pocket. With the volume turned up all the way, Jesse answers the call and holds the phone against his head. 

“What the hell are you doing in my store, McCree?” 

“Hey, hey, don’t bite my head off!” Jesse winks at him. “Hanzo and I got caught unawares of the storm. We were gonna sit here until the plows can clear some of this mess out. We’ll be gone soon.” 

“The hell you will be. It’s gonna snow hard like this all night, genius.” 

Some of Jesse’s confidence slips from his face. He glances at Hanzo before turning his eyes onto the snow still falling outside. 

“Well… I can always get back on the road and get us to a hotel.” 

Gabe huffs on his end of the line and growls, “Don’t bother. Stay put.” 

He hangs up, and Jesse pulls his phone away to blink at it. Hanzo watches with his hands twisting the front of Jesse’s coat. 

“Wonder what the hell all that was about.” He shrugs and pockets his phone again. “Let’s wait here for a bit and see if he calls me back, maybe. I know his ass ain’t gettin’ out in there, so I don’t know why he wants us to sit tight.” 

Jesse kneels down a bit to grab Hanzo by the hips. He lifts the human like he’s nothing until Hanzo sits on the counter. It makes them the same height this way. Jesse unzips his coat, allowing Hanzo’s trembling hands to get at his shirt and fur. Jesse stands flush with the counter to hold Hanzo to him, holding the back of Hanzo’s shaved head in his paw. Jesse’s shoulder seems like a good place to rest his head, and Hanzo has to stretch his legs around Jesse’s body to lean comfortably. Jesse grumbles in his chest and scoops him closer. Hanzo’s hands squirm under Jesse’s shirt until they reach his back. His fur is much warmer back here, and his fingers thread through it to hold on. Hanzo doses lightly as Jesse snuffles in his ear and hums something slightly out of tune. A horn blaring as headlights shine through the windows startles him, and Hanzo almost clocks his head on Jesse’s jaw. 

“Oh shit, I think Hana and Lucio are here to save the day.” 

Hanzo turns his head enough to blink narrow eyes at the giant truck roaring outside. Uninterested, he shifts back to burrow deeper into his boyfriend. Jesse chuckles in his ear and kisses the chilly lobe before worming out of Hanzo’s grasp. 

“Yea, that’s definitely Hana’s truck. They’ll give us a ride back to my place.” Paws lift his heavy head to smoosh his cheeks. “You can nap in the truck, darlin’, but for now we gotta get goin.” 

Hanzo slips to the floor and shuffles outside while Jesse rearms the security system and locks the door. Jesse smacks a sloppy kiss to his cheek as they trudge to the truck. Hana rolls down her window and grins at them. Music pours out the truck, and Hanzo digs his feet in a bit. There’s still a low roar in his ear from the loud restaurant, and now he’ll be in there. Jesse just pulls him along like he weighs nothing. Hana pops her door open so that the one behind her can open. Hanzo’s shoes slip in the snow on the foot bar, and Jesse chuckles as he gives Hanzo a boost. In reality, he lifts Hanzo by the waist and helps him crawl in the back. Jesse hoists himself up without a problem and shuts the door behind him. Hana does the same with hers, and they’re off. Lucio turns to them as they buckle up, and the music lowers some. 

“Fun evening? Hope you guys enjoyed the winter wonderland.” 

“It’s different when you’re in a little four cylinder,” Jesse points out. “Less fun, more trying not to crash.” 

Hanzo leans his head on Jesse so he doesn’t have to watch the scenery outside speed past them. He isn’t sure how the hell Hana drives this way in probably five inches of snow, but she’s doing it. It’s easier to just press his face into Jesse’s body and ignore it all. Lucio, Hana, and Jesse chatter away as the young wolf drives them back home. At one point, Jesse’s warm paw cups his cheek, and Hanzo grumbles to make him stop. Jesse kisses his forehead and murmurs something low in his ear, but he doesn’t catch it. The truck jerks to a stop at one point, and that gets Hanzo to open his eyes and glare around the cabin. 

“Thank you for choosing the D.va Truck as your mode of transportation tonight.” Hana grins at them over her shoulder. “Please, get out.” 

“You got it,” Jesse chuckles back while pulling and nudging Hanzo along. “Thanks guys, I owe you!” 

Hana and Lucio wave and yell from the open windows. Hanzo manages a little wave back, but he doesn’t attempt anything more. At this point, Jesse will have to peel him out of his clothes. That thought gets a stupid grin on Hanzo’s face as the wolf loops an arm around his waist and drags him into the house. The temperature difference calls up sweat on Hanzo’s face almost immediately. He struggles out of his coat, sleeves flopping as he gets stuck, and Jesse chuckles while helping him again. Hanzo reaches for his sweater, but Jesse stops him with a hand. 

“We’re not even in the bedroom yet, sugar.” Jesse waggles his eyebrows on his stupid, adorable face. “Save some for later, yea?” 

“Be quiet,” Hanzo grumbles while stomping away. 

He’s not upset, not in the slightest, but it’s fun to do play this hard to get game with Jesse. The wolf knows he doesn’t mean anything by it. Jesse sticks close to him on their way to the bedroom. His paws sneak out to tickle Hanzo as they go, and Hanzo isn’t coordinated enough to fight back. He didn’t even drink, but the terror of the thirty-minute car ride through snow hell took it out of him. He hopes Jesse doesn’t expect any sort of funny business when they finally settle in. Perhaps in the morning, but for now he’s almost passing out on his feet. Jesse’s paws steady his hips, and his muzzle shoves the collar of his sweater away from his neck. Lips and teeth excite his skin, but Hanzo lifts a hand to touch Jesse’s nose to stop him. 

“Not tonight, Jesse. I’m very tired.” 

Jesse kisses Hanzo’s palm and backs off, barely keeping a paw on him to hold him upright. 

“No problem, darlin’. Lets get you into something more comfortable, and then we can sleep.” 

Jesse helping him undress passes in a blur, but Hanzo trusts him. He’d said no, and Hanzo knows Jesse won’t take advantage of his sleepy state. They drag his clothes off, stuff him into loose shorts and a sleep shirt, and Jesse pulls back the covers to get him comfortable. Jesse undressing doesn’t take nearly as long, and soft, wonderful fur soon covers Hanzo from his shoulders all the way to his ankles. Jesse gets a thick arm around him, paw cradling his stomach, before he kisses just below Hanzo’s ear. Hanzo shuffles closer and rubs his shoulders into Jesse’s chest. 

“I love you, Hanzo,” Jesse murmurs against his ear. “Thank you for bein’ with me tonight.” 

Emotions boiling over in his stomach rouse Hanzo from his peaceful position in Jesse’s arms. While the wolf snuffles in his ear and settles down, Hanzo’s stomach flips again as it did when Jesse said ‘I love you’ at the restaurant. Jesse is dear to him, deep in his life to where if their relationship dissolved, Hanzo knows he would mourn the loss for quite some time. His hands tighten over Jesse’s paws. He can’t say those words back, and Jesse had told him that it’s okay. But he feels torn up and sick inside. He has to express how he feels in a way that makes sense. His first step is to roll in Jesse’s arms and scoot up the bed until they’re face to face. 

Hanzo pets a hand on the side of Jesse’s muzzle, watching his gold eyes shine in the dark. 

“Given time,” Hanzo murmurs, “I may be able to say the same to you. And you have said it doesn’t bother you. But it bothers me.” 

Jesse’s paws find the small of his back, and his fingertips press into the muscles there. His pads are warm and gentle where they rub him. Hanzo bows his head and smiles as he drops his hand to Jesse’s chest. His affection for this wolf would be difficult to put into words in any language, but he feels as though he owes it to Jesse to try. A squeeze around his waist gets his head up again, and Jesse waits patiently for him to continue. He even tries to calm the gentle _thwap_ of his tail on the bed. Hanzo has to fight the urge to turn his face into the pillow and hide. Jesse whines ever so softly, and Hanzo looks up at him again. 

“You are very dear to me, Jesse McCree. I have feelings for you that don’t have words, but maybe I can find those words someday. I am sorry that you will have to wait.” 

The wolf’s muzzle finds him in the dark, and Jesse presses a lingering kiss to his cheek. 

“I’d wait a long time for you to find out,” he admits. “However long it takes.”  
  
Jesse’s furry cheek grazes the spot he’d kissed as he rubs their faces together. Hanzo lets out a tired, breathless laugh as fur and limbs consume him. It doesn’t go further than a quick cuddle and a few kisses on his face. Jesse arranges them like before, chest to back, and holds Hanzo tightly to him. Hanzo curls an arm under his head while the other tangles itself on Jesse’s paws. All the rubbery, overcooked things in his stomach settle again, and he can breathe in Jesse’s arms. He falls asleep secure in the knowledge that Jesse loves him. And that love is enough until Hanzo can feel it, too.


	6. Knotty Wolf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, we're done. Sorry I didn't reply to any comments from last chapter. I didn't have the energy. But I still appreciate every one who left a comment. I'm so glad it's done. Longest thing I've published. Let's watch me never write anything this "good" or long again OTL. Bye~
> 
> Wanna make it official? [Follow this](http://missgillette.tumblr.com)

Waking up in Jesse’s bed is always one of two situations: either Hanzo wakes up sweating with Jesse’s furry limbs all over him or he wakes up freezing because the wolf stole the blankets. This morning is a sweaty morning, and Hanzo rolls out from under Jesse’s legs with a groan. Thankfully, he has free range of Jesse’s shower, and he intends to make full use of it after last night. The panic sweat from their adventure home is gritty on his skin, as if he’d rolled around in sand. After responding to nature’s call in the bathroom down the hall, Hanzo returns to the en suite in Jesse’s bedroom. Showering will probably wake the wolf up, but they’ve slept long enough in Hanzo’s opinion. They’re wasting a perfectly good Sunday. 

Hanzo has lost count on how many dates they’ve gone on and how many showers he’s taken in this bathroom. He realizes this while soaping up a rag that is officially “his.” He has clothes that stay here permanently, and his toiletries take up a shelf on the wall beside him. He’s been considering buying another rice cooker to leave here since all Jesse has are pots and pans. Hanzo turns into the spray of the showerhead—which is stuck at an awkward angle for him, because he can’t reach up to adjust it—and washes without thinking about it. His cheeks flame up as he thinks about making them dinner later, since they’re probably snowed in. Or at least he won’t want to try and leave again, especially because Jesse’s car isn’t here. 

Grumbling on the other side of the foggy, glass door startles Hanzo, and he drops his washrag to the floor. Jesse’s furry, disheveled form blocks out light as he stands in front of door. He’s scratching the back of his head and swaying on his feet. Hanzo rings out his rag and rinses it from the filth of the floor. He’s clean everywhere anyway, so he might as well give Jesse a turn. The door swings out as he goes to leave, and Jesse drags his feet as he blocks Hanzo’s path. His eyes aren’t even open. The door shuts behind him, and Jesse encroaches on Hanzo’s personal space. Snorting, Hanzo walks backwards until his shoulder blades hit the cool, tile wall. He’s not cold for long as Jesse slumps his now wet body all along his front, pinning him to the wall. Even Hanzo’s hands pushing at his shoulders don’t get the wolf to budge. 

“Good morning to you, too,” Hanzo chuckles, still shoving and slipping at Jesse’s shoulders. 

A cold nose finds the skin between his neck and shoulder. Jesse snuffles at him, still with his eyes closed. After sharing many mornings with Jesse, Hanzo has come to find out the wolfman is much more wolf than man around these times. He recalls the morning after the New Year’s Eve party, when Jesse had ground him into the stove and chewed on his shoulder. It hasn’t been that savage ever again, but Hanzo certainly won’t turn him away. Jesse’s big paws grab him by the upper thighs, slipping against the water streaming down Hanzo’s body until he comes to a stop at his boyfriend’s hips. Jesse bullies his way between Hanzo’s legs and presses a furry thigh to his cock. Hanzo groans, and Jesse nibbles where the sound starts deep in his throat. It tickles a bit, and Hanzo’s shoulders shake in a laugh. Jesse’s thigh surges against him again, and the giggle becomes a moan. 

“Mmm, Hanzo,” Jesse growls against his Adam’s apple. “Let me…” 

His paws shift around Hanzo’s firm body to grip his ass. Hanzo scrambles at the wet fur of his shoulders as Jesse lifts him off his feet. Jesse pins him to the tile wall with his wide hips now between Hanzo’s thighs, paws still squeezing his ass. Jesse doesn’t have to bend down to attack his throat anymore, and the painting of Hanzo’s neck in hues of purple and red can finally begin. Jesse leaves many bites behind, not quite drawing blood. But they’ll all pulse with Hanzo’s heart even hours after. Hanzo’s heels dig into the small of Jesse’s back for purchase. The wolf’s paws are still at his ass, pulling his cheeks apart and squeezing them. Jesse pants into his collarbones as he starts to come around. Hanzo untangles his hands from the wolf’s shoulders and pets his hair. There’s always a chance he’ll panic while snapping out of this, and Hanzo doesn’t want Jesse to drop him. 

Jesse’s chin settles on his shoulder, and Hanzo cranes his head back to blink down at the wolf. 

“Hi,” Jesse mumbles. Down the slope of his body, Hanzo spies his soaked tail wagging slightly. 

Hanzo cards his fingers through Jesse’s wet hair. He scoops it off the wolf’s forehead and out of his eyes so they can see each other better. Jesse’s eyebrows bunch together as he watches Hanzo. The shower continues to rain down on them as Jesse scoots to stand up straight. Hanzo relaxes until his head gently taps the tile wall he’s still pressed to. Jesse’s wet nose bumps his, and Hanzo lets a few chuckles out through his nose. Jesse angles his head slowly, deliberately. Hanzo answers in kind for the kiss. Jesse’s lips muffle his soft moan. Rather than deepen the kiss, Jesse separates them again and again, pressing longer and longer kisses to his lips. Hanzo enjoys the warm up, and he wiggles in Jesse’s hold in anticipation. At the first warm brush of tongue on his lips, Hanzo shudders and tightens his arms around Jesse’s neck. All the fur and warmth rubbing along his chest and between his legs has his head swimming. And Jesse won't stop with these infuriating pecks to his lips. Hanzo’s fingers tighten in his hair, keeping Jesse’s mouth on his this time. The wolf smiles into the kiss and licks him one more time before actually pulling away. Hanzo doesn't let him go easily. His lips and chin buzz where Jesse had touched him, and he knows his face is on fire again. He just hopes his erection stuck between them doesn't bother Jesse. 

“You already done with your shower?” 

Hanzo blinks mist out of his eyes. He feels the wrinkle between his brows the longer he stares at Jesse. 

“...Yes. Why?” 

Jesse shuffles and slides him up the wall while adjusting his hold. Hanzo’s fingers card through wet fur on his shoulders, just to touch. Jesse’s chest pins him to the wall while his stomach gives sweet pressure along his cock. Hanzo jumps in his arms and narrows his eyes at the wolf. Furry eyebrows wiggle above Jesse’s eyes as he bears his weight down again. A hiss rips out of Hanzo’s mouth, and his eyes fall almost shut. Jesse hums and swoops down to bite and suck at his neck again. The water has finally cooled some, and Hanzo cracks an eye open as the steam dissipates. Misty eyes spy his dim reflection in the glass door: giant wolf between his legs, body rocking up into him every so often. Hanzo groans and turns his head away, burying his nose and mouth in Jesse's hair. Jesse grinds against him and leaves one more bruise on his neck before leaning back. 

Jesse rumbles into his shoulder, “Didn't know if I could tempt you into goin’ back to bed with me. Maybe…roll around a little bit. See where the morning takes us. Wasn't gonna ask unless you were done.” 

“Back to bed, hmm?” Hanzo twirls a lock of Jesse’s fur around his finger. He can't feel if Jesse is as hard as he is, but he'd bet money on it. “And what exactly would ‘roll around a little bit’ entail?” 

A happy growl through Jesse’s chest tickles Hanzo, but he bites back a laugh. 

“Whatever you want, darlin’. No pressure, you know me.” 

A chuckle shakes Hanzo’s shoulders. He tugs Jesse’s heavy head up by his hair and smiles at the bashful wolf. Jesse won't meet his eyes, and something warm rolls around in Hanzo's stomach. 

“Oh, how the tables have turned. Now it is you who cannot ask for what he wants.” 

Jesse’s cheeks puff out as he pouts. 

“Don't make fun of me, darlin’. I'm not a shy, little cutie pie like you. I just...didn't wanna hear you say no…” When Hanzo just watches him instead of saying anything, Jesse sputters a raspberry at him and confesses, “I wanna have sex with you. Whatever you're comfortable with. We don't gotta go all the way or nothin’.” 

“All the way?” Hanzo repeats with an eyebrow lifted and a barely contained laugh choked back. 

“Yea, all the way.” Jesse pouts at him again. “Don't be mean to me.” 

“I could never be mean to you, Jesse. I just thought for a moment that we were teenagers trying to sneak around our parents, what with the phrase ‘all the way’ being thrown around.” 

Jesse butts his muzzle on Hanzo's chest and mutters, “What happened to my sweet Hanzo? Who are you?” 

Hanzo’s laugh echoes off the tile wall and draws a shiver out of Jesse. 

“Little have you known that I am not and never will be ‘sweet.’” Hanzo urges Jesse’s head back up with his fingers still twisted in his hair. “I just happen to like you, that's all.” 

Jesse whines with his fur still twisted in Hanzo's fingers. 

“You got a funny way of showin’ it.” 

Hanzo cranes his head forward to kiss Jesse’s wet nose. The wolf sniffs and screws up his face to chase the sensation away. 

“If you are patient with me and go slow like last time, I think I can manage all of you.” 

Jesse’s ears perk up at that, but his face turns down with concern. 

“Sweetpea, we don't gotta do all that. I don't… I mean I **want** to, don't get me wrong, but we can have sex in other ways.” 

Hanzo rolls his eyes and asks, “And what if that's what I want? I want you to fuck me.” 

A silly grin messes up Jesse’s face, and he coos, “Say that again.” 

Pinching a round ear, Hanzo snorts at Jesse and mumbles, “Don’t be crass.” 

“No, no,” Jesse pleads while leaning on him. His tail thwaps against his own leg. “I’m not! I’m not! You never curse, so I never get to hear you say things like that.” 

Hanzo’s hair sticks to the tiles behind him when he rests his head against them. Jesse whines to his collarbones and snuffles the skin of his throat. 

“I want you to fuck me,” he deadpans. 

“Hanzo,” the wolf whines. “Like you mean it.” 

“Hmm.” Hanzo leaves forward to kiss the space between Jesse’s fluffy ears. With his lips just above the wet fur, and asks, “Please fuck me?” 

Jesse knocks the air out of him as he surges up, squashing Hanzo to the wall. Happy grumbles rumble in the hollow of his throat, and Jesse takes to nibbling gently along his collarbones. Hanzo laughs quietly while digging through the fur on his head to scratch his skin. Jesse makes a mess of the other side of his throat once he's done with the first. He stops when he reaches the curve of Hanzo's jaw. A few kisses lead up to his ear, and then Jesse backs down again. Hanzo scratches under his chin and smiles when Jesse’s eyes slip shut a little bit. 

He murmurs with his eyes mostly closed, “Been wanting to for a long time.” 

“Sorry.” Hanzo kisses his cheek. “I'm a coward at the best of times.” 

“Nah,” Jesse mumbles against his cheek. “I don't believe that. We'da never got this far if you never called me after we met. Or showed up for our dates.” A gold eye peeks open, and Hanzo’s vision fills with it. “You ain't a coward to me, Hanzo.” 

He can't quite handle Jesse trying to prove him otherwise, so Hanzo struggles in his arms instead and complains, “Don't you have showering to do?” 

Jesse’s ears fold back as he pouts. 

“Yea…” 

“Let me go, and I'll wait in bed. Maybe you'll shower faster.” 

Jesse sputters and whines, “I don't take forever on purpose! There's a lot of fur that needs shampooing and conditioning!” 

Hanzo rolls his eyes with a smirk and hums. “Mmm, I bet.” 

Jesse lets him down slowly with a little wobble of his chin. Before Jesse can try to whine again, Hanzo catches him by his jaw and pulls him down for a sweet, lingering kiss. The wolf perks right back up and makes to grab him. But Hanzo swipes his paws away and steps out of reach. He deliberately glances up and down Jesse’s soaked body, pressing his lips into a thin line when he sees Jesse half hard between his legs. His gaze shoots back up to Jesse’s smiling face, and Hanzo has to look away. He nods to depart, but Jesse strikes out to grab him by the wrist. Jesse doesn't pull him back in like he assumes, but rather holds his wrist, wanting to speak. 

“We ought to decide now while our wits are about us if you want me to knot you.” 

A combination of desire and mortification at hearing Jesse say the word “knot” almost has Hanzo's knees giving out. Thankfully they don't, and Jesse doesn't make comment at how he shivers or how the hairs on his arm stand up. When Hanzo tries to take his hand back, Jesse shuffles to close the space between them. Besides the burning grip around his wrist though, Jesse doesn't touch him. The little smile is still on his face when Hanzo lets Jesse catch him looking. His paw squeezes Hanzo's wrist to catch his attention. 

“We don't gotta, if you don't want it. It's… It's real different from a sex toy, so…”

Hanzo nods and lets some wet strands of hair fall in his face. 

“What is so different about it?” 

Jesse snorts above him, and Hanzo watches his soaked feet shuffle in the water racing towards the drain. 

“Well, for starters it builds up at the end of the performance, to not be ‘crass’ as you put it. So I'd be in you and it would just… Well, it would swell up gradually. I wouldn't be able to pull out until it went down. So…” 

Hanzo nods and readies another question, but Jesse talks over him before he gets a chance. 

“It won't hurt more so than one of your sex toys, Hanzo. I wouldn't let that happen.” 

Wiggling his hand to get away, Hanzo twists his fingers together over his navel. Of course he's thought about this. He's had fantasies from the first moment he got his teenage hands on wolfmen porn. He'd suffered a terrible case of eyes-too-big-for-my-body syndrome when he'd been old enough to walk into a sex shop and buy his first dildo. He regrets bringing Genji with him for that, will never forgive himself for how embarrassing it’d all been. But he'd wanted it, still wants it now even though his face is on fire and his stomach won't stop flipping. Excitement and nervousness fill him up until he's tingly at the tips of his fingers, and it just increases until he’s numb when Jesse ducks down to make eye contact. 

“Hanzo?” 

“Yes,” he blurts out. “Yes, let's do it. I… I want to.” 

Jesse bumps their noses together with a grin showing his white teeth. 

“Don't need to tell me twice. Let me finish up here, and then I'll finish up you.” 

Hanzo appreciates Jesse defusing his nervous energy with humor. He groans at Jesse’s terrible joke and finally pulls his wrist out of the wolf’s paw. He doesn't get far—his back to Jesse and not even out of the shower—when a little smack to his ass has him jumping. It’s a bright point of contact, sweeping from the ground and connecting with the bottom curve of his ass. The _crack!_ of skin-on-skin echoes in the bathroom, even over the spray of the showerhead. His heartbeat already throbs through the paw-shaped print on his ass. Hanzo whips his head around to yell, but Jesse’s honey eyes are narrow and full of promise. Hanzo fights to keep his gaze above waist level. 

“Wait for me,” Jesse tells him. “And none of that touchin’ yourself to get ready. You're all mine.” 

Lips in a thin line and face on fire, Hanzo slips from the shower without comment. He barely remembers to grab a towel for his soaked hair and body in his haste to leave. Jesse takes to whistling and humming in the shower, and Hanzo can hear it all the way from the bed. Sitting is a mistake. The one cheek Jesse had spanked stings when he tries to rest, so Hanzo stretches out on his side. Biting his lip, he cheats a little bit on Jesse’s rule and reaches around to ghost shaking fingers over the red mark on his ass. His skin buzzes even from that one smack. It had sent a little jolt, like a static shock, through his body. No one has ever done that to him before. He pockets the idea for later and clutches the pillow under his head. There’s nothing to worry over, he tells himself while his heartbeat just rockets higher and higher. Jesse and he have fooled around plenty, now, and he no longer shies away from Jesse’s touch to sensitive places on his body. Hanzo buries his face in a pillow while remembering the scratch of Jesse’s paws on him. The wolf is partial to his inner thighs, and Hanzo clamps his legs shut at the memories. 

The patter of water hitting tiles stops. Hanzo lifts his head to glance over his shoulder. The roar of a hair dryer comes to life, and Hanzo bites back a grin. It will take Jesse forever to dry his fur. He wonders if the wolf is still aroused somehow. It's been ten minutes at least, probably double that with drying time. Hanzo shifts into his back and throws an arm over his eyes. His ass has stopped buzzing, but the cheek Jesse had slapped is still warmer than the other. He shuffles around and lets his legs fall open. A hard swallow attempts to dislodge the ball of nervousness stuck in his throat, but it's less than effective. The shriek of the dryer goes on and on as Jesse probably dances around the bathroom, swaying his hips to some song only he can hear. Hanzo has witnessed the spectacle, and Jesse hadn't even missed a step after spotting him snooping. The wolf had just grabbed him around the waist and dragged him around the bathroom, slow dancing to the roar of the hair dryer. 

The bathroom door opens the moment the dryer shuts off. Hanzo lifts his head, face pinched in confusion. It's not been nearly long enough for Jesse to completely dry. The wolf has a towel behind his back, paws jerking the long length of it across his fur. He bounces and shimmies on his feet, still dancing to a song. He cracks open a golden eye and grins at Hanzo. He doesn't bother stopping, just tiptoes and bobs his hips on the way to the bed. Snorting, Hanzo gets his hands under him and scoots to the edge where Jesse sways. The silly grin still stretches his lips as he whips the towel around and piles it on his head. When his furry shins bump Hanzo’s knees, Jesse lowers himself with a grunt to kneel on the floor. Blinded by the towel, his clean paws find Hanzo’s wrists and drag his hands up to the towel. Humming, Hanzo does as Jesse requests and rubs the towel on his fur. Jesse’s shoulder hitch with a chuckle, but he says nothing under Hanzo's hands. The temptation to treat Jesse roughly presents itself, but Hanzo discards the idea almost immediately. 

Instead, Hanzo rubs his fingers in circles on the towel. He finds Jesse's ears and pinches them. Jesse jumps under his hands, and Hanzo moves on after the single touch to the sensitive appendages. The back of Jesse’s heavy skull is always a hot spot for touch, and Hanzo doesn't mind treating Jesse a little roughly here. Jesse’s chest hums against his legs as the wolf lets out a happy grumble. His head bobs to the motion of Hanzo rubbing tight circles on the bumps of his skull. Jesse leans forward the longer Hanzo touches him, and Hanzo imagines the wolf’s eyes must be completely shut by now, heavy as he slips into a daze. Jesse’s cold nose bumps the clean skin just above Hanzo’s navel. He flinches at the wet contact, but he doesn't try to push Jesse away. Jesse makes dazed, happy noises while pressing weak kisses to his stomach. Hanzo's hands flinch on his head, and he pauses while the kisses turn less and less chaste. 

“You don't gotta stop,” Jesse murmurs into his treasure trail. The furry underside of his jaw grazes the hardening skin of Hanzo’s erection as he talks. “My fur isn't dry.” 

“None of you is dry,” Hanzo complains as he drags the towel down to Jesse’s shoulders, freeing his head. “You will ruin your mattress this way.” 

Jesse tilts his head until his lips graze the root of Hanzo's cock. He grins into the skin and murmurs, “Won't be the first time.” 

Hanzo jumps under him at the first, hot lick along his shaft. If he wasn't interested the moment Jesse had kneeled in front of him, he's definitely into it now. The muscles in his thighs jump as Jesse noses along his foreskin. The fur of his muzzle is soft and clean, and Hanzo shakes as it caresses his skin. A warm paw spreads out in the center of his chest, and Jesse applies enough force to unbalance him. Hanzo drops to the mattress without a complaint. His legs twitch as Jesse gets both paws under his thighs and drapes them over his shoulders. Jesse’s paws run the gauntlet from the hair below his navel, up to his chest, and back down again. Meanwhile, the wolf noses at his erection, kissing it and humming against it until he's fully hard. Hanzo shakes as he sucks in air. Jesse’s paws on his stomach pause there to feel him breathe. His fingers spread out and rise with Hanzo’s shaky inhale, dip down with his rushed exhale. Lips vibrate on his cock as Jesse chuckles, and it's the only warning he gets before that hot mouth assaults the head peeking out from his foreskin. It's easy for Jesse to crane his head up and angle Hanzo's cock into his mouth. Hanzo fits in his mouth without a challenge, and Jesse smiles against his belly when he takes it all. 

“J-Jesse.” Hanzo's fingers twist in the sheets below his hair. He bites his lip while flinging his head back, trapping a groan behind his teeth. “D-Don't I'll.. I'll come, hng…” 

Jesse doesn't offer him a reply in words. Mindful of Hanzo's refractory period, Jesse lets his cock slide out of his mouth and returns to teasing it. He drags a paw down Hanzo’s body to steady his erection. Fingers wrap around him and drag his foreskin down to expose where he's most sensitive. It only takes one buck of Hanzo's hips for Jesse to pin them with his other paw. Jesse’s paw dwarfs his cock, but Hanzo can't feel self conscious about it when the wolf licks at the underside. Warm and wet, Jesse’s tongue slips up from the base to trace a pulsing vein. Fur tickles his inner thighs, and Hanzo almost slams them shut. Jesse chuckles where he dives the tip of his tongue through the wet slit of Hanzo's cock. With his forearms, Jesse blocks his thighs from trying to close anymore. Even when Hanzo arches his back, all his thighs can do is press along Jesse’s furry arms. Jesse presses sloppy kisses to the tip before sitting up to take his fill of Hanzo's red face. 

Eyes pinched shut, Hanzo drags in air through his mouth. He twitches between his legs even without Jesse there to torture him. The wolf has to stop himself from leaning back down to kiss his pretty cock again. Instead, Jesse’s paws slip down to his inner thighs. His claws are still blunt, short nubs, and he doesn't have to use caution while dragging them down Hanzo’s skin. They leave behind five, straight lines through that flawless skin. That shocks him, and Hanzo's dark eyes fly open. He stares down the sweaty line of his body to find Jesse with that soft smile on his face. Turning his head, Hanzo crosses his arms over his chest and squeezes Jesse between his legs. 

“Can I help you?” Hanzo grumbles. 

Jesse bends down to kiss the hairy skin below his navel and murmurs, “You're beautiful is all.” 

He moves before Hanzo can object to that. The furry line of Jesse’s body sticks to Hanzo's skin as he lies down beside him. Hanzo watches him, unsure and squirming, and rolls onto his side to face Jesse. Hanzo's fingers sort through all the fur sticking together in locks on Jesse's chest. The wolf responds in kind by dragging a paw up and down his side from just below his ribs, down to his thigh. Jesse's fur is still damp in most places where Hanzo combs, but there's no way he'll try to convince Jesse to leave and fully dry off. That would put a pause in their careful, unhurried exploration of each other. 

Hanzo digs through the clumped fur of Jesse’s soft stomach and allows his eye to wander down. Of course Jesse is hard just from blowing him. Hanzo blinks down between their bodies and marvels at Jesse’s stamina and eagerness. He would need to be in a particularly horny, needy mood to get hard without touching himself. Jesse manages it fine, even the other times they've rolled around without actually fucking. Hanzo wonders how long it will take for Jesse to come in him, if Jesse will end up fucking him long after Hanzo himself has orgasmed and lies boneless on the bed. He shivers under Jesse’s paw and wiggles a hand down, stopping just before grazing the blunt head of his cock. Jesse’s chest rumbles, and the wolf shifts closer to his hand. 

Shyness bounces around in Hanzo’s stomach, and he has to tear his gaze away when he finally touches Jesse’s cock. He hides his face under the wolf’s jaw. It’s the perfect place to hear Jesse groan above him. Hanzo bites his lower lip when he can't actually wrap his hand fully around Jesse. His middle finger and thumb can't quite touch. This all passes over Jesse, who is just happy to have Hanzo touching him. A furry arm trembles over Hanzo’s ribs, and Jesse drags him closer with a paw spread out on his back. Hanzo has less room to move his hand, but he hadn't intended to get Jesse off this way. This isn't his first time with a hand around his boyfriend’s massive dick, but Hanzo doubts he'll ever run out of awe for it. And the rest of Jesse always goes boneless and happy when Hanzo offers to touch him. There's no aggression, no dominance. It makes grabbing for Jesse’s cock much less intimidating. Hanzo smears his thumb over the pulsing tip and wonders if maybe Jesse is too shy to ask for this. The wolf whines into his hair and jerks his hips into Hanzo's fist, but Jesse regains control and stills his body. The idea has merit, but that's a worry for a different day. Hanzo’s grip slides down to squeeze the base of Jesse's cock where he knows the wolf knots up sometimes when they're fooling around. It'll be different, this time. 

“Mmm, don't tease, darlin,” Jesse mumbles into his hair. “I want the real thing.” 

Hanzo drags his face across Jesse’s chest fur and sighs. His fist tightens once more before he takes his hand back. 

“Well, then you'd better get to work,” he orders while tilting his head back, finding Jesse’s molten eyes watching him. “It will take time.” 

“Worth it.” Jesse presses a sloppy kiss to his forehead. “Even if my fingers cramp.” 

Jesse rolls away before Hanzo can swipe at him. The wolf chuckles as he scoots to the edge of the giant bed and stands, leaving Hanzo on his side. Hanzo props his head up in his palm and watches Jesse root through the top drawer of his dresser. Some of his fur along his back is dry and fluffy from the shower. Most of it around his outer thighs and ass still clumps in red locks, still wet. Jesse hums and wags his tail when he finally finds what he’s looking for. A box of condoms rattles in one paw while the other fishes out a bottle of lube. Jesse glances at both before regarding Hanzo over his shoulder. 

“Hope these condoms aren't out of date.” 

Eyes dropping, Hanzo chews on his lower lip before sitting up. Jesse turns to him with both items still held in his paws. 

“We are… Exclusive, yes?” Hanzo raises an eyebrow while blinking at him. 

“Of course!” Jesse smiles at him, sweet and soft in the middle. “Don't want nobody but you.” 

Hanzo picks at his cuticles and breaks eye contact when his courage shrinks. 

“Genji advised me to get tested for sexually transmitted diseases after our first few dates.” He fiddles with a nail that's longer than the rest. It's easier than looking at Jesse. “Of course, I've never slept with a man, always used protection with women. I was clear a few months ago, only partaking in sexual acts with you… What-what I'm trying to say is…” 

Jesse sucks in a breath, and Hanzo finally glances up at him again. 

“You, uh, suggesting I don't gotta wear a rubber?” 

A fresh blush makes Hanzo's head swim, and he ducks down to escape Jesse’s stare. Unprotected sex is of course incredibly risky. But they haven't exactly been cautious since the first time. Hell, he's had Jesse’s come in him without them actually fucking, courtesy of Jesse’s obsession with Hanzo smelling like him. That bit of hindsight had almost sent Hanzo into a panic, but he'd held it at bay. Jesse would have disclosed his status on infections or something permanent like herpes or HIV. Jesse has demonstrated himself as a responsible, communicative adult. There's no way, Hanzo had theorized, that Jesse would allow something so important to slip his mind. Hanzo had clung to that knowledge, because he’d also been too cowardly and embarrassed to ask. 

“If you are clear—” 

“I am! I am!” 

Lip between his teeth, Hanzo lets out a breath and mutters, “...I would allow it.” 

Jesse lets out a breath through the tight ‘o’ of his lips. He glances at the condom box in his paw before eyeing Hanzo on the bed. 

“You’re sure? You don’t gotta, just because you think I want it like that.” 

Hanzo scoffs and flicks his head back to shift his hair. 

“Your desire did not factor into my decision. **I** want it like that.” 

A shiver runs through the wolf and makes his fur stand up. Hanzo bites back a snicker as Jesse puffs up like a puppy. Jesse shakes from ears to toes to chase the electricity running wild under his skin. He tosses the box back into the top drawer without any concern if it lands there or not. Lube still in his paw, Jesse’s hips swing as he crosses the room back to the bed. His cock, bending up towards his stomach, sways even after he comes to a stop at the foot of the bed. His unoccupied paw reaches down to grab Hanzo’s ankle, squeezing the bones gently. Hanzo shifts to lie on his back, but Jesse stops him by kneeling behind him. The mattress sinks under his weight. Hanzo’s body rolls until he hits Jesse’s chest, and they chuckle quietly as they situate themselves again. Jesse rests the bottle of lube in the crook of Hanzo’s elbow. Once free, the paw settles over Hanzo’s erection, gone soft and lying on the sheets. 

Jesse’s lips brush his ear as he wiggles in close behind. “Ready? I’m gonna take my time like you said. Plus, I can’t get enough of you, so…” 

Hips jerking to drag his cock along Jesse’s soft paw, Hanzo turns his face into the pillow under him and nods. Jesse takes the lube back, and Hanzo shifts his arm up to fist in the pillowcase. He sucks in a long breath, waits until his lungs strain, and then lets it go in a rush. Jesse hums in his ear and snuffles against the nape of his neck. Hanzo arches to rub his ass on Jesse’s fur. Teeth nip at his earlobe before Jesse kisses his hair. The squelch of lube never comes, but Jesse’s paw returns. The large paw spreads out to cover Hanzo's navel, wandering up and around but never reaching for anything. Jesse shuffles in close behind and kisses his neck, behind his ear. Hanzo shoots him a confused glance over his shoulder, eyebrows coming together and lips thin. 

Jesse smacks one more kiss to Hanzo’s neck before murmuring deeply against the skin, “It'll be easier if you're nice and relaxed. Close your eyes if you want. I'll take care of you.” 

Hanzo snorts and turns his head back around. If Jesse wants to play the long game, he doesn't mind. Taking the wolf's advice, Hanzo shuffles to unwind some tension from his shoulders and closes his eyes. Jesse continues with his wandering kisses, light nibbles, and gentle petting of Hanzo's skin. His paw sweeps down Hanzo's stomach, over the ridge of his side, and down his flank. Hanzo sighs and tries to stay still even though he wants to roll forward so Jesse can get at his ass easier. But Jesse is a solid, warm wall behind him and doesn't allow Hanzo to rock around. Teeth pinch the back of his neck when Hanzo tries again, and he gives up after that. Jesse licks the teeth marks he's made and drags his paw over the hairs on Hanzo's outer thigh. His long fingers curl over the edge of Hanzo's thigh, letting the very tips of his fingers reach towards more sensitive skin. 

Hanzo swallows hard and buries his face in the pillow. All this gentle, mindless fondling of his body arouses interest below. He can't believe Jesse could make him half hard like this just by kissing his neck and sweeping a paw up and down his thigh. Hanzo sucks in a breath when Jesse shifts behind him, arching his arm over to grab at the front of his thigh. He follows Jesse’s wordless direction and drags his leg up until he can throw it over one of Jesse’s shins. That lets some cool air sink between his legs where he's started to sweat while growing harder and harder. Every swipe of Jesse’s paw, mindlessly back and forth, winds him tighter and tighter in his gut. The tension escapes in his arm hair standing straight up, in his breaths that stutter out his mouth. The tips of Jesse’s fingers stop just short where Hanzo's leg meets his torso. They ghost back down his skin and hair, graze setting fire wherever Jesse’s paw roams. Happy grumbles vibrate along his back all while Jesse presses his nose behind Hanzo's ear. The arm trapped under Jesse wiggles until the wolf can get it free and prop his upper body above Hanzo. He misses the warmth immediately. 

He whines, but Jesse doesn't shush him. Instead, Jesse noses along his collarbones and rolls Hanzo into his back using a thigh to offset his balance. Once Hanzo is flat on the bed, Jesse settles on his side, returning his furnace-like body heat to Hanzo's sensitive skin. The wolf’s fingertips clutch at Hanzo's inner thigh, not high enough for the rest of his furry arm to brush anything important. Jesse reaches over him to get at the other leg. He throws one of his own heavy, warm thighs over Hanzo’s, pinning the limb he'd spent so long fondling and caressing. A soft yelp coils in Hanzo's throat, but Jesse is there with quiet murmurs in his ear and kisses along his jaw. Hanzo's hand not caught between them twitches by his hip, wanting to hold on to Jesse but unsure of his welcome. Instead, Hanzo lifts his free hand to tangle in the sheets by his shoulder. He finches again under Jesse’s weight when the wet tip of his cock drags along his thigh. Jesse snorts in his ear and scoots his hips closer, trapping his cock along Hanzo's pinned thigh. Hanzo expects him to grind a little bit, but the wolf remains mostly still besides his wandering hand. That hand has drawn closer and closer to the v of his legs with every cycle of back and forth. Hanzo's skin grows tight over his muscles and bones, ready for the graze of Jesse’s fingers to touch him. 

Mindful of Hanzo's delicate collarbones, Jesse opts to rest his head cuddled up between Hanzo's head and shoulder when he finally slips between his boyfriend’s cheeks. There’s no lube, but Jesse doesn't plan on dipping inside him. Yet. Hanzo tries his best not to move when Jesse’s rough fingertips brush his hole. He doesn't want to give the wolf the idea that he doesn't want this. Swallowing hard again, Hanzo kicks his other leg out to give Jesse room. The wolf’s grin presses into Hanzo's skin, but Jesse says nothing about the all-access pass Hanzo has basically given him. His chest rumbles along Hanzo's side as he bestows the same gentle, slow treatment he'd given Hanzo's thighs to his ass. There's no intent behind his slow circling around and around the rim, no force when Jesse just rests his fingers where Hanzo squirms. Hanzo's pulse in his throat draws Jesse’s attention, and the wolf presses his muzzle to the jumping vein. He hides a smile there when Hanzo shifts against his lazy strokes, trying to build up a rhythm that isn't there. 

“Jesse,” Hanzo whispers. His hips jerk hard with the first, forceful press of Jesse’s fingers. “Mmm, now.” 

“Roger that,” Jesse chuckles into his ear. 

The squelch of lube from the bottle is obscene and hilarious, breaking the mood a bit. Hanzo bites back a laugh and presses his lips into a tight line—anything to not give himself away. Jesse presses his own terrible grin to Hanzo’s stomach, and his shoulders shake. Hanzo dives a hand into the thick fur around his ears and scratches his scalp. That gets a happy rumble out of Jesse’s chest, and they calm down from their giggle fit. The lube is warm in Jesse’s paw when he slides back between Hanzo's cheeks. There's less shock, less of a reason for Hanzo to flinch at the insistent touch. Jesse adjusts his furry body along Hanzo’s side, freeing Hanzo’s other arm. That hand—slightly numb and buzzing from restricted blood flow—finds a similar perch in the sheets up by his head. Hanzo scoffs at the image of himself that springs up in his mind—hands fisted like a virgin around the bed sheets like he’s never touched Jesse before, hair spread out in disarray, dark blush staining his face. Jesse will love it, once he glances up. 

Relaxed and pampered by Jesse’s gentle, slow caresses all over his ass and legs, Hanzo doesn’t even flinch when a thick finger slips into him. They’ve only done this once, of course. The time Jesse had caught him trying to ride a dildo. They’ve been intimate since then, but nothing past mutual handjobs or the occasional, enthusiastic blowjob from Jesse. It all goes back to Jesse never asking for Hanzo to touch him. Eyes pinched shut, Hanzo begins to amend that wrong by digging his fingers through Jesse’s fur. The wolf’s chest vibrates against his side, and Jesse turns his head up to give Hanzo more access. Sunk inside him to the last knuckle, Jesse doesn’t move for a bit, just letting Hanzo feel him. Jesse’s snout digs into Hanzo’s throat, and he has to turn the wolf’s head away before he chokes. Jesse goes with a grumble, but Hanzo cranes his chin over the top of Jesse’s head to keep him close. Adjusting on his side, Jesse’s slots his paw more snugly between Hanzo’s legs. His unoccupied fingers splay along Hanzo’s cheeks while his thumb finds the delicate skin of his balls. Hanzo jumps at that, and his thighs almost twitch close. But Jesse snuffles under his jaw, trying to comfort him.

“Not my first time around a pair of balls,” he says with a grin, even though Hanzo can’t see it. “Not gonna hurt you.” 

He does it again, and Hanzo jumps a little less this time. A wiggle of his finger inside Hanzo gets his relaxed boyfriend flopping his head back into the pillow. It gives Jesse more space to sniff and bite without Hanzo’s chin pinning him down. Jesse hums into his throat while pulling out. Hanzo complains by kicking the one leg Jesse doesn’t have between his own and fisting some red fur in his hand. Jesse coos at him and nibbles the bump of his Adam’s apple. He glides back in without resistance. Hanzo isn’t expecting Jesse to fuck him so smoothly, and his hips shake as the wolf finally sets a pace. Jesse provides a chorus of whines and happy noises so that Hanzo doesn’t have to hear anything below. When Jesse scoots up the bed to kiss and nuzzle his cheek, Hanzo turns his head to kiss the wolf as a reward. Jesse chuckles into their chaste kisses, pressing little pecks to Hanzo’s soft mouth rather than ravishing him. That’ll be for later. 

Jesse pulls out again with his lips barely touching Hanzo’s. He enjoys the way Hanzo shudders against him and presses forward to stop a moan from escaping. Hanzo has both hands twisted around Jesse’s fur now, both on his chest clinging for dear life. Hanzo is ready for more, but Jesse waits to give it to him until he can see those dark, beautiful eyes. Brows wrinkling the longer Jesse doesn't fuck him, Hanzo peers at the wolf through the narrowest slit of his eyes. Jesse bumps their noses together before pressing two fingers to Hanzo’s burning skin. Those bottomless eyes squeeze shut again, and Hanzo rolls his hips against Jesse’s firm touch. There's resistance this time when Jesse dips inside, but watching Hanzo throw his head back makes the slower glide in worth it. Only in to the first knuckle, Jesse pauses to let Hanzo enjoy the stretch. Or maybe get used to it, judging by how red his face is. He tries sinking in deeper, but the softest groan from Hanzo has him stopping. Jesse noses at Hanzo's jaw and cheek as his face slowly unwinds, the wrinkles smoothing out until Hanzo seems at peace. 

His fingers twitch in Jesse's fur before he mutters, “Move.” 

It's the only command Jesse needs. He makes a rhythm that's coddling and gentle, though. When Hanzo frowns and wiggles around on his fingers, Jesse shushes him and pecks a few kisses beside his mouth. 

“We’ll get to the fast and dirty part, don't you worry.” Jesse grins when Hanzo twists his fur even more. “I wanna take this part nice n slow. Have patience, darlin’.” 

The frown disappears, but Hanzo still shifts around every so often. Jesse lets him have the show of defiance. It's part of what makes Hanzo so endearing anyway. Jesse hides a grin in Hanzo’s hair while sinking all the way to his palm again. This deep and wide penetration draws a groan out of Hanzo. He tries to muffle it between his teeth. The music of it vibrates in his throat, so Jesse gets his fill of it anyway. It gets good, a nice drag back and forth with Hanzo rocking into him and squeezing, but Jesse grimaces the longer they go on. They need more lube. Smacking a loud, obnoxious kiss to Hanzo's blushing cheek, Jesse pulls out to drench himself in lube again. He doesn't get a peep out of Hanzo, just impatient wiggling. Hanzo's body flinches and nearly shakes apart when Jesse melts back into him, smoother than ever before. 

Hanzo picks up Jesse's lazy rhythm when the wolf moves again. There's no burn anymore, just the pressure and fullness of Jesse inside him. He's molten and buzzing at the rim where Jesse’s last knuckles bump against him with every glide inside. Hanzo seizes up at the peak of every long, languid thrust. Jesse lets his finger rest inside him, not moving or caressing him. That's when Hanzo tightens down on him, right before those thick fingers slip back to the loosening tension of his rim. Hanzo bites his lower lip, hoping that Jesse enjoys what he's doing. The wolf never stops snuffling at his neck, never stops the happy grumble vibrating his chest. Jesse twists inside him, sending the bumps of his knuckles to roll over his prostate, and Hanzo lets his bottom lip go to moan. Jesse murmurs something into his neck and does it again. Hips shaking and cock gushing a bit at the tip, Hanzo arches his back while trying to chase the pulse of electricity shooting up and down his spine. Jesse lets up on his sweet spot and returns to his languid thrusts, nibbling at Hanzo’s throat when he stutters out a needy whine. 

“Don’t stop,” Hanzo hisses out, almost below hearing. His hips jerk again when Jesse crams his fingers as deep as they’ll go. “Don’t… Don’t…” 

“Not gonna,” he murmurs back. “You want more?” 

“Idiot,” Hanzo sighs and turns his red face away. When Jesse doesn’t let up, continues to nibble and kiss his throat, Hanzo shudders and bites out, “Let’s move on.” 

“Yea?” Jesse cracks at eye open to gaze at all the sweaty, red skin of Hanzo’s face and throat. Some of it is darker in certain places courtesy of Jesse’s lips and teeth. “What about not stopping?” 

Hanzo whips his head back around to shoot a smoldering glare at him. Jesse bites back a snort and pecks a kiss on his bitten lips for his trouble. The expression melts away as Hanzo chases him down for another. Jesse perks up at such a forward show of desire from his boyfriend and grumbles happily into their kiss. When he pulls back, Hanzo pants through his mouth, still in Jesse’s personal space. A dark eye peeks open to find Jesse grinning at him like a loon. Hanzo’s mouth snaps shut with a click of his teeth, but he leans forward to bumps their noses together. Jesse let's outs another grumble and crooks his fingers again, just to feel Hanzo shudder around him. Two hands claw at his fur as Jesse nudges his knuckles against that bright point of nerves inside Hanzo. He yanks on the rusty locks until Jesse lets up on his delicious torture. 

Panting again, Hanzo croaks out, “I grow tired of this game.” 

“Could I interest you in a different kind of game? Maybe?” 

Hanzo snorts at Jesse’s awful attempt at dirty talk. He cranes up enough to kiss the wolf again before muttering, “You can fuck me now, yes.” 

Jesse hums with a second kiss, peeling his eyes open when he pulls back. Hanzo’s heart trips over itself when his field of view fills entirely with Jesse’s golden eyes and furry face. He's still keenly aware of the wolf’s fingers held motionless inside him, and Hanzo shivers when he catches his reflection in Jesse's eyes. He slips a hand down his body to scramble at Jesse's wrist. The wolf goes as he asks, letting his thick fingers slip out. Jesse blinks slowly at him and leans forward to nuzzle their faces together. Again, Hanzo's heart misses the mark and thunders out of beat in his chest. His stomach squirms too, but he won't let Jesse in on how excited and nervous he is. Jesse’s muzzle wrinkles as he cracks a grin. The wolf adds a cheeky wink to top it all off, and Hanzo rolls his eyes. Using both hands, Hanzo urges Jesse off him. He goes with a sad, tiny whine, but Hanzo ignores it. 

With Jesse still lazing on his back, Hanzo makes quick work of their positions. He climbs over Jesse’s thick thighs and straddles them. Jesse perks up while watching him, and Hanzo snorts with a smirk at his twitching cock. He snatches the lube from where Jesse had left it and lets it drizzle cold and wet on Jesse’s straining cock. The wolf yelps and bucks under him. Hanzo allows it, laughing at the just treatment Jesse deserves. Jesse has done this to him plenty of times, letting the bite of unwarmed lube shock him either on his dick or between his cheeks. Jesse pouts up at him the longer Hanzo chuckles. Sticking his own lip out to mock him, Hanzo mimics Jesse’s sad noises while wrapping a hand around his slippery cock. At the first graze of palm on him, Jesse’s pathetic whines cut off as he chokes on air. Two hands spreading the lube around and teasing Jesse has his golden eyes rolling back in his head. 

Shoulders rising off the pillows below him, Jesse stutters out, “Th-thought you was ready…” 

“I am,” Hanzo murmurs with a particularly cruel squeeze to the base of Jesse’s cock. He smiles through the wolf’s howling groan and adds, “Just making sure **you** are ready.” 

“Been ready since the, mmm… Since the day we met.” Jesse writhes under his hands, pumping little thrusts in Hanzo’s hands. A molten eye peeks open in all that fur, and Jesse grumbles, “I want you bad, darlin’.” 

The remaining sliver of Hanzo’s nervousness dries up as Jesse winks at him with a lazy smile. Since their first, heated tussle with Hanzo’s sex toys, he’d still clung to some doubt that Jesse wanted him. Jesse’s desire for him is usually no secret, especially with the evidence throbbing in his hands. But Hanzo is well aware that in the heat of the moment, people are capable of wild things they might not do otherwise. Jesse is a man—or wolf—of his word, and words are easier for Hanzo to trust. There’s a terrible, awful smile trying to tick up at the edges of Hanzo’s lips, and Jesse whines while waiting. Shaking in Hanzo’s hands, Jesse lifts a paw to curl a finger on his dimpled cheek. A sigh rushes out Hanzo’s nose and ruffles the fur on the back of Jesse’s paw, on his wrist. 

Jesse makes a face when Hanzo wipes his hands on the sheets. But Hanzo hoisting himself up and into Jesse’s lap proper like smoothes any irritation away. Big paws seek his hips, and Jesse holds Hanzo steady while he squirms up, flattening his back to the headboard. This puts them more at face level, and Jesse leans forward to bump their noses together. His cock makes a sticky mess of Hanzo’s well-rounded ass, and Jesse can’t help but jostle them some so it smacks against those globes. An impatient grunt from Hanzo puts a swift stop to that. Jesse nuzzles him again as an apology before wrapping a heavy paw around the back of Hanzo’s neck. He shushes his boyfriend when Hanzo goes tense under him. It’s a struggle at first to urge Hanzo to rise up and lean forward. There’s quite a lot of Jesse to get under him before the fun part can begin. 

One paw still wrestling Hanzo by the back of his neck, Jesse’s free paw gets a grip on his cock. At the first brush of blood-hot skin on his hole, Hanzo’s hands fly up to Jesse’s shoulders to twist in the fur. Jesse grumbles against his chest and teases Hanzo with slippery swipes of the head where he’s still buzzing from generous fingering. Hanzo arches forward until their chests press together, not at all trying to escape Jesse’s awful teasing but just wanting to feel as much of him as possible. The wolf murmurs against the side of his head. None of it is words, just comforting grunts and rumbly growls. Hanzo turns his head to hide a smile in Jesse’s rusty fur, but the smile crumbles a bit at the first burn of pressure as Jesse inches forward. 

Thick fingers squeeze the sides of his neck as Jesse murmurs, “Don’t be like that, darlin’. I know you want me.” 

A tiny nudge more, deeper into him has Hanzo barking out a laugh. He has something sassy for Jesse, ready on the edge of his lips. But the friction between his body and Jesse’s monstrous cock gives without warning, allowing Jesse to slip past his tight muscles. The tension in Hanzo’s neck can’t escape Jesse’s notice, and he holds still while Hanzo squirms under his paw. Jesse is just as blunt as his most robust toy, but the similarities end there. Hanzo has enough wits about him still to appreciate the drag and firmness of real flesh. The fullness in him is of course warm, whereas he’s used to silicone that slowly adapts to his body temperature. But Jesse runs hotter than Hanzo does, and there’s no way he can fool himself into thinking the intrusion is anything other than his lover. Hanzo struggles under Jesse’s paw at his neck, trying to turn his head enough to get at the wolf’s lips. 

“Jesse, mmm, let me…” 

Jesse lets him loose enough so they can kiss: smacky, poppy things as Hanzo moans against him. They smother a particularly loud, needy cry from Hanzo when Jesse loses his grip and slips in almost all the way. Jesse sputters, thinking he's hurt Hanzo, but Hanzo drags him back by the fur on his face and demands another kiss. Humming into it and excited by Hanzo’s bossy attitude, Jesse lets his hands drop to Hanzo's hips and settle him all the way down. Hanzo shudders in his hands and dares to squeeze the cock in him, smiling against Jesse’s lips when the wolf pinches his hip to get him to stop. The muscles in Hanzo's thighs already cry out and they haven't done anything yet. Peeling his bruised lips from Jesse’s eager mouth, Hanzo wipes sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand. Jesse cranes his head up, trying to steal more kisses. Chuckling, Hanzo bats him away with a trembling hand and grinds down on Jesse’s cock. He hasn't knotted up yet, but the idea of something even bigger popping into him has Hanzo’s head spinning. 

Jesse snuffles under his ear and nibbles the sweaty skin of his throat. Hanzo allows it while shifting around, testing how easy it is to move on his boyfriend’s shaft. Jesse’s fur sticks to his legs and ass, holding him down and making this difficult. A whine from Hanzo gets Jesse out of his daze and slapping the bed for the lube. He finds it and palms a cold handful of it on the insides of Hanzo’s cheeks. It's filthy and they'll need a shower again, but there's nowhere for Jesse’s fur to hang on to now. Hanzo sits up to let a few, meager inches of Jesse’s prick slip out of him before lowering himself again. They groan into each other’s hair and cling tighter to one another. Hanzo rolls his hips to repeat the sloppy thrust, and Jesse croons softly in his ear. Still, Hanzo's leg control is nothing compared to the strength of his arms, and he tires after only a minute or so of shifting on Jesse’s cock.

 “Mmm, I have a confession to make,” Hanzo slurs in one of Jesse’s round ears. “I'm terribly weak when it comes to this position. I need your help.” 

Uncaring that his moving about nudges his cock deeper into Hanzo, Jesse lets him go so that he can sit up properly. Hanzo shudders in his lap while Jesse jostles them about. Warm paws wrap around his throat before parting and dragging down his defined chest. It’s not a gentle and meaningless caress like the ones Jesse had used to relax him earlier. Instead, this graze of paw pad down his sensitive body is meant to tease. It’s for Jesse, and the wolf clearly loves it as he bounces Hanzo with his laugh. Hanzo cracks an eye open when Jesse deliberately avoids his nipples. He catches the wolf grinning at him as he explores Hanzo's torso. Hanzo ensnares the massive paws in his hands and directs them back to his hips, holding them there for good measure.

“If you want more out of me, you need to help.” 

Jesse cranes up to kiss Hanzo a few times before murmuring against his lips, “Leave it to me, darlin’. I'll get you where you want it.” 

Hanzo doesn't have time to snort at Jesse's terrible bedroom talk before the wolf lifts him like he's nothing and drops him back on his cock. 

“Jesse!” Hanzo scrambles at the powerful shoulders hidden under fur and hangs on as Jesse hammers into him. “Ah, Jesse pl-please, oh!” 

The bedsprings under them groan with Jesse's vigorous thrusting. When he lifts Hanzo up, he bows his hips back into the bed, only to snap them into Hanzo when he brings him back down. Hanzo’s knees barely make a dent in the mattress as Jesse takes control of their lovemaking. Hanzo is anchored only by his death grip on Jesse’s shoulders, which shift and grind under him with every drag of his body up Jesse's prick. He's overly full, gasping for breath whenever Jesse’s pelvis slams into his ass. On the grueling thrusts out of his body, the ridge of Jesse’s head teases over his prostate sometimes, and Hanzo's back snaps and bows as he chases that sensation. Every drag of Jesse’s dick across that sweet spot sends tingles up his spine, adding white-hot fuel to the pit behind his navel. His cock is painfully hard for no one having touched it. Hanzo peers down his body at it, watches it dribble out white precome. His eye also catches on the bump where Jesse is sunk inside him. A glance at Jesse’s furry face proves to Hanzo that the wolf is watch it too, probably wants to feel him inside and out. But his cockhead drags across Hanzo’s prostate again, and he throws his head back and forgets about the bulge in his belly. 

Jesse tunes in to exactly what's happening with that show of passion. He changes things up, butting his cock back and forth where he's discovered Hanzo twitches and chokes on his moans. Stars dance behind Hanzo’s pinched-shut eyes, and every rub on his prostate winds the spring in his gut tighter and tighter. Jesse dives his head down to get at Hanzo’s skin, biting his throat and lapping at his nipples. Hanzo is torn between arching up, offering more skin for Jesse to mark, or to roll his body into the short, jarring thrusts Jesse has going. His hands fly up to tangle in the long locks of fur around Jesse’s head, urging the wolf to rise and look at him. Jesse’s gold eyes widen when they catch sight of him, and Hanzo is sure his face must be stained a horrible red, eyes swimming with tears about to spill down his face. Before Jesse can make a whine of worry—or worse slow down—Hanzo smothers his muzzle with kisses. 

“Don't stop,” he moans, voice rising on the last word as Jesse crams his dick as deep as it'll go. “Don't you dare.” 

“Wouldn't dream of it,” Jesse growls back, ducking his head out of Hanzo’s sweaty hands and biting at his throat. 

Hanzo's howl as Jesse grinds into him vibrates through his neck and into Jesse's mouth. The wolf gives his own call and removes his teeth before anything bad can happen. He sets them in the meat of Hanzo's shoulders, leaving perfect imprints of them in semi-ovals. Biting down on Hanzo prevents his boyfriend from bouncing in his lap, but the velvety walls around him have grown tighter and tighter, squeezing him with every thrust. Jesse hums into Hanzo's collarbones as he slips a paw between them, snatching Hanzo's cock where it's teetered between painfully hard and semi-erect all this time. Jesse finds it dark with blood and messy at the tip, and he grins down while thumbing at some fresh moisture that's oozed out. Hanzo yanks on his fur, crying things Jesse can't understand to the ceiling. Gathering his strength under him, Jesse rocks forward until he can slam Hanzo's back into the mattress. He captures a weak leg and hoists it up to Hanzo’s chest. The new space lets him in deeper, and Hanzo can do nothing but stare up at him with half-lidded eyes and an open mouth. There's drool at the corner of Hanzo's lips, but he can't coordinate himself enough to wipe it away. 

“You ready?” Jesse pants down at him, hips rolling away as he strokes Hanzo's cock. “You feel so good, I can't wait to watch you come.” 

Shoulders hunched up by his red ears, Hanzo grits his teeth and turns his head away. Jesse murmurs sweet nothings to him, all the pet names and happy grumblings. This deep, Jesse doesn't bother trying to find his sweet spot again. It's enough to be stuffed full and rock into him. Hanzo squeezes Jesse inside him to build up a rhythm, making sure to nudge his cock through Jesse’s fist to match the tempo. Hanzo sucks in great gulps of air and forgoes begging with words. Incoherent moans and cries pour out his mouth as Jesse bears all his weight down, bumps the beginning of his knot against Hanzo's sore rim. After another cruel circling of Jesse's thumb around Hanzo's prick, he tightens once more and comes. He's aware of Jesse's weight and warmth, but he can't hear the wolf croon softly in his throat. Tightness and heat behind his navel finally unravels. Hanzo can't even get his eyes open to watch himself or Jesse. He's coming, and that's all he knows. Lips pepper his face, his mouth, but Hanzo doesn't respond. Telling his limbs to move doesn't make it past his brain, and he lies boneless on Jesse’s dick for a few moments. Long enough for Jesse to whine in his ear and press his cold nose to Hanzo's cheek. An order for Hanzo to open an eye makes it through, and he stares at Jesse through tears. 

“Hi.” 

Jesse snorts and kisses his cheek. 

“Good?” 

Hanzo's eye slips shut and he hums, still unable to move. 

“Mmm.” 

He's empty after that, Jesse's erection slipping out and leaving him open and aching. Hanzo grimaces where he thinks the wolf is. Furry arms pick him up, and Jesse positions them back at the headboard. He's a long line of heat and fur behind Hanzo. Jesse slips a paw between his legs and gets at the back of a knee, the leg on top. Jesse pulls it up and struggles behind Hanzo, fooling around with something. The head of Jesse’s erection bumps Hanzo's used hole, and he slips back in like they were made for each other. Overly sensitive and sore, Hanzo gasps at the top of his throat and throws his head back. Jesse is quick to settle down behind him, holding his leg up and shushing him. The bulge of his knot forming hasn't gone away, and it excites Hanzo enough for him to open his eye. Arms shaking, Hanzo takes Jesse’s place holding his leg up and drags the wolf’s paw to the center of his chest. Jesse noses at the sweat on the nape of his neck while rocking his knot against that loose rim. 

“Hold me,” Hanzo whispers. “Hold me when you do this.” 

“Of course,” Jesse murmurs with his lips still kissing and sucking at Hanzo's skin. “I won't let you go, darlin’. I promise.” 

Hanzo clings to the back of Jesse's paw regardless. Down one paw, Jesse shuffles his body forward as he grinds his knot against that weak resistance. Hanzo takes a deep breath, still dizzy from his orgasm, and tries to relax as much as possible. Jesse has him worked open, somehow coaxing him even more as his knot starts to slip in. It's not fully formed yet, so the gradual widening of his shaft isn't unbearable. But Jesse is shaking and moaning behind him—terrible and beautiful noises right in his ear. Jesse howls softly and pants his name, paw spasming in the valley between his pecs. Hanzo threads their fingers together as he arches his hips back, silently begging his body to yield, to give him the deepest sense of intimacy and connection to this wolf. Hanzo gnaws on his bottom lip as more and more slips into him. The fur above Jesse's cock tickles his cheeks, and they're almost tied together. Hanzo is dizzy with how much he wants this, has never wanted anything more. It hurts some, right at the rim of his hole, but he pushes back and demands more. 

They pause again, both panting for different reasons. The weight and pressure of Jesse’s knot almost inside him sends Hanzo's head spinning, and he has to make an effort to breathe. Jesse on the other hand can't believe how tight Hanzo still is, despite having been fucked and held open on his cock. Jesse bites at the back of Hanzo's neck, growling with a mouthful of his flesh. All the little hairs on Hanzo's body stand straight up at that sound, at the way it zips through his body and makes his fingers and toes tingle. Hanzo shivers and bucks back against Jesse’s body, letting out a moan from the bottom of his throat as the wolf finally settles inside him, knot and all. Jesse groans around his neck. His teeth sink a little too deep, and multiple pinpricks of pain light up there. Hanzo gasps and hunches his shoulders, unable to coordinate himself enough to speak. His throat is too tight with the knowledge that Jesse has him in his jaws. There's no way he can get hard again, not so soon, but Jesse pinning him with his knot and teeth excites Hanzo all the same. Jesse grumbles deep in his chest and finally moves back. The wet sound of his teeth leaving Hanzo's neck, along with the pressure lifting from delicate muscles and nerves, gets Hanzo shivering. Jesse’s paw jerks on his chest again, and the wolf cuddles up behind him. 

“Sorry,” Jesse breathes in his ear. “Did I hurt you?” 

“No,” Hanzo murmurs. “I'm fine. Full.” 

Jesse groans in his ear and bucks his knot forward, grinding it into Hanzo's ass. 

“Don't tell me that.” Hot breath blankets the teeth marks on his neck. “You don't know what that does to me.” 

Hanzo snorts and traces patterns on the back of Jesse's paw. 

“You're lucky I'm adverse to dirty talk, otherwise…” 

Jesse kisses under his ear and rocks his knot caught in tight walls and wonderful heat. 

“Still. Can't talk about mating things around me like that. Might lose it.” 

“Almost worth the risk.” Hanzo bucks back and grins at the punched-out groan he draws out of Jesse. “Just to have your teeth on me, pinning me to the bed.” 

“Hanzo,” Jesse growls in warning. It's more of a plea, really. 

“Mmm, and every wolf would know what you'd done to me.” Hanzo bites back a laugh when Jesse thrashes behind him. His knot bumps and shifts in him, feels almost too good to keep talking. But he wants to pick at all the strings holding Jesse together until he comes undone. “They'd know you held me down and fucked me, made me messy with your knot.” 

A quiet howl is muffled in his shoulder. Jesse hips snap forward to dig his knot into Hanzo's body, bullying it back and forth through the first few inches inside him. It puts pressure on his prostate, too, and Hanzo jostles his leg higher to feel more of Jesse pressing into him. The little pumps of Jesse's hips turn sloppy. They’re stuttering things that jar Hanzo, pause as Jesse runs out of steam, and then shake him with Jesse’s renewed vigor. Hanzo squeezes the cock in him and gasps when Jesse's teeth sink into his shoulder, drawing blood the first time. Hanzo throws his head into the pillow, baring his throat for Jesse to take if he wants. Jesse howls around his shoulder as he freezes, only his stomach jumping as he spills inside. Hanzo can't feel Jesse come in him, their body temperatures not nearly different enough. But he can imagine the wolf filling him up, blocking the come from slipping out. It'll make a terrible mess when Jesse pulls out, and the wolf will probably try to finger it all back in him. That or maybe Jesse will hold him open and watch it all slip out. Either image makes Hanzo flush with renewed embarrassment. Jesse loves making him smell like a wolf, likes to watch him. 

Hanzo pets the back of Jesse’s shaking paw as he finishes. Jesse’s little jerks and whimpers wind down until he’s still and silent. Humming, Hanzo prods his love with a foot, trying to stir the wolf enough to make them comfortable while they’re stuck together. Jesse grumbles with his teeth still caught in Hanzo’s flesh. As an apology, Jesse snuffles against the wounds and licks them, whining softly when Hanzo flinches or hisses. He’s not sorry in a regretful sense, just sorry that Hanzo is in pain. Hanzo pats the back of his paw and rolls his shoulder to send the wolf away from his marks. Jesse plants a few kisses around the gnawed area before settling down as Hanzo had wanted. With his paw still flat on Hanzo’s chest, Jesse scoops him closer and tangles their legs as much as he can. Every shift of their bodies sends his knot—now as overly sensitive as Hanzo is—pushing and pulling where they’re stuck. Jesse howls softly in Hanzo’s ear when he squirms and shift, trying to find a comfortable way to lie without bothering his hips. Hanzo reaches behind him and pinches Jesse’s muzzle shut to get him to stop. Jesse’s breath rushes out his nose, wetting Hanzo’s palm a bit. The wolf whines as Hanzo keeps his hand there, and Hanzo hides a smile in the pillow beneath his head. 

“Enough,” he sighs. “You’re already all over me and in me, what more do you want?” 

“I’m sensitive and sore too, ya know.” Jesse whines when Hanzo finally releases his muzzle. “All this squirmin’ and kickin’ around is driving me crazy, darlin’.” 

Sloppy smile still on his face, Hanzo stretches his back as best he can and mutters, “I will try to remain still.” 

Jesse squeezes a pec under his paw. “Good, lemme hold you for a little while. Just a little bit…” 

“Mmm, I’m not going anywhere,” Hanzo slurs.

Kisses press wet and sweet behind his ear, and Jesse says after a few, “Knot’ll go down soon. I’ll help clean you up. Clothes optional for the rest of the day.” 

Chuckling lightly and weakly, Hanzo thread their fingers together and cuddles back into Jesse’s stomach and chest. 

“Your idea of ‘clean up’ is to do terrible things to me with your body fluids.” 

Jesse shies away from his cuddling and murmurs, “I won’t, if you don’t like it.” 

Hanzo blushes and buries his face in the pillow to muffle his confession. “I don’t mind, idiot.” 

That gets him right back in Hanzo’s space, snuffling happily along his neck and whining. The familiar _thwap_ of Jesse’s tail joins the fun, too, and Hanzo laughs at how ridiculous Jesse can be. His laughing shifts Jesse’s knot in him, though, and they both hiss at the drag of swollen flesh. Jesse hums in his ear and shushes him. His paw shifts under Hanzo’s, probably trying to dive down to pet his stomach, but Hanzo holds fast to him. There’s still a bump in his belly, and he doesn’t want Jesse to touch it. The wolf submits without much of a fight, especially when Hanzo twists around as much as he can to get at Jesse’s lips again. With a grin, Jesse curls in towards him and kisses him, just a lingering press of their lips. Hanzo breaks the first kiss and starts the second, humming into it. Slipping his paw free, Jesse cradles the sharp line of Hanzo’s jaw. He curls a furry finger on Hanzo’s pink cheek. Pulling away reveals that the pink is growing deeper again, and Hanzo rolls back onto his side with Jesse’s paw still at his face. Jesse arches over him, straining to kiss the cheek he can get at. 

“I love you, darlin’. My little storm cloud.” 

Hanzo wiggles around, testing how locked together they are. The resistance slips a bit, and they both suck in a breath. 

“Save your pet names for later and get out of me,” he orders. 

“Mmm, do I have to?” Jesse’s paw slides down his face, skates over his Adam’s apple, and finds a nipple pebbling in the chill of the bedroom. He pinches it while murmuring, “We could get you warmed up for round two. Wouldn’t even have to pull out of you.” 

“Idiot,” Hanzo sighed fondly while smacking Jesse’s fingers away from his chest. “I’ll think about it. Get your dick out of me, first.” 

Jesse pouts and whines, “Fine,” before setting to do as Hanzo had bid. 

Jesse takes his paw back one last time to pet and soothe Hanzo’s body. Hanzo isn’t sure if Jesse tracing maddening circles around his stretched hole helps, but it feels good, so he lets it go. The wolf hums and shushes Hanzo when he whimpers. Without Jesse to cling to, Hanzo claws at the sheets as his boyfriend eases his knot out. It pops out followed by a gush of come, and Jesse chuckles like the animal he is while watching. He shows mercy on Hanzo’s sore hole by not playing with it or the come leaking out of him. He holds Hanzo open to watch, just like Hanzo suspected he would. The dark blush on Hanzo’s face fights for an encore performance as Hanzo clenches and squirms, helping to push Jesse’s come out of him. The low groan of Jesse as he watches is all Hanzo needs to know he enjoyed the effort. Teeth find the back of his neck, and Jesse chews on him for a second while finally rubbing his stomach, now free of the offending bump. 

“God, I love you,” Jesse growls to his neck. “You’re everything I ever wanted, Hanzo. Where you been all my life?” 

Snorting, Hanzo reaches back to grab Jesse’s fur while he twists around. He yanks the wolf into a kiss, forcing his tongue into Jesse’s mouth. Jesse accepts everything he gives, tail banging away on the bed. When Hanzo finally lets him go, has finally had his fill, he blinks up at Jesse while they both pant. 

“Well, I lived in Japan until about ten years ago.” He smirks at Jesse, baring his teeth at the wolf. “So we could not have known each other before then.” 

“Smartass.” Jesse rolls on top of Hanzo and kisses him breathless. While Hanzo pants and strains under his weight, Jesse nuzzles his shaved hair and murmurs, “Thank you for bein’ in my life. Thank you for finding me and lettin’ me love you.” 

Hanzo blinks up at him, sober all at once, and kisses his dark nose. 

“Thank you, Jesse McCree, for waiting for me. My feelings for you… They run deep. Please know that.” 

“Of course I do.” Their eyes shut as they share another chaste, brief kiss. Jesse runs the end of his muzzle up the side of Hanzo’s nose, staring into his dark eyes while still on top of him. “We got more than words between us, sweetpea. That’s all I need.” 

Hanzo runs a toe up the sensitive inside of Jesse’s calf and barks a laugh when he jumps. 

“You are heavy and warm. I’d like to be clean again, please.” 

Grumbling, Jesse hops off the bed before scooping Hanzo up. Hanzo shoves at the wolf’s thick shoulders and kicks his little legs, but Jesse has him tightly held. Like carrying a bride over the threshold, Jesse ushers his squirming love back into the bathroom. He only sets Hanzo down once they’re in the shower stall, hot water soaking them for a second time. All the fluffy fur around Jesse’s head deflates on him, once again making him more of a drowned rat than a wolf. Giggling, Hanzo cards his fingers through the wet mess until Jesse’s golden eyes finally appear. The wolf smiles at him and leans down for a kiss, which Hanzo happily gives. Jesse backs him up to the tiles and traps him with either paw stuck flat beside his head. Hanzo twists his head away, breathless again, but Jesse nudges him back with a finger on his chin. His tongue sneaks out to lick the tip of Hanzo’s nose, and Jesse breaks out in a grin when Hanzo grimaces. 

“So… About my round two idea…”


End file.
